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Hello. I'm 23 year old male and I would like to hear more facts about anal sex. You see, I'm sexually active more then three years now and I have never tried anal sex with my girlfriend.
Just the other day I suggested her that maybe we should try this anal thing and she said that she’s willing to try but she will make no promises about the fact will she like it or nut. So, I tried to penetrate her anus a couple of times, using a lot of lubricants and I somehow succeeded but she didn’t like it at all. We talked about it after sex and she told me that for her, anal sex is nothing more then a rape. There is no pleasure involved, at least, for women. I respect that she told me all this, but, was she right? Is anal sex nothing more then a rape?

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The post you have written is rather interesting and I decided to contribute a bit to the idea of getting informed about this aspect of sexual experience.
You see, I also respect what your girlfriend told you because she is probably feeling like that after it and there is now reason why you shouldn’t believe her. Simply putted, some women are just not made to enjoy in it and that, for them, this could be a rape and nothing more. You shouldn’t force them to do it.
Of course that, women can enjoy in it because there are lot of nerve endings in the anus and anal sex is causing them some strange but pleasurable sensations. Even the idea that they are doing something nasty and forbidden could be enough for them to agreed doing it. But, like I said, some women just can't enjoy in it and they shouldn’t be forced to do it.
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There are many people who enjoy anal sex. It is obviously not rape unless it is forced on someone. She is telling you that she does not enjoy it and is not interested in doing it or tring it again. I think she is relating it to something so horrible as rape to make sure you understand that she does not like it.

Respect her and everything should be ok with you guys. Anal sex is not for everyone ;-)

Take care!
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Well thats not rape, rape is when u force someone to have sex with you. You talked to her about it and she said she was willing to try so u got her permission. Unless during the anal sex she said " this doesnt feel good Stop ur hurting me this " and u didnt stop then thats rape. And it doesn't feel good to some woman but to others it does. And usually teh first time its very painful and it doesn't feel good.
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sola is completly wrong. my b/f accedently hurt me once. and it wasnt rape. and it wasnt sex. most people make that mistake. Rape is a person that forces themselves on to another person. the most common rape is guy forcing a girl into sex.
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What I find interesting is the number of ppl that will take the time to post something they apparently know so very little about, why share bad advice....? Apparently your life is pretty lame. Anywho the deal with anal sex is kinda simple, if someone is opposed, fine, you cant change that, but if someone is open to trying it for the first time or even a second after a bad, painful experience, know how to proced!!

Essentially... if its never been included in sexual play of any kind, whether its actual intercourse or not, its natural to be fearful. Also, lets face it, some of our little boys arent all that interested in preparing their play grounds, but Stop... take a little time to secure some insurance before jumping in. The rectum is naturally tight, or we'd be leaking feces in lovely scented aromatics throughout our entire lives!! So....Begin with 'anal' toys... lubed fingers....be gentle, DONT HAVE HANG NAILS, its not that much trouble, it really isnt. Once small things, things smaller then a penis begin to feel comfortable and erotic and bring pleasure (which men, if done right can bring imense pleasure and insanely strong orgasms, even in you, if you begin slow) and slowly upgrade in the size of your toys, or use 2 fingers, etc. you'll have the secret to good anal play/sex.
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Definately NOT rape. I do know what she means though. I get no physical pleasure from anal sex. I find it uncomfortable. I do engage in it though as my husband really enjoys it. The first few times we did it, it did feel rape-like. Someone having sex with you and getting off while you are lieing there feeling uncomfortable and totally not turned on is what she is probably refering to when she compares it to rape.

Women have to have regular pelvic exams, and they are not pleasurable, just a part of life...Imagine however that when performing your pelvic exam, your Doctor was getting off on it..THis is the closest example I can think of for those who haven't been there.

Over time my attitude has changed. I pretend to enjoy it physically which really excites him. I in turn get turned on by his excitement, so I no longer feel the "rape-like" experience that i used to.
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Anal sex isn't for everyone. you have to be open to the experience to try it and like it. it's not a bad thing, just something new to try. my husband is always down for anal but he usualy never asks me. it's up to me to tell him when and where to put it. i will talk dirty to him and he gets all excited. i have to have something in my vagina though to keep my mind off of him entering me from behing. if he tries to put his penis in without vibrator in my vagina it hurts more. i just have to have it in for the first two minutes or so and then i can take it out.

i enjoy it and so does he. we are very content with one another and will take the chance to spice up our sex life. if you don't like that's fine. but don't knock the people who are willing to go there for a new experience.
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Anal sex is generally considered taboo as is most sexually activity that doesn't involve penis in vagina. Most people don't really discuss their sexual activities in the bedroom and what little people know about other activities is a lot of the time based on bad information.

