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I have not had my period for over a month now. Granted i am still young and my body will still prevent me from having a moderate and on-time period like many older women, but i am worried.

For the past 4 months, my childhood friend and i have been having sexual intercourse. Out of all of our encounters, we have had both protected and unprotected sex. He has always pulled out and has taken a shower both before and after, as i have. When we had had sex, it would vary between days or sometimes weeks apart depending on our schedules and my period.

We are very open with one another and last week i told him that we should stop having sex until my period comes or until i am ready to take a pregnancy test. We are commited to not having sex for 4 weeks from today. To help prevent this, we are sleeping in opposite rooms and being more active than usual with our jobs and our community.

Our parents are not aware of this. However, his mother knows that we have had sexual intercourse before. Since both he and i have a year left of school, we do not want to interfere with our future in education and careers. He plans to join the military when we are out of school and I plan on attending Med School. We both have graduated early and attend an academy which focuses on different majors. We are very responsible people. However, this time we have done something wrong.

We don't know what to do, who to talk to, or what to think about this situation. Any outside help would be a complete blessing. His family and mine are very close and as i had previously mentioned we have grown up together so there will be support from all areas if i am, in fact, pregnant. The only thing i am worried about honestly would be conception before marriage, financial issues, and disappointed parents.

Please help us.

Thank you for reading this if you took the time to do so.

I am very worried.


It is quite NORMAL to have unregular periods BEFORE you have your first baby. And STRESS, of course; can unregulate your periods even if you have always had them on schedule.

You can't go back & change whatever has happened. However, you can learn from it. If you are not pregnant, just simply take a look at where you are....... ask yourself if you are ready to become a mother?? If not, you need to take actions to prevent it.

However, if you find that you are already pregnant, then; you'll have a very big decision to make. Adoption, Abortion, or Raise him or her yourself.

Adoption may be difficult to think about. However, think about the tons of healthy couples looking to adopt healthy babies who cannot have any children of their own. Adopting couples also have to go through a battery of tests: they have their financial records looked at closely, they have to go through home studies, their backgrounds are thoroughly checked out, & their health is also checked out. Every aspect of their lives is put under a microscope for a time. Hopefully, this will ease your mind.

Abortion..... it's been called the easy out. But is it, really?? Maybe some guy started the "easy out" phrase for it....... after all, it IS easy; for the guy, anyway.

These aren't just "words", by the way........ I know, I lived it for many years!!! I just hope that this information from CareNet will help!!

Abortion May Increase the Risk of Emotional Problems
Some women experience strong negative emotions after abortion. Sometimes this occurs within days and sometimes it happens after many years. This psychological response is known as Post-Abortion Stress (PAS). Several factors that increase the risk of Post-Abortion Stress include: the woman's age, the abortion circumstances, the stage of pregnancy at which the abortion occurs, and the woman's religious beliefs.

Common emotions after abortion can happen immediately or years afterwards

Flashbacks of Abortion
Sexual Dysfunction
Relationship Problems
Eating Disorders
Alcohol and Drug Abuse
Psychological Reactions
Suicidal Thoughts
Anniversary Grief

There's also physical problems........ that myself, I have found to date back to the time when I had my abortion.

Learn About Abortion Procedures and Abortion Risks

Abortion is not just a simple medical procedure. For many women, it is a life changing event with significant physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences. Most women who struggle with past abortions say that they wish they had been told all of the facts about abortion and its risks.

Our trained consultants are available 24/7 to answer your questions about abortion and to connect you to local help. Call 1-800-395-HELP or e-mail us as at all hours. You can also read the information below to learn more about abortion procedures and the risks associated with abortion.

Abortion Procedures
Manual Vacuum Aspiration: up to 7 weeks after last menstrual period (LMP)
This surgical abortion is done early in the pregnancy up until 7 weeks after the woman's last menstrual period. A long, thin tube is inserted into the uterus. A large syringe is attached to the tube and the embryo is suctioned out.

