Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!

My situation is complicated. I'm 22 & I was engaged to a great guy I had been with for over 5 years. We were to be married this past June. The months leading up to it were so stressful and I didn't think I could spend the rest of my life with somebody with so many annoying traits (traits that I miss now-they weren't that annoying afterall). Well I was an st*pid and cheated on him with this lowlife that has no job, no license, etc. The week I was supposed to be on my honeymoon, I got pregnant to the lowlife. I didn't realize this until 7 weeks later when I was in a motorcycle wreck.

I decided to have an abortion, which will take place this week, and it has been the hardest decision in my life. I miss my ex and I should be carrying his baby inside me, not some piece of trash. I guess I am hoping for a 2nd chance with him and by getting rid of this 'problem' will help me do that. I couldn't in good concise have this baby & rely on my parents. I have had a history of depression before this happened which I know doesn't help my choice making but now, I feel this is the best choice. The father is totally against the idea and has had his friends threatening me not to go through with it-which is only making my situation harder. I was brought up in the church & believe in God but this situation could have and should have been prevented. It was a st*pid mistake on both our parts. My parents have offered to take the baby & raise it themselves but I couldn't put that burdan on them.

I have never been so scared, frustrated, depressed or lonely in my life.

Loading...

1st of all honey! BIG HUGS! 2nd I watch people and listen to them, I've done this ALL my life! I find people fascinating and they follow patterns! There isn't such thing as a mistake! A mistake is a product of a negative decision! So this is what i see about your situation OK? Bare with me!

1. You were engaged BUT couldn't see yourself with this guy for life! So that ended - even though it was a normal relationship with it's quirks and irritations etc. It wasn't what you wanted OR NEEDED!

2. So after being in a relationship for almost 6 years, you decided to throw caution to the wind, and go out and try what you have seen your friends do for the last couple of years! Unfortunately you made a decision to have sex with someone with NO future!

3. You became pregnant from that decision or impulse, and NOW you look at the "father" and your ex! In 2 totally different lights! Your ex - with rose colored glasses (ANY woman or man that has split from a pretty decent person, will ALWAYS look at that relationship and think of it better than it actually was) And the "error" in a negative light, because that decision has now put you in a terrible predicament! so obviously no good can come from that?!

4. there is NO such thing as "Getting rid of the problem" Because no matter what you WILL have feelings and regrets about EVERYTHING that has happened! Right now you are in REGRET MODE! You think of your 6 year relationship with regret, you look at this "one night stand" with regret, you look at the baby with regret, you see your future with regret! And you think that having an aboriton is going to make everything right! It isn't!

I am a pro-choice advocate, and I believe it is EVERY womans right to choose - because we do not walk in her shoes! And I don't walk in yours, BUT once again I am looking at the person! And what I see is someone that is confused and is grasping for someone to agree with her! Your parents don't agree, your "loser" doesn't, and now you are coming on a website for someone to help you decide and feel better! Having an aboriton is NOT going to change your past honey, it is NOT going to get rid of the reasons why you called off the wedding! And there is an old saying "IF you are arguing about the toothpaste, it's NOT about the toothpaste!" Which in your case, you breaking up with him was NOT about his "Annoying traits" I'll eat my hat if you walking away had to do with him having to have all the herb labels facing forward, or sucking his teeth etc. It's MORE than that! So you need to come to a point of understanding about exactly WHY you walked away! And there probably shouldn't be a 2nd chance with this relationship! Your guilt will eat you alive with it! And you will be settling for something you didn't want to settle for when you weren't in a regret situation!

You aren't going to like what I have to say next, BUT I do NOT think you want an abortion, and I do NOT think you should have one! The reason is this, you are NOT alone, you WILL have help - your parents! And IF this l*ser actually stops and grows up, he might surprise you - if he doesn't it is irrelevant! You HAVE that support that SO many women and young girls do NOT have! IF you were 14/15 I would say "YES" BUT you are an adult, and just because you have been lost for awhile, doesn't mean that a baby will keep on making you feel lost! I believe that a baby just might help you find yourself and your actual truth!

Talk to your parents DEEPLY and honestly! And SEE if it can be done! IF it can't there is your answer! These lovely people are SO desperate for you NOT to have an abortion, they are willing to raise it! That says alot! So why not raise this baby ALL together, with you being his/her mom!?

Don't put your past on this baby honey! think of the future - WITHOUT the past dirtying up the waters OK? If that makes sense! What I 'm saying is this, your negative decisions in the past, should not keep you in the past, you need to make a clean slate and look at your situation with new eyes, and a more positive and open outlook! Hope this helps! Whatever your decision, I wish you peace of mind and soul! And just entrust in yourself that you are doing this for the BEST! Good luck honey!
Reply

Loading...

im almost sure that no one will read this but i have to speak my mind. Reconsider abortion and consider adoption. Im 30 now and was adopted by a wonderful family. Adoption in my opinion should be a choice for u unless your life is at risk. If your ex fiance really loved you he would stick by you 100% in any choice u make. I had a girlfriend once that i loved dearly that during a breif seperation became pregnant and almost terminated it before even speaking to me. I convinced her to give the child up for adoption and she did. That little girl is now 12. Even though me and my ex didnt work out in the end(other personal problems that we decided where just too much to over come and insted became great friends) she still thanks me from time to time saying "if i had done it i would never have forgiven myself" please to all women thinking that abortion is a good alternative to having a child without it being a medical neededed think your choice through. I think daily what if my biological mother chose differently. Again im just an anonomus voice but let that voice ring in your mind before making an final choices. Abortion is the termination of a life dont forget that and life should not be terminated lightly! Again thank you for your time and please understand i do believe in your choice of what to do with your body. I just believe that abortion really isnt the best way unless its medically needed.


Mike
Reply

Loading...