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Hi...My Name's Melissa...I have never posted in this section until now, I never had any reason too before.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and ahalf. I'm 22, he is 23. We always got along great, we did all sort of fun things, we would go away and have a blast. We love each other, and we truly meant it.

We both have good families, my parents are still together, yet his have been divorced for a few years.

We had an exceptionaly happy relationship, we were doing great, we loved each other so much. I would see him about 3 days a week, maybe more, maybe less. We normally always spend most of the weekends together. But he had his things and I had mine, we always had our own things to attend to as well.

Our Sex Life was excellent, we did it all the time and randomly, we never had to plan anything...it just happened, both of us were very comfortable with each other, it was great.

We talked about the future, and about our lives together. WE had full intentions on moving in together about 1.5 months ago....and this is when this started.

Right after we started looking at apartments, I noticed a bit of a change in my boyfriend, we was stressed more and started smoking more, even though he has been trying to quit. One night while laying in bed, I asked him whats wrong, and he told me he just isn't sure he is ready to move in with each other, he just wants to get everything undercontrol for himself as in money issues and see what another month brings, He doesn't have much dept, just behind in a couple bills. It happens and I helped him out after that. Just to let him know I'm here. He appreciated it.

So then we never brought it up again, and that was fine with me.

....3 weeks ago, We were together at his place, just relaxing. But that whole weekend I noticed something was wrong, When sitting or laying on the couch, his hands were kept to himself...never had we been sitting on the couch and he wasn't touching me, or holding my hand. He was distant, and I could see it in his eyes. I let it be, thinking it was just a rough week. That night, we just laid in bed, no sex no nothing...It hurt me that he was so distant, So I started to cry, and kept it to myself. Not wanting him to see me like that.

The next morning, We were drinking our coffee, and muffin for breakfast, and I lay my head on his lap, I look up at him, and see this distance I have never seen before, it started worrying me, I just craved his touch, I would touch his arms, legs and everything, hoping for something back, but he just couldn't. I started to cry, and he seen me. And asked whats wrong, all I could say was I didn't know, because I truly couldn't....This is when he broke down. He said he is scared, he is nervous, his has been having these thoughts that he doesn't know how to explain. Never in his life has he ever felt like wanting to be alone, he just wants to be alone....He told me to give him a couple days and let him think it over and give him some time. I agreed, I was exceptionally upset, I chose to leave.....I didn't handle it good, I was freaking out, sleeping was out of the question.

The next morning I got a call from him asking how I was doing, I couldn't hold it together, and told him...I got to work, but thats the extent of me being ok. He told me he loved me, and he would call me later.

That night, I got a call from him telling me he is very sorry, he shouldn't have said the things he did, he doesn't know whats wrong. I came over to his place the following day, and just let things go easily. I came over to his place that following weekend, and things were better, but not the same. And he knew it, I knew it....I was so emotional, he could see the tears and my face. It was hard on me, not knowing...

This weekend.....Friday we got together, and we had some drinks, we talked about everything, we sat and talked for hours. We then decided to go out, we stayed out until 2, and came back to his place. I had to get up and head to work. I was supposed to be going home out with my sister that night...I called my boyfriend as I was leaving work, and I could here the apprehension in his voice, he needed me...he needed to tell me something, so I cancelled with my Sister, and once he asked me to come over, I came right away.

I got to his place, he was watching his TV, and looking completely miserable. Awful. We sat there, I layed on the couch with my legs on his lap, but soon after, he grabbed me hand ever so gently and pulled me up to him. I sat cuddled beside him, and could litterly feel him shake, we sat like that for about 10 minutes, In this time, he had grabbed a beer (he had already had one, I could smell it) he had had one ciggerate and another in his hand, he was exceptionally nervous. He has never, ever since I have been dating him smoked one in the apartment. Once he lit that smoke, I was in tears...Something was seriously wrong. I asked why, and he put it out and looked at me. He Said "Baby, Melissa...I have to leave you, This is too hard on you" I got defensive asking why, and asking if it was another girl, or something. But he kept saying no. I Trust this man with anything, my life our realtionship. Everything.He wouldn't cheat on me, I know that but I was scared. He said he doesn't know whats going on in his mind, he is scared, he is distant All he wants to do is be alone.....And its scaring him. He said he doesn't and can't see me going through this. All I want to do is make him talk to me....After some crying and holding and telling me he is making the biggest mistake of his life. He then told me he has booked an appointment with a phsyciotrist for Monday After noon, he booked this on Thursday. Which scares me even more, for my loving caring man to go to such lengths, there is something wrong....and he and I both know it. He thinsg it might be bipolar, I have done some research and the things add up.

What do I do? Last night was awful, I talked to my sister...I want him to know I'm here for him, I told him I will wait through anything for him, I don't know if he should be doing this alone? What can I do?

-I'm sorry....I'm ranting, I just need some advice!

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Health Ace
6514 posts
hey there,

it could be bi-polar but it could be a host of other things as well.... let him go to the psychologist and see what they say. perhaps they can give him some trial medication to see if that helps...... please let me know what you guys find out.

and this may seem like an odd question but is your boyfriend religious at all?
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hi,

thanks for the reply.

He is not religious, at all. I'm not much either...what are you thinking by asking that question?

melissa
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Health Ace
6514 posts
hey idk sometimes spirits/demonds/bad entities can attach themselves to people/posess people.

has he ever experimented or played around with Wicca, witchcraft/occult or ouji boards??

this stuff is a HUGE STREACH which is why i wanted to see what the psycologist had to say first. there are many reasons for your boyfriends behavior/feelings including depression which can happen for no apparent reason.

but yea thats why i was wondering about the religion topic.
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nope, none of the above. nothing at all like that.

Melissa
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User avatar
Health Ace
6514 posts
yea i would wait and see what the doctor has to say then get back to me..... i know this must be really hard on both of you but im confident that things will get figured out ;-)
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i wouldNT leave him alone. (my mom is bipolar) it can lead to depression, and that can lead to your bf hurting hisself or tryn to kill his self because he feels alone or sad. u need to tell him that you will be there for him and really do it. maybe go to the doctor with him and see what they will tell u to do to help him. BUT KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON HIM SO HE DNT DO NUN CRAZY TO HIS SELF OR OTHERS
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