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I had a surgical abortion 2 weeks ago. My spouse knew about the procedure and went with me for the surgery. The other day I saw that he was looking at porn on the internet. I know it's normal for a guy to do but I was upset and hurt that he was doing that considering our situation. Maybe I'm asking too much for him not to do that during this time? We obviously can't have sex for a little longer, and to be honest I'm not even ready to be thinking about it. I understand his "needs" but I wanted him to be more sensitive and compassionate to me. My emotions are way off whack and I am still having a difficult time being at "peace" with the last few weeks happenings. Just need some insight/thoughts on the situation. Currently I am not speaking to him and I feel a lot of anger and resentment. Again, I know I have a lot of internal things right now and the last thing I want is to make him my "human punching bag". I hate being upset and would like to resolve this with him soon.


Hi honey! 1st of all BIG HUGS! For your loss! 2nd men are tactile and visual, we are all about hearing and thinking! When men are stressed the one thing that relieves them more is porn and or sex? Even though we are both sexual beings, the man rules in that department! IF we are upset we want to snuggle, and be touched tenderly! IF they are , they want a quick one - sorry for being vulgar!

You are still dealing with the upset, not to mention the hormones! So you want to be handled with care! He is dealing with the upset, and lack of knowledge how to release that, and so he turns to something - that is NOT about you or even sex - it's about releasing that pent up upset!

I don't know if you have children, BUT when little kids get upset, they grab their privates - it's a primal thing! A basica comfort thing! So this is the same for your husband, he just can't grab himself in public, he can watch porn till the cows come home! Doesn't really take away that feeling of guilt and upset! Just helps it a little! So don't take it personal OK? I know that's harder than just aying it! But know that I went through something VERY similar and BLEW my stack! And found out later - why! So talk about your feelings!