ROCD on and off birth control. I became very emotional and irritable on the pill

Hello, was wondering how many other females have gone through something similar to my situation. Let me start off my saying I’m 1 year off birth control and I truly believe that BC made all of this happen. When I started birth control I started to feel “weird” about my relationship about 2 weeks later. If I can remember correctly I think that’s when my first ROCD thought occurred. I remember thinking, “do I miss him” as I was on vacation with my family and I thought it was so weird because I would always miss him when I went away. During the 2 months on birth control I would have occasional thoughts I remember saying to a friend, “is it weird that I don’t want to see him today” I remember really thinking these thoughts were weird. I became very emotional and irritable on the pill so I decided to just stop taking them one day. It was about a month off the pill when I got struck with such bad anxiety and depression. Something was telling me I need to break up with my boyfriend but the thought of that really scared me and made me so sick. I didn’t get out of bed for a week, barely ate and only wanted to sleep. I felt like sleeping was the only way to escape all of this. After that one week everything seemed to get slightly better. I still had the thoughts though just not as bad. So now we are, a year later with the same thoughts. “Do I love him” “is he the one” “am I too young” “is he attractive” “is he holding me back from things” “do I want to be with him” “do I miss him” ALL of these terrible thoughts. YES, I have good days where I feel like I love him but no I do not feel the same way I used to before birth control. Has any dealt with this, please let me know!!!