MY HUSBAND AND I TRIED ANAL PENETRATION AND IT FEELS GOOD WITH FINGERS, BUT AS SOON AS HE TRIED TO GO INSIDE WITH HIS PENIS, ABOUT A FEW INCHES IN IT STARTED TO HURT AND HE PULLED OUT REALLY FAST AND THAT HURT LIKE NO PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT.
IM UP FOR TRYING IT AGAIN, BUT HE SEEMS TO GET SO EXCITED, THAT "TAKING IT SLOW" I KNOW WILL BE HARD FOR HIM- ANY ADVICE ON THAT? ANY ADVICE ON HAVING ANAL??
HE HAS NEVER PREFORMED ANAL SEX BEFORE AND IS CLUELESS.
AND IT TOOK ALONG TIME TO GET HIM COMFORTABLE WITH TRYING IT WITH ME, AND I WANT TO TRY IT ON HIM, BUT HE IS RELUCTANT TO LET ME. HE REALLY ENJOYS IT WHEN I GO DOWN ON HIM TO LICK AND STROKE AROUND HIS ANUS, AND PERENUEM, AND BALLS AND HAS COME MUCH MORE INTENSELY THIS WAY, SO IM NOT SURE WHAT MORE I CAN DO TO GET HIM COMFORTABLE WITH ME GOING IN WITH A FINGER OR TWO.
IM UP FOR TRYING IT AGAIN, BUT HE SEEMS TO GET SO EXCITED, THAT "TAKING IT SLOW" I KNOW WILL BE HARD FOR HIM- ANY ADVICE ON THAT? ANY ADVICE ON HAVING ANAL??
HE HAS NEVER PREFORMED ANAL SEX BEFORE AND IS CLUELESS.
AND IT TOOK ALONG TIME TO GET HIM COMFORTABLE WITH TRYING IT WITH ME, AND I WANT TO TRY IT ON HIM, BUT HE IS RELUCTANT TO LET ME. HE REALLY ENJOYS IT WHEN I GO DOWN ON HIM TO LICK AND STROKE AROUND HIS ANUS, AND PERENUEM, AND BALLS AND HAS COME MUCH MORE INTENSELY THIS WAY, SO IM NOT SURE WHAT MORE I CAN DO TO GET HIM COMFORTABLE WITH ME GOING IN WITH A FINGER OR TWO.
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as a guy i would rather give then recieve when it comes to anal.. my wife doesnt feel comfortable getting close
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Ok, so first of all, if you are nervous and tense, it isn't going to work. Relaxing is obviously easier said than done though. Two suggestions for this;
1) Buy some anal relaxer spray (when I first started trying with my husband, I bought natural organics anal relaxer and it worker great.) You can also try a desensitizer mixed in as well, which I did, but that is less of a good idea because you need to be able to feel if there is pain so you can stop. (I bought Anal Ease.) There should not be any real pain. At most, a little discomfort upon initial insertion.
2)If you want to just go natural (Of course never forgetting tons of lube... and I mean tons. There is never too much. This is one of the biggest keys to pleasurable and not painful anal sex.) you can try having him bring you to an orgasm first for the first few times until you are more comfortable with it and relax easier. If you orgasm first, it relaxes your muscles and will allow him to pass the two sphincters that tighten up naturally when you are nervous and he is trying to penetrate you. These are what make anal sex painful if you rush. They need to relax and open so he can pass through, otherwise you will tear. Absolutely let him finger you first if you like that because that will help your body to relax as well and open up.
As for going slow, sorry, but you are going to have to initially. He will just need to restrain himself- it will be worth it for him a few minutes later. If he doesn't, you won't want to again. :P He may need to go in an inch and then slowly-not quickly- withdraw and then re-enter a little deeper, repeating as many times as necessary until it finally allows him all the way in. When I was first learning, I would often just have him stay inside and not move for a minute or two one he made it all the way in; sometimes if it was too intense just having him be there (It can be overwhelming at first- it's such a new and intense feeling, but in a good way), I would have him withdraw one more time and re-enter. It gets easier and easier. Start movements off slow once he is fully inside and soon (maybe a few minutes later) you will be come relaxed enough for him to go faster and faster.
