Hi everyone, I would like to share with you my success of being clean of all drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. I started doing hard drugs at the age of 13yrs old cocaine, acid, marijuana etc. I was young and very naive I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I went to raves every weekend and my parents weren't really around, so I was able to do whatever I wanted. Actually to be honest my mom is a lesbian and her girlfriend at the time had given me my first line of cocaine so I could help her clean out our old apartment. My mom never found out I was doing drugs, I was a decent student and never caused any trouble so why would she think anything bad of me? I was always kind of a outcast in my family my sisters and I were never close and my brothers were older and didn't live with us. I liked being alone when I was at home and I was most of the time. My sisters were into hip hop and I wasn't I liked rock and raves and did drugs socially until I was 19 yrs old. I quit only because I started doing oxycontin (along with many other drugs) and my ex fiance was addicted. He started to change into a junky even though he came from a wealthy family his parents gave him 10k and said this is all you get go and live your life and don't ask for anything more. I was supporting him at this time and I was a dancer, so I was making really good money. I didn't realize how bad he was until I was coming home at 2:30 in the morning from work and he would be nodding out on the sofa with a cigarette in his hand, or on the floor and he was so f**ked up that he couldn't speak correctly he slurred every word he said. We had a talk and I told him he had to quit. I already wasn't doing it anymore I was always working and he was always at home jobless and upset that he would never be able to make as much money as I would. Eventually he started cheating on me and I left him. We got back together, but I didn't move back in I offered to pay for him to go to a place where he could detox and get better he agreed, but we never got that far. I came over one night and he lied to me about being f**ked up and that is when I realized he had no intention of quitting. I had to let him go along with everyone I knew in order to get out of the drug scene. I stopped going to raves, I got my own place, I didn't call or talk to anyone I knew who was into drugs and the rave scene and still don't to this day.

I met a new guy who I have been with for several years now and he has a lot of health issues and doesn't do any kind of drug and has no desire to do them even if his health was good. He is a great guy and he keeps my mind off it. I don't miss my past at all. I realize now what a real relationship and a real life is like. I feel like my whole past was fake like everyone in it was only there because thats where the drugs were. If I didn't have or do drugs then none of those people including my ex would have been my friend and I would have been better off. I feel like I have wasted my entire childhood and made so many bad decisions and never really knew what it was like to live and have fun without something fogging my memory and altering my morals. It is too bad that we can't undo the past because knowing now what I wish I knew then I would have never gone down that path, but it has made me who I am today and my focus now is to stay healthy and help my boyfriend with all of his health issues. I look at my body now and am grateful to be healthy and I know there are people out there who aren't so lucky, so I am going to treat my body better and not poison it with drugs and alcohol and anything else.

I know for some people out there like my ex who just don't think they can quit and it's painful and the cold sweats and the stomach cramps and the desire to just have one little line or one hit just to make the pain go away it is not the way to quit. You need to put yourself in a place where there is no desire for it and there isn't someone you can just call to bring you over some. You need to cut yourself off from the world of drugs, friends who are associated with drugs and even family if they aren't helping you quit then they don't need to be in your life if you are trying to start fresh, then you need to cut all ties with your past drug life or there will always be something or someone who will pull you back into it. Good luck to all those in the process of being sober again. Trust me there is a lot of life out there and you will have a better one sober.