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I am currently 24 years old. I recently had a medicine abortion (This past Sautrday to be exact). I think that it is going to turn out to be the worst mistake I have ever made in my whole llife. I was 8 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of 18 months. We have an apartment together and talk about the future. I was on the pill and we had no intentions of having a baby for years to come. I am a nurse working full time and also going to school part time to further my nursing degree. He has a job that has wonderful benefits but only pays enough to get by week to week. Overall I am financially stable while he is no where close to being. He is not is school. I had never even wanted kids in the beginning. I had been through a bad divorce a few years ago ending with him getting someone else pregnant. Since that point I had no idea if I even wanted to be a mom. Then I found out I was pregnant. I went to the doctor had the ultra sound and all was well. I was carrying a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat. I left the office with a due date and a picture. I had said since the beginnning that I wanted the baby that I did not want to have an abortion, in fact it went against everything I had ever stood for. But he insisted since the moment he found out that we just were not ready right now and that we had forever...I went back and forth with him over it ... One day I would say ok lets just do it and get it over with then the next I would be crying my eyes out saying I could never kill my baby... Even the night before I went we had a huge fight I slept on the couch most of the night screaming crying I told him I was having the baby and I did not care what he thought anymore... Then the next morning I got up and told him it was his call if we went of not still hoping that he would say no I love you lets keep the baby... But that did not happen he was up and dressed and we were out the door before I even knew what was happening... We traveled to another town and I paid the money and was called back. He was not allowed to go back with me which really bothered me I wanted him to have to experience as much as possible what I was going through... Scheduled to have the surgical procedure, I switched to the medicine abortion after finding out I was able to. I took the first pill there and was sent home with 4 pills to take the next morning. The first day I had no signs nor any symptoms. Then after taking the pills the next day all was hell. Never in my life have I ever experienced so much pain and horro in my life. I was so sick from the medication. The bleeding started less than an hour after taking the medication... By the 4th hour I was begging just to die ... All I wanted was it to be over and done ... I never thought it would be that bad... The doctor told me it would be nothing more than a few blood clots and that I would not even be able to tell what it was coming out... That was a lie... I could pin point the exact time the baby came out of me... I don't think anything will ever compare to that exact moment and time of my life.... I lost it from that point on... All I do is cry nonstop all day every day... I dont know how to cope or if I ever will be able to cope... I dont think me and my boyfriend will be able to overcome this. I hate him and I resent him... I am so mad I don't know how to deal... He tells me everyday to please not to push him away but I don't know how... I will blame him for this forever... I know in the end it was my desicion but it would of never even been an option in my mind. I told him that I didn't think we would be able to survive this before doing it that I would never be able to forgive and now after it I truely don't think I will be able too... Everytime I look in the mirror I want to punch myself in the face... I hate myself for what I have done and I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done...

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hi. i no xactly how ur feeling. i had an abortion 4 weeks ago this tuesday. the 4th may. i hate myself so much! i feel like th worst person in th world! i already have a 2 year old daughter and although i wanted th baby my boyfriend didnt think we could afford it. i lft it until i was 15 weeeks b4 seeing doc about abortion as i hoped and prayed he would change his mind. i have done nothing but cry. its gettin less tears but they r still there. i have had depression since having my daughter and ths has just sent me so far down i dont no how to get bk up. we both done something which will stay with us for th rest of our lives and i'm not saying forget about it but try. i didnt sleep more than an hour th first week. didnt eat. felt dead nside. have u spoke to doc bowt councelling? i have my first session next week which i am nt looking forward to as i dt no if i will b able to talk about it! hope u can get thru this
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ive recently had an abortion and at the time i thought it was the right thing. now, i totally regret it. its on my mind 24/7, i feel upset, empty and basically a totally different person. im not even sleeping and im someone who can fall asleep anywhere...even the cinema lol. i have spoke to my bf about it but he doesnt really understand what im going through and to the extent of how i feel. and now my mate is pregnant and keeping it, it just adds to it all.