When we first tried, I didn't know any of this so I kept trying to get it in as quick as possible and force it past the sphincters and I bled.. alot. I would do anal every few months because it hurt so bad but I knew he liked it so I said I did too... but I HATED it. I liked the idea of it but it hurt so bad!! I finally got fed up- I hated having to stop in the middle and be disappointing with something I knew he loved so much and I hated doing something that didn't feel good for me too so I went and researched everything I could find to make it better and easier. (FYI- playing with toys in there as well as fingers, if you have them/are into that helps too. And if you are worried about any mess, you can always use an enema to clean yourself out first.) I ended up figuring out how to do it properly and pretty soon, wow! It can be pretty incredible. Once in a while, we still need to start slow but he really can go as fast and hard as he likes a few minutes later. And it doesn't hurt at all. Most people never figure out how to do it properly, don't use nearly enough lube, and rush it... and then they quit forever because of the massive pain from being impatient. And what a shame! Tell him to go slow, and believe me- it will so be worth it for both of you. :)
Good luck!
1) Buy some anal relaxer spray (when I first started trying with my husband, I bought natural organics anal relaxer and it worker great.) You can also try a desensitizer mixed in as well, which I did, but that is less of a good idea because you need to be able to feel if there is pain so you can stop. (I bought Anal Ease.) There should not be any real pain. At most, a little discomfort upon initial insertion.
2)If you want to just go natural (Of course never forgetting tons of lube... and I mean tons. There is never too much. This is one of the biggest keys to pleasurable and not painful anal sex.) you can try having him bring you to an orgasm first for the first few times until you are more comfortable with it and relax easier. If you orgasm first, it relaxes your muscles and will allow him to pass the two sphincters that tighten up naturally when you are nervous and he is trying to penetrate you. These are what make anal sex painful if you rush. They need to relax and open so he can pass through, otherwise you will tear. Absolutely let him finger you first if you like that because that will help your body to relax as well and open up.
As for going slow, sorry, but you are going to have to initially. He will just need to restrain himself- it will be worth it for him a few minutes later. If he doesn't, you won't want to again. :P He may need to go in an inch and then slowly-not quickly- withdraw and then re-enter a little deeper, repeating as many times as necessary until it finally allows him all the way in. When I was first learning, I would often just have him stay inside and not move for a minute or two one he made it all the way in; sometimes if it was too intense just having him be there (It can be overwhelming at first- it's such a new and intense feeling, but in a good way), I would have him withdraw one more time and re-enter. It gets easier and easier. Start movements off slow once he is fully inside and soon (maybe a few minutes later) you will be come relaxed enough for him to go faster and faster.
When we first tried, I didn't know any of this so I kept trying to get it in as quick as possible and force it past the sphincters and I bled.. alot. I would do anal every few months because it hurt so bad but I knew he liked it so I said I did too... but I HATED it. I liked the idea of it but it hurt so bad!! I finally got fed up- I hated having to stop in the middle and be disappointing with something I knew he loved so much and I hated doing something that didn't feel good for me too so I went and researched everything I could find to make it better and easier. (FYI- playing with toys in there as well as fingers, if you have them/are into that helps too. And if you are worried about any mess, you can always use an enema to clean yourself out first.) I ended up figuring out how to do it properly and pretty soon, wow! It can be pretty incredible. Once in a while, we still need to start slow but he really can go as fast and hard as he likes a few minutes later. And it doesn't hurt at all. Most people never figure out how to do it properly, don't use nearly enough lube, and rush it... and then they quit forever because of the massive pain from being impatient. And what a shame! Tell him to go slow, and believe me- it will so be worth it for both of you. :)
Good luck!
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You wife doesn't feel comfortable getting close? Do mean to actually letting you have anal with her? If so, read my response below. If she knows that the proper technique will make it so it doesn't hurt at all and actually feels good, she might actually go for it. :) I really can feel just as girl for the lady as it does the man if done properly. Most people just don't know how to.
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