Suction Curettage: between 6 to 14 weeks after LMP
This is the most common surgical abortion procedure. Because the baby is larger, the doctor must first stretch open the cervix using metal rods. Opening the cervix may be painful, so local or general anesthesia is typically needed. After the cervix is stretched open, the doctor inserts a hard plastic tube into the uterus, then connects this tube to a suction machine. The suction pulls the fetus' body apart and out of the uterus. The doctor may also use a loop-shaped knife called a curette to scrape the fetus and fetal parts out of the uterus. (The doctor may refer to the fetus and fetal parts as the “products of conception.”).

Dilation and Evacuation (D&E): between 13 to 24 weeks after LMP
This surgical abortion is done during the second trimester of pregnancy. At this point in pregnancy, the fetus is too large to be broken up by suction alone and will not pass through the suction tubing. In this procedure, the cervix must be opened wider than in a first trimester abortion. This is done by inserting numerous thin rods made of seaweed a day or two before the abortion. Once the cervix is stretched open the doctor pulls out the fetal parts with forceps. The fetus' skull is crushed to ease removal. A sharp tool (called a curette) is also used to scrape out the contents of the uterus, removing any remaining tissue.

Dilation and Extraction (D&X) (partial-birth abortion): from 20 weeks after LMP to full-term
This procedure takes three days. During the first two days, the cervix is stretched open using thin rods made of seaweed, and medication is given for pain. On the third day, the abortion doctor uses ultrasound to locate the legs of the fetus. Grasping a leg with forceps, the doctor delivers the fetus up to the head. Next, scissors are inserted into the base of the skull to create an opening. A suction catheter is placed into the opening to remove the brain. The skull collapses and the fetus is removed.

RU486, Mifepristone (Abortion Pill) Within 4 to 7 weeks after LMP
This drug is only approved for use in women up to the 49th day after their last menstrual period. The procedure usually requires three office visits. On the first visit, the woman is given pills to cause the death of the embryo. Two days later, if the abortion has not occurred, she is given a second drug which causes cramps to expel the embryo. The last visit is to determine if the procedure has been completed. RU486 will not work in the case of an ectopic pregnancy. This is a potentially life-threatening condition in which the embryo lodges outside the uterus, usually in the fallopian tube.
If an ectopic pregnancy is not diagnosed early, the tube may burst, causing internal bleeding and in some cases, the death of the woman.

Consider the Risks of Abortion
Side effects may occur with induced abortion, whether surgical or by pill. These include abdominal pain and cramping, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Abortion also carries the risk of significant complications such as bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. Serious complications occur in less than 1 out of 100 early abortions and in about 1 out of every 50 later abortions. Complications may include:

Heavy Bleeding - Some bleeding after abortion is normal. However, if the cervix is torn or the uterus is punctured, there is a risk of severe bleeding known as hemorrhaging. When this happens, a blood transfusion may be required. Severe bleeding is also a risk with the use of RU486. One in 100 women who use RU486 require surgery to stop the bleeding.

Infection – Infection can develop from the insertion of medical instruments into the uterus, or from fetal parts that are mistakenly left inside (known as an incomplete abortion). A pelvic infection may lead to persistent fever over several days and extended hospitalization. It can also cause scarring of the pelvic organs.

Incomplete Abortion - Some fetal parts may be mistakenly left inside after the abortion. Bleeding and infection may result.

Sepsis – A number of RU486 or mifepristone users have died as a result of sepsis (total body infection).

Anesthesia – Complications from general anesthesia used during abortion surgery may result in convulsions, heart attack, and in extreme cases, death. It also increases the risk of other serious complications by two and a half times.

Damage to the Cervix - The cervix may be cut, torn, or damaged by abortion instruments. This can cause excessive bleeding that requires surgical repair.

Scarring of the Uterine Lining – Suction tubing, curettes, and other abortion instruments may cause permanent scarring of the uterine lining.

Perforation of the Uterus - The uterus may be punctured or torn by abortion instruments. The risk of this complication increases with the length of the pregnancy. If this occurs, major surgery may be required, including removal of the uterus (known as a hysterectomy).

