I'm 19, and I waited to loose my virginity at 18. My goal was to wait til I was 18 (legally an adult) and in a serious relationship. And I was. I was very much in love with the guy, and it happened about a month into the relationship. He was about 5 years older then me. It was a very rocky relationship, and although we are good friends now it didn't end too well.
I'm in a relationship now, been with the guy for a month and care for him very much but I don't want to have sex until about 4 or 5 months go by. I'm really scared for some reason.
Just about 2 weeks before I got with him, I was hanging out with an ex and we messed around some and even though I told him no sex from the start he put it in anyways. I was too scared and in disbelief to say anything during and felt so used after. It was the worse feeling, and I told him I would never speak to him again.
I'm very sensitive, and to me messing around holds no appeal. In the past I did, (not sex of course) but I didn't have a problem. But now unless I'm in a relationship with the guy it seems meaningless. I want to build a bond and know that they care about me and arn't just after one thing. I know the difference between loving and commited sex versus loveless and semi forced sex.
And I'm the type that craves closeness and love, I could never be the type of girl who looses her virginity young and goes out having casual sex with guys and friends or guys I had been dating a week.
My boyfriend and I haven't even gone past 2nd base yet.
I just fear...I mean, I know I'm not a virgin, I've had sex with one guy (I don't count the ass hole) yet I seem to of become more prude since I lost my virginity. Messing around randomly repulses me and I want something serious before I make that leap.
And also, even though I'm on the birth control shot and have always had irregular periods all my life and I'm positive my boyfriend is clean since I'm the furthest he's gone with a girl, I get scared at the thought of sex. I think that I will all of a sudden become pregnant right after or get a disease even though I'm protected. I want it and crave sex, but the thought of it scares me.
What's wrong with me? When me and my boyfriend finally do it, I want it to be good. I don't want to feel bad after or be scared!
I'm in a relationship now, been with the guy for a month and care for him very much but I don't want to have sex until about 4 or 5 months go by. I'm really scared for some reason.
Just about 2 weeks before I got with him, I was hanging out with an ex and we messed around some and even though I told him no sex from the start he put it in anyways. I was too scared and in disbelief to say anything during and felt so used after. It was the worse feeling, and I told him I would never speak to him again.
I'm very sensitive, and to me messing around holds no appeal. In the past I did, (not sex of course) but I didn't have a problem. But now unless I'm in a relationship with the guy it seems meaningless. I want to build a bond and know that they care about me and arn't just after one thing. I know the difference between loving and commited sex versus loveless and semi forced sex.
And I'm the type that craves closeness and love, I could never be the type of girl who looses her virginity young and goes out having casual sex with guys and friends or guys I had been dating a week.
My boyfriend and I haven't even gone past 2nd base yet.
I just fear...I mean, I know I'm not a virgin, I've had sex with one guy (I don't count the ass hole) yet I seem to of become more prude since I lost my virginity. Messing around randomly repulses me and I want something serious before I make that leap.
And also, even though I'm on the birth control shot and have always had irregular periods all my life and I'm positive my boyfriend is clean since I'm the furthest he's gone with a girl, I get scared at the thought of sex. I think that I will all of a sudden become pregnant right after or get a disease even though I'm protected. I want it and crave sex, but the thought of it scares me.
What's wrong with me? When me and my boyfriend finally do it, I want it to be good. I don't want to feel bad after or be scared!
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Hon you are doing the right thing. What ever you do, don't let any guy pressure you into having sex. You have to go with your heart and if that tells you to wait, then do what it says.
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if all women came into their marraige a virgin? It doesn't work that way.
You say you were in love with this first boy. You were following your heart by letting him be your first lover. That is fine. Love is a beautiful thing especially if it is with that certain man.
As far as the mistake you made with the man you shall call (ass hole!!LOL)
Forget about it. You made a mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds like he took advantage of your vulnerability and sensitivity. Just chalk it up to a bad headache.
Wanting closeness and love and warmth in a relationship is very important. There are many big burly guys out there who crave the same thing. Don't settle. Stand your ground and stay firm. If this guy your with now really cares he will stick around, for sure. If you are on your birth control, don't worry. You say he is clean, maybe yes, but i am a real freak about condoms. When the time comes, just think about added protection. There are so many nasty diseases out there, and some are real hard to cure.
You want sex, you crave sex, go for it....When the time is right for both of you. You will know. This guy you are with must know that you are not easy as you have not let him get past second base. Cool...
So relax, stay on your BC, get to be more comfortable with him and it will happen. And i'm sure it will be good for you. Go into it with the love in your heart that you feel for him. Have fun.. 8)
Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing if all women came into their marraige a virgin? It doesn't work that way.