how did your counselling go? im considering going but im not sure if i will be able to open up to someone i have never met before.
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hi, councelling was really hard. it was first time i'd spoke about it and i basically sat and sobbed for an hour but it actually flet good to be able to menton it out loud instead of on a computer as i havent told any friends or anything. i no wot u mean aout sleeping,i'm usually in bed y 8/9pm once my daughter is asleep but for th 1st 2 weeks after abortion i was havng maybe an hour a night, i was like a walkig zombie. i still deeply regret it and think i always will. also, about ur bf, i'm th same, its as if he's forgotten about it. it was 5 weeks ago 2day and i kep looking at clock thinkin what i was doing at this tym. whereas he just either forgot it or is very good at hidin his feelings! how far on were u wen u had abortion? i was 17 weeks and i'd had a scan at 12 weeks and still have pic. i keep lookin at it n breakin down. i no i shud get rid of it as it just makes it harder but its my memory of th baby i killed if u no wot mean. hope ur well and i suggest u get councelling
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Hello, i know what your going through...this is my story. i have PCOS and its hard for me to concieve, ive been with the same guy for 7 years. im 23 years old and my med abortion by d&c was 06/17/2010. When i told my bf, he was angry and told me he couldnt deal with it right now he already has two kids hes not around and he has allot of mental issues. i love him so much and he basically talked me into it saying im young i have allot ahead of me and basically told me i would be a single mom if i went though it. I was 6 weeks when terminating and it was the hardest thing i had to deal with. i think about the baby everyday, how it would feel look likeetc... even though after it was done i felt a sense of relief i also in the back of my mind new it was wrong, i was like you. ive been agaisnt abortion my whole life. I am a christain and im having a battle with myself. Im so lost and i dont know how to feel, i havnt delt with it i guess. Im still with the same guy , and he hasnt talked about it to muvh but he is having trouble after as well. Please if you want to talk or if anyone has any questions my email is . Email me im here to talk. its been almost a month now and its going but i know it will take time!


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I'm sorry that you guys are going through it. It must be horrible that you were forced to it. However, what's done is done and it was probably for the best. You could not raise a child in an environment where he was not completely wanted. It would be really hard for you, thus you could not be a great mother....It's time to forgive yourself and take the precautions to never have to do it again. If you resent your boyfriend for it, if you think you are not on the same page when it comes to pregnancy, maybe he is not the best mate for you.
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I completely understand the pain, the confusion, the hurt, regret, etc. Years ago when I had my 1st abortion I was the same way. It was 2004 and I had just delivered our baby girl and we were engaged fresh out of high school living with mom and dad, trying to save for a place and etc. The Dr told us that 6 wks was a time to really stay away from each other but I guess we couldnt. I found out I was pregnant at my 6 wks checkup and he was furious. I had mixed emotions. I grew up in a christian home so abortion just wasnt an option but with him it was different. After a few weeks he came to be ok with having another one. Though sooner or later we HAD to tell his folks and mine cause they were helping out ALOT and so needed to know. We took his mom out to breakfast, I remember like yesterday, We kinda eased it on her. We actually were joyful relaying the good news to her and she drop her fork slamming against the plate. She pushed the food away and said, youre kiddng me right! and we didnt answer her just looking at each other. She said " this cant happen! You just had a baby and dont even have a place to live. I will make some phone calls asap and i will pay for everything" I was floored!!!!! He told her that wasnt an option and she demanded it was. Since then I think i have lost all respect for my mother in law. He was mad that she mentioned it and we dropped the whole thing and left the restaurant immediately. Not speaking to her for days she would call me and softly talk me into it and I felt that i had to so I eventually went through with the aweful procedure behind his back with her. She didnt want him to know. She lied to him coming up with some excuse that we were shopping or whatever. When I got back I was in my room curled up in pain crying he walked in and just knew right away what had happened. He was mad at first and even cried with me but after i was still crying about it for weeks later he told me" you did it! Get over it and go back t work" and we split shortly after cause i felt like i was cornered with his mom the way she is. Thoughwe are married now! Things are different! We've done put her in her place sort of speak haha But i do apologize for the suffering it is very common in abortions so know that you are not alone! Couselling is available and does work for some. God bless!
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anonymous wrote:

Hello...

