Post Abortion feelings of Depression, Grief, Feelings of Loss, Sadness, Avoiding others

Hello I had an abortion just last friday. I don't think i can get through this. I cant breathe my heart is crushed I made the wrong decision and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't know how to get through this. My husband is great trying to be there for me. I am just so sad. Please I don't know what to do....

Hi Crystal,

I am terribly sorry for not getting back sooner, my husband was in Iraq and some things came up. How are you doing? How are you feeling? It is absolutely a blessing that your husband is there to help you out?

Have you thought about any counseling? They have post abortion recovery counseling that is no cost, and it really has a HUGE impact on your life. Keep your chin up. Please post me and let me know what is going on.



Hizgrace

Hi Crystal…

For what ever it’s worth, it’s a good thing you’re feeling these things now and you can immediately go to a psychiatrist. People say it helps so it’s worth a try.

I had an abortion about 19 years ago and just now all my feelings are surfacing. I’m having similar feelings as you are and will look into talking to someone this week.
I suppressed my feelings for so long that all of the sudden now I’m going on an emotional roller coaster that I cannot control an can barely deal with.

I wish you the best luck

i met him 4 years ago, we clicked straight away. He was 4 yrs younger than me and at first we were just friends. i never thought about him in that way but everyone else kept saying how perfect we were for each other. B has issues and i really tried to help him. His dad is gay and dresses up as a woman and this really affects him but he could talk about it with me (to a point, he pushes anything bad to the back of his mind as if it never happened). At one point he even thought he could be gay and was too scared to tell anyone but he told me and i tried to support him all i could. That all passed and then one night out of the blue he told me he liked me and had always done since we first met but didn't want to ruin what we had. I was shocked but decided that we should try because we got on so well. It was strange for about a week but then it felt completely natural. We got on so well and had a really good relationship. After a while when i thought i could be pregnant he was really good about it and we got a test and he just hugged me all night. He made it perfectly clear he didn't want this baby because he was too young (21) and still had to go back to university for another year. He said maybe in a year or two this could be a good thing. I wasn't sure what i wanted to do but in the end we made a decision (after him telling me it would be unfair if i brought a child into the world that he didn't want and who would want me if i had a child). We went to the clinic and it was strange because we were so in love. I had to wait for the proceedure because i had a holiday booked to thailand with my friends for 2weeks. whilst i was away i noticed the change in him(he had never wanted me to go on the holiday without him). He got arrested and lost his driving lisence (drink driving), lost his job and became distant. when i got back he broke up with me the night before the abortion saying that he needed to be on his own for a while, he stayed the night and we slept together. He said he wanted to stay friends because he wanted me in his life, i said i didn't know if that was possible because we had crossed the friend barrier. He came to the clinic the next day and was holding my hand and putting his arm around me. he was meant to stay with me for 24hrs to make sure i was ok but when i got home he said he couldn't stay it was too difficult. I told him he could go because i didn't want to force him to stay. I got really sick that night and felt completely alone, i texted him and asked him to help, called him, emailed him - no reply. He called 2 days later (after my friend called him and told him she was worried about me) and i asked him to come over because i wasn't coping he told me to stop wallowing and start moving on. This wasn't the person i knew. I told him i needed him to be there and he refused saying that what was he supposed to do put his life on hold for me! I felt so let down. I did send him some messages asking how he thought it was ok to treat me like this, He then told me to leave him alone because he had started to move on. I found out that he had been cheating on me and is now with this person. I was in hospital with an infection (seriously ill) and he didn't even ask if i was ok. I just feel completely used - he knew how hard this was for me to do and i'm the one suffering whilst he gets away without feeling anything. I lost someone i was in love with, a best friend and a baby all in 24hrs. He has been so mean to me saying that he doesn't owe me anything. All i needed was an apology for not being there. I am not coping with this at all and can't stop crying, i just feel like i don't want to be here anymore.