You say you were in love with this first boy. You were following your heart by letting him be your first lover. That is fine. Love is a beautiful thing especially if it is with that certain man.
As far as the mistake you made with the man you shall call (ass hole!!LOL)
Forget about it. You made a mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it. It sounds like he took advantage of your vulnerability and sensitivity. Just chalk it up to a bad headache.
Wanting closeness and love and warmth in a relationship is very important. There are many big burly guys out there who crave the same thing. Don't settle. Stand your ground and stay firm. If this guy your with now really cares he will stick around, for sure. If you are on your birth control, don't worry. You say he is clean, maybe yes, but i am a real freak about condoms. When the time comes, just think about added protection. There are so many nasty diseases out there, and some are real hard to cure.
You want sex, you crave sex, go for it....When the time is right for both of you. You will know. This guy you are with must know that you are not easy as you have not let him get past second base. Cool...
So relax, stay on your BC, get to be more comfortable with him and it will happen. And i'm sure it will be good for you. Go into it with the love in your heart that you feel for him. Have fun.. 8)
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Thank you very much! That helped alot.
And yeah, that ass hole I had dated a year ago and I had thought he was the only good guy in my life. For a whole year I wondered what if with him and always wanted to be with him. But after what he did to me, I saw him for what he really was. And I was completly turned off of ever wanting to be with him again. Therefore I was able to let go of any past relations I had and put all of my hear and effort towards this new guy.
I love how I feel with him. It's so pure and true, and he says he's never felt this way with a girl before. And I sure hope he sticks around. HE'S a virgin, so he doesn't mind waiting. Were waiting another week before we go to oral. It was actually HIS decision to wait that extra week.
So I feel good about it. The past 2 days, all we've even done is kiss. It's nice. He just holds me, and we talk alot about our future and many other things. Today we went out for desert and he took me job hunting.
I could get used to this=) All my life I've been used to guys that have either been jerks, abused me, used me, or have only wanted one thing and have left or manipulated me and left me scared.
I have a very bad past with guys, so when a good thing comes along I 2nd guess it and get scared. Try to find faults in it, because I can tell when I'm falling and I don't want to drop and get hurt again. Because I feel I may not be able to pick myself up again.
Guys is the one thing that truely affects me the most.
But wanting to be in the FBI, and major in Psych, and being a writer, you begin to learn how to read people. I can tell this guy is genuine, he's innocent, and a little naieve. I like that. Because that's how I am.
And I love that he's not afraid to act himself, and even be sweet and sensitive around his friends. I've put him through many tests. With my SWAT training and shooting lessons, being a cop is a job for me because I feel I can't trust many people in this world, and its hard for me to trust people with my heart. Yet I always wear my heart on my sleeve and end up getting hurt in the end.
I feel good with this guy, no 2nd thoughts. I just pray for once that I can be happy, and that it will last! I deserve it.
And yeah, that ass hole I had dated a year ago and I had thought he was the only good guy in my life. For a whole year I wondered what if with him and always wanted to be with him. But after what he did to me, I saw him for what he really was. And I was completly turned off of ever wanting to be with him again. Therefore I was able to let go of any past relations I had and put all of my hear and effort towards this new guy.
I love how I feel with him. It's so pure and true, and he says he's never felt this way with a girl before. And I sure hope he sticks around. HE'S a virgin, so he doesn't mind waiting. Were waiting another week before we go to oral. It was actually HIS decision to wait that extra week.
So I feel good about it. The past 2 days, all we've even done is kiss. It's nice. He just holds me, and we talk alot about our future and many other things. Today we went out for desert and he took me job hunting.
I could get used to this=) All my life I've been used to guys that have either been jerks, abused me, used me, or have only wanted one thing and have left or manipulated me and left me scared.
I have a very bad past with guys, so when a good thing comes along I 2nd guess it and get scared. Try to find faults in it, because I can tell when I'm falling and I don't want to drop and get hurt again. Because I feel I may not be able to pick myself up again.
Guys is the one thing that truely affects me the most.
But wanting to be in the FBI, and major in Psych, and being a writer, you begin to learn how to read people. I can tell this guy is genuine, he's innocent, and a little naieve. I like that. Because that's how I am.
And I love that he's not afraid to act himself, and even be sweet and sensitive around his friends. I've put him through many tests. With my SWAT training and shooting lessons, being a cop is a job for me because I feel I can't trust many people in this world, and its hard for me to trust people with my heart. Yet I always wear my heart on my sleeve and end up getting hurt in the end.
I feel good with this guy, no 2nd thoughts. I just pray for once that I can be happy, and that it will last! I deserve it.
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I'm glad i could help. He sounds like a real nice man. Relax, take it slow and have fun with it. Maybe this is Mr. Right!!! He is a virgin :-D :-D :-D How cool is that :-S
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