I am currently 24 years old. I recently had a medicine abortion (This past Sautrday to be exact). I think that it is going to turn out to be the worst mistake I have ever made in my whole llife. I was 8 weeks pregnant by my boyfriend of 18 months. We have an apartment together and talk about the future. I was on the pill and we had no intentions of having a baby for years to come. I am a nurse working full time and also going to school part time to further my nursing degree. He has a job that has wonderful benefits but only pays enough to get by week to week. Overall I am financially stable while he is no where close to being. He is not is school. I had never even wanted kids in the beginning. I had been through a bad divorce a few years ago ending with him getting someone else pregnant. Since that point I had no idea if I even wanted to be a mom. Then I found out I was pregnant. I went to the doctor had the ultra sound and all was well. I was carrying a healthy baby with a strong heartbeat. I left the office with a due date and a picture. I had said since the beginnning that I wanted the baby that I did not want to have an abortion, in fact it went against everything I had ever stood for. But he insisted since the moment he found out that we just were not ready right now and that we had forever...I went back and forth with him over it ... One day I would say ok lets just do it and get it over with then the next I would be crying my eyes out saying I could never kill my baby... Even the night before I went we had a huge fight I slept on the couch most of the night screaming crying I told him I was having the baby and I did not care what he thought anymore... Then the next morning I got up and told him it was his call if we went of not still hoping that he would say no I love you lets keep the baby... But that did not happen he was up and dressed and we were out the door before I even knew what was happening... We traveled to another town and I paid the money and was called back. He was not allowed to go back with me which really bothered me I wanted him to have to experience as much as possible what I was going through... Scheduled to have the surgical procedure, I switched to the medicine abortion after finding out I was able to. I took the first pill there and was sent home with 4 pills to take the next morning. The first day I had no signs nor any symptoms. Then after taking the pills the next day all was hell. Never in my life have I ever experienced so much pain and horro in my life. I was so sick from the medication. The bleeding started less than an hour after taking the medication... By the 4th hour I was begging just to die ... All I wanted was it to be over and done ... I never thought it would be that bad... The doctor told me it would be nothing more than a few blood clots and that I would not even be able to tell what it was coming out... That was a lie... I could pin point the exact time the baby came out of me... I don't think anything will ever compare to that exact moment and time of my life.... I lost it from that point on... All I do is cry nonstop all day every day... I dont know how to cope or if I ever will be able to cope... I dont think me and my boyfriend will be able to overcome this. I hate him and I resent him... I am so mad I don't know how to deal... He tells me everyday to please not to push him away but I don't know how... I will blame him for this forever... I know in the end it was my desicion but it would of never even been an option in my mind. I told him that I didn't think we would be able to survive this before doing it that I would never be able to forgive and now after it I truely don't think I will be able too... Everytime I look in the mirror I want to punch myself in the face... I hate myself for what I have done and I will never be able to forgive myself for what I have done...

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I'm male, 47, happily married. We never wanted or tried to have children. That said, I offer this although I am obviously "not in the club" as either a parent or one who exercised "choice". That indeed was a choice, albeit a terrible one. Accept that you bought into the cold science of the debate and "ended" a pregnancy. You know that you killed your child - it cannot be sugar-coated. But guess what? Jesus Christ already paid for your decision; the price was his life when you - all of us really - deserved nothing. Test me on this! Try the counseling, medications, books, websites, etc. When MAN has failed you - and he will - Jesus stands waiting with forgiveness and restoration that is... already yours.

Is such a posting "offensive" or off-limits? Is mentioning the one sure and everlasting source of rest and completeness wrong? Then I am wrong - remove this if you must. But to those who have read it - be sure that Jesus is for real and represents that missing piece inside of us all. Drugs, Fame, Money and Sex - all are false gods. Try the real one - the loving and forgiving one who, as almighty as he is - will never FORCE you to choose him. It is this simple - and this hard. You chose once; now choose again - it is not too late!
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Hey, I am 22 years old, I was pregnant on october 1st 2009 and had an abortion 27th october, i chose to do so as i was in my final year of university, the father was just a casual fling but he wanted me to keep the child... I was in total shock when I found out because believe it or not i never thought i could get pregnant with all the careless slip up on a consistant basis!

I was very anti children and felt that if face with this situation abortion would definately be the option. I had a long think and decided to keep it, i told my mother who broke down and told me to think carefully about my choice but she would support me regardless... seeing my mothers tears broke me and i just knew i couldnt do it to her.... from that day forward I decided to abort... mentally I blocked out the previous thoughts of keeping it!

the day of the abortion was ok I went there and saw a few ppl who all looked normal to me, i went on with the procedure and the last thing i heard was count to 100 and then i woke up and it was over, i burst into tears and the first thing i said to the nurse was "will i be able to have children again?" and she assured me i would... all those normal people i saw before now looked lost with tears in their eyes.

I was fine afterwards but every now and again i would be sad not knowing why... it took 3 weeks later when i realised the root of my sadness i was grieving the death of my child! it hit me hard, I cried day in and day out... im from a religious background and the guilt knowing that i murdered GODs creation my child...

I waited till I graduated to seek counselling and it was tough it got worse before it got better... I lost a lot of weight because I was depressed and not hungry, I drank excessively, I isolated myself and layed in bed all day... I did get better I felt like I was moving on!

September 27th 2010 I woke up in the middle of the night crying because I thought I'd forgotten the day I killed my baby and realised that I was a month early but since that day i've sank back into the depression... who says it gets easier? My heart is completely empty, i refuse to be sexual or to be close to any guy! all I want is my baby, s/he would have been 5 months old now...

I want to scream, I want to fly away, I feel suicidal, I'm thinking of experimenting with cocaine to escape this horrible world! why dont they tell you that it doesn't get better?