Damage to Internal Organs - When the uterus is punctured or torn, there is also a risk that damage will occur to nearby organs such as the bowel and bladder.

Death - In extreme cases, other physical complications from abortion including excessive bleeding, infection, organ damage from a perforated uterus, and adverse reactions to anesthesia may lead to death. This complication is rare, but is real.

Consider Other Risks of Abortion
Abortion and Preterm Birth:
Women who undergo one or more induced abortions carry a significantly increased risk of delivering prematurely in the future. Premature delivery is associated with higher rates of cerebral palsy, as well as other complications of prematurity (brain, respiratory, bowel, and eye problems).

Abortion and Breast Cancer:
Medical experts are still researching and debating the linkage between abortion and breast cancer. Here are some important facts:

Carrying your first pregnancy to full term gives protection against breast cancer. Choosing abortion causes loss of that protection.

A number of reliable studies have concluded that there may be a link between abortion and the later development of breast cancer.
A 1994 study in the Journal of the National Cancer Institute found: “Among women who had been pregnant at least once, the risk of breast cancer in those who had experienced an induced abortion was 50% higher than among other women.”

Emotional and Psychological Impact:
There is evidence that abortion is associated with a decrease in both emotional and physical health. For some women these negative emotions may be very strong, and can appear within days or after many years. This psychological response is a form of post-traumatic stress disorder. Some of the symptoms are:

Eating disorders
Relationship problems
Flashbacks of abortion
Suicidal thoughts
Sexual dysfunction
Alcohol and drug abuse
Spiritual Consequences
People have different understandings of God. Whatever your present beliefs may be, there is a spiritual side to abortion that deserves to be considered. Having an abortion may affect more than just your body and your mind -- it may have an impact on your relationship with God. What is God's desire for you in this situation? How does God see your unborn child? These are important questions to consider.

Explore Your Options
You have the legal right to choose the outcome of your pregnancy. But real empowerment comes when you find the resources and inner strength necessary to make your best choice. Here are some other options.

Choosing to continue your pregnancy and to parent is very challenging. But with the support of caring people, parenting classes, and other resources, many women find the help they need to make this choice.

You may decide to place your child for adoption. Each year over 50,000 women in America make this choice. This loving decision is often made by women who first thought abortion was their only way out.

Help Is Available
Facing an unexpected pregnancy can seem overwhelming. That is why knowing where to go for help is important. Talk to someone you can trust - your partner, your parents, a pastor, a priest or perhaps a good friend. Also, the caring people at your pregnancy center are available to help you through this difficult time. To find a pregnancy center near you, call 1-800-395-HELP.

Note: Our network of participating pregnancy centers offers peer counseling and accurate information about all pregnancy options; however, these centers do not offer or directly refer for abortion services.

Easy Out?? Just ask those of us who have been through it. Abortion is far from an easy way out.

Raising your baby isn't easy, but it is an option. One that you may wish to look at very closely, as well. Will your parents help you financially support your baby?? Diapers, formula, health insurance, clothing, toys........ It is hard to watch your child grow up without the things that he or she needs. As a mother, I definately can tell you that.

And I'm definately not the norm. As I have been through abortion, I've began to raise my 2 children & after my heart breaking from seeing them go without, I placed them with an adoptive family. At times, none of these were easy.

However, the WORST part; was the years I spent depressed to the point of suicide attempts not knowing what was wrong until I finally had to face the abortion I had many years ago. In fact, that abortion tore my life apart in many ways. This is why I am as PRO-LIFE as one can get!!

This is definately not about telling you what to do. I know that if you find out that you are pregnant, I know exactly where you are!!! I've been there. Scared, confused, not knowing what to do....... everyone is trying to make decisions for you........... YOU have to decide what works for you. No one else can do that for you. I simply hope that you understand the long-term consequences of abortion BEFORE you even think about stepping into an abortion clinic.

And as far as my children that I placed with an adoptive family....... I know they are well taken care of. And, I find comfort in that.

I have found PEACE at last after having an abortion, but it didn't come without a huge price tag. Though I will never find comfort in it.