Hi guys. First time posting here. Ever since I started having sex I've had this problem and I'm sick of it slowing poisoning all my relationships. Thought I'd see if anyone else has had the same thing and found the solution to it. I'll warn that I'm going to be really blunt here because being subtle leads to too much confusion.

I'm a 23 year old bisexual male, primarily sub/bot, have been sexually active since 14.

Every partner I've been with has had this same issue. Whenever I do anything sexual with someone else I just can't get off. I seem to lose all sensation, everything becomes this numb warmth sort of feeling. At first I thought I was either gay or dedicated submissive, but it's happened with guys and in situations where the other person has been in control, too.

The only times it hasn't happened was once with a girl who was just rubbing through my pants while sitting behind me, and once with a guy who was grinding against me from behind. Both fairly submissive but as I said I've had other times being submissive where I felt nothing. The other weird thing is that in those situations I got off super quickly and easily, but in other cases I've gone for hours having sex with nothing.

Both were at their house, and one was someone I'd met recently, so it's not a trust/comfort issue. I've had primarily clothed sex in other cases too, not that. One male and one female, not sexuality. Not a lack of sensitivity, masturbation works fine. And I've never heard of someone only getting off when their partner is behind them.

Any input at all is really appreciated. I generally have a good understanding of my psychology and reasoning but this is driving me crazy.