I just want someone out there to read this and think twice before having an abortion!
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I just want to say it is not easy to go through this i went and had an abortion on aug 18 2005 and i have never went a day where i don't think about my baby. I was 20 1/2 weeks . i remember not wanting meds and every feeling that went on, i cried cause i didn't want to do what i did the babys fathers mother waited at my door step for over an hour while i tried to stay away cause i didn't want to go to the appt now my best friend is marrying the guy i hate her so much to do what she is because he told me he would kill himself if i didn't do it now i feel like i died with that baby. I do have 3 wonderful kids but i still am missing one!! Don't every have an abortion if you dont think it out first cause you will feel worse after you do it if it wasn't what you wanted. :-(
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Hi there. I have been reading your posts and I my heart goes out to you. I have never been in such a situation as you guys, but I have to say that it sounds like a scary situation to be in.

I would advice all of you to consider contacting a charity called Rachel's Vineyard. The weblink for the UK is http://www.rachelsvineyard.org.uk/ but if you're living somewhere else, then just google 'rachel's vineyard' and you may find a centre near you, such as in the USA or other countries too. There is also a charity called Abortion Recovery Care and helpline: www.archtrust.org.uk

Both are meant to be really helpful for women going through abortions. Do have look and i hope that you will come to experience the healing and peace that Christ offers us all.
Have a blessed life.
God bless :-)
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anonymous wrote:

Hi there. I have been reading your posts and I my heart goes out to you. I have never been in such a situation as you guys, but I have to say that it sounds like a scary situation to be in.

I would advice all of you to consider contacting a charity called Rachel's Vineyard. The weblink for the UK is http://www.rachelsvineyard.org.uk/ but if you're living somewhere else, then just google 'rachel's vineyard' and you may find a centre near you, such as in the USA or other countries too. There is also a charity called Abortion Recovery Care and helpline: www.archtrust.org.uk

Both are meant to be really helpful for women going through abortions. Do have look and i hope that you will come to experience the healing and peace that Christ offers us all.
Have a blessed life.
God bless :)



Thank you so much for these websites I will make contact, thank you
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:oops:

I am 26 years old, I had a Medical Abortion back on 1/29/11 and it has been the hardest thing for me to deal with I don't think I have ever in my life regretted something as much as I have this. It was a unplanned pregnancy on both ends but once I found out I was pregnant I was extemely overjoyed and excited.. I already have a 5 year old daughter so I figured this was perfect time to have another baby. Due to my surprise the other 1/2 not being supportive and very hurtful with his choice of words I opted to get the abortion... It has been by far the worst choice I've ever had to make I just keep playing back me sitting in the clinic speaking with the Dr and him asking was this my choice and did I understand all that he was explaining to me and that once I swallowed that 1st pill there was no turning back... Some people don't understand how even after you take this route to end a pregnancy it still effects you day after day.. It's now hard for me to be around babies or even be around pregnant woman I'm guessing due to this being very fresh in all. My point being never get an abortion b/c the other 1/2 is not supportive or doesnt want you to get it, it's something we as females we will have to live with for the rest of our lives all of the What "if's"......... I pray that I could turn back the hands of time but unfortunately thats not possible...
I have found this site to be very helpful with me dealing with my anger and emotions not everyone can understand how much you or I have experienced some ppl look at it is as if we made the choice and that its time to move on and get over it my response is if only it were the easy I would have bounced back weeks ago.....
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I really need some help I had an abortion 2 years ago jan 15 2009 I was 16 and the boyfriend I was with was not good at all he was abusive and was into bad things we dated for 2 years but it was a destructive cycle we cheated on each other when I found out I was pregnant I did not want to tell my mom he told her out of spite and I left my house to live with him my mother was very unsupportive we didn't speak for a month and it was really hard. We had decided we were going to keep the baby but one day he came home and started to name all the cons and how we wouldn't be able to support the baby I was convinced into having an abortion. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time and I still remember everything about it. It was one thing that will forever be imprinted in my head. It does get better I cry sometimes when I get reminded and hear songs it was hard to go through with it. But I can truly say it was the best choice I wouldn't have been able to raise a child with him he was crazy. I do regret it but in a way I feel it was the best thing for everyone. My relationship with my mother is amazing now. I have recently found out I am pregnant again. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and he's an amazing guy. I just feel he's very immature and not in the mindframe to have a child. He claims he is but I feel he isn't. I had an abortion booked for this wed jan 25 2012 and I could not go through with it I left crying and called my mother and told her. She is convincing me to have it but I don't feel ready to have a child I'm in my first year of uni and I have so many plans for myself I work 2 jobs and I've worked hard to be where I am today. My boyfriend wants me to have the baby as well. But I don't know if I'm ready for that commitment I'm 19 years old and I have my whole life ahead of me. I'm really confused and I don't know if I could go through with another abortion I'm 9 weeks. I grew up without my father and I always said I wouldn't raise my child alone but I don't know if I'm ready to commit to him for the rest of my life. I'm really confused I need someones advice please help
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