sex with condom problem

in the majority of cases where a man is fine at climaxing alone but cant seem to when he is having sex, the cause of the problem is psychological. anxiety about your performance, or what your partner thinks of you, nervous about having sex etc. masturbation and sex are two completely different situations!

If you feel the condoms are desensitizing you, you might like to try condoms with sensual lubrications that tingle or warm up when you wear them, you can buy them in most stores, or possibly "natural fit" condoms which are thinner. Do NOT be tempted to have unprotected sex though!!!!

Depending on how much you masturbate, if you are doing it multiple times every single day it might be decreasing your sex drive or wearing you out, so you can always try not masturbating for a while, and seeing if it helps you.

thanks for the advice helpisontheway, your right it could be im thinking way too much and worrying about about my performance.
The thing about condoms is that i buy the trojan spermicide cuz we know we can trust them and we want what ever can kill the sperm.

I'v actually havent masturbated or had sex with my girlfriend since either monday or tuesday and i thought that maby i do masturbate so i decided to not masturbate till the next time we have sex and see if it works.

no problem, good luck!

Spermicide can have a numbing effect in some people. Also, you could put a drop of water-based, not oil-based, lube in the condom. You could try masterbating with a condom on to see if the psychological bearier is with the condom. If it's with the condom, I suggest trying different condoms or simply getting her to use birth control(yeah, tough battle). If the problem is with your girlfriend, I suggest trying communication/variety of sex/personal evalution of "what YOU want in life" and, failing those, a different girlfriend. I finally ended up going with the last choice and it's been working great for a year now.

I was in your exact position/age a whopping two years ago. I found I could stay harder longer if I stopped caring so much about my partner's critique of my performance. After two months of poor communication, we had our first argument... then we had sex. I couldn't tell you *exactly* why we had sex. But it was the best sex she or I have ever had.

I'm not really sure what makes a relationship last. But sex seems to prolong its agony. -_-

for what it's worth, i am 32, married, sexually active and i feel your pain. i have never been able to have 'great sex' with a condom. my success rate at actually finishing the job and cumming before losing interest with a condom is like 1%. i've done it only a few times. i do not have erectile dysfunction either... at all, i have a really healthy sex life. so... to put it bluntly i just have never been able to sustain an erection and deliver with a condom... not now or not when i was sixteen and with my then girlfriend. it just doesn't feel nearly the same as natural sex.