If you want to have anal sex with your g/f do your homework. Buy a book that BOTH of you can read about it. I highly recommend:

"Anal Sex for couples: A guaranteed guide to painless pleasure"
and
"The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women 2nd Edition"

For anal sex: Start slow. Have lots of foreplay. There is a lot of bad stigma about playing with the anus and this can make her uncomfortable from the start. Get a SMALL vibrating sextoy (that is also narrow.. about a forefinger's width) to use on her there to start. When you go down on her play with her anus with the toy. This will help her to associate positive things about her anus and anal play with you and sensual activity. Working with her slowly and doing other sensuous activities will help her get rid of bad associations. You may need to work for a month or two at this before you actually have anal sex and have her be comfortable. Also having her play with herself while you play with her anus is good too. Remember though if the toy or your fingers go in her anus then they shouldn't go in her vagina until they have been cleaned. This will help to avoid her getting a yeast infection or a bladder infection.

Next lube: always remember LUBE LUBE and MORE LUBE. Now personally I think lube is the biggest "mistake" that beginners make. You have to find the right lube. Lube meant for and is great for vaginal sex is not necessarily great for anal sex. You need to have a lube that coats well and does not dry easily or get sticky. There are alot of anal lubes on the market. Some are good and alot are not. Unfortunately it usually means that you will have to experiment with them to figure out what you like. Don't use desensitizers like AnalEase. They are bad. Try lubes like Adam & Eve's Anal Lube, Slippery Stuff Gel, Wet Platinum (not the regular Wet), or even Vasaline (although not necessarily recommend as there are lubes that can be bought that are better.. you can try mixing Johnsons baby oil and vasaline together and this may be a little better lube for anal sex/play than just vasaline).

Remember anal sex should be painless. If there is pain you are rushing it or something is wrong. You may just need to play longer. Especially if you are a guy with a penis that has wider girth. You can try toys that will gradually over time stretch her out a bit so that once you do eventually start anal sex you can fit inside or her easier. If she is not aroused then anal sex will not go well.
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Just to let you know that homosexuality i defined (laymans terms) 2 people of he same sex. Anal sex is not just a homosexual thing but something 1/3 of the population experiences. obviously theres risks but theres risks with EVERYTHING! Anal has alot of plus sides as well (besides the great sensational feeling) it provides sex alternatives, lower risks to certain things ie pregnancy and etc.

i might just be a doctor but iam going to diagnosis you with a "tight ass" if you cant accept people sex choices....

now shove that up your ass!



sola wrote:

Anal sex is not natural. Why would a man who claims to be straight want to do homosexual acts with a woman? Obviously it is rape if you are hurting your girlfriend. It is also very risky. Anal sex has the highest health risks of any kind of sex because of the bacteria and the bleeding combination.

lishe wrote:


Hello. I'm 23 year old male and I would like to hear more facts about anal sex. You see, I'm sexually active more then three years now and I have never tried anal sex with my girlfriend.
Just the other day I suggested her that maybe we should try this anal thing and she said that she’s willing to try but she will make no promises about the fact will she like it or nut. So, I tried to penetrate her anus a couple of times, using a lot of lubricants and I somehow succeeded but she didn’t like it at all. We talked about it after sex and she told me that for her, anal sex is nothing more then a rape. There is no pleasure involved, at least, for women. I respect that she told me all this, but, was she right? Is anal sex nothing more then a rape?

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I haven't read through all the other posts but I just thought I'd give my 2 cents.

1. Rape is a violent act performed against someone who doesn't want to be involved. If consensual, anal sex isn't rape. By the terms you described (if I'm understanding correctly)... any kind of sex that wasn't pleasurable to the woman would be considered rape? That's a bit extreme.

2. Anal sex is not gay. It's not meant for just man on man. Many woman enjoy it as well.

3. It's something you just have to try. Many woman have bad first experiences and warn others "never try it..." That is the worst advice to give anyone and the worst advice to receive. And, honestly, I think ANYONE who does it correctly can find it enjoyable to a certain extent.

4. More intense orgasms... every time I've done it I've had incredibly intense orgasms. I NEEDED my clit rubbed at the same time though, otherwise it wasn't as intense.

5. Start slowly. If you're going to try it, start with pushing a few fingers in first until you go to actual penetration. Use lube.

Those are the first few things that came to mind.
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Most women do not like it because they are not really built for this. The anus is designed to be an exit not an entrance. Oddly enough if a man has anal sex and takes a penis into his rectum many men enjoy it but that is because they have a prostate there that can be stimulated and excited during the act. Women do not have prostates to help them become aroused during the act. So most women do not enjoy anal sex because it causes pain and not real pleasure...this is an anatomy issue more than anything things else. Very few women like this act. If you really desire anal sex and being the one to give it try doing it with a man. You will most likely have a more positive result. Men seem to be able to get more from this act whether they are taking it or giving it. If you are open minded enough to try anal sex than why not be open minded enough to have a bisexual experience? You might enjoy it.
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if the woman reaches orgasm before you try to penetrate, she is more relaxed which makes her more likely to enjoy and make her enjoy again. =)
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    I have long ago thought and wrote, that anal "intercourse" is nothing else, than rape. I have been living with my wife for 25 years and is sure, such a feat is worthy of a prostitutes. But I never went to them. It is abuse for a girl(a woman), whatever she (or he) thinks about it. Thank you!
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Health Ace
6520 posts
guest,

that was totaly uncalled for!! this is a forum to help others not throw out rude sexist false comments.

please get off this site if you have nothing positive to say or have any questinos you need answered
thanks
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