im twenty three and my gf is 24 we are in a lesbian relationship for 2 1/2yrs now. at first we were always having sexual incounters but more than half way through my sex drive dropped thru the floor. she has a very high sex drive nd i couldnt accomadate to that. so we stop having as much sex. so now she and i are having bedroom problems i can orgasm just fine but she cant at all having sex with me but she uses a vibrator and orgasms just fine. We are trying to figure out the case of our problem. Is it me for making her change her sex drive from what she was use to. We are being very open about this and are trying ways to find ways to fix this. Do you have any suggestions please.
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I have enough negativity in my life and as I do recall judge not and u won't b judge. God is the only one that passing judgement on his people so take your comment and whatever else you would like to say and just keep them to yourself. I am not ashamed of who I am you might have a problem with yourself but I'm fine I love myself and her.
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I think orgasms come more from the mind than from the actual physical act you are doing. You really have to be into wanting the other person to make you come or it's not going to happen without a lot of difficulty anyway.
Don't be upset with her for this because she probably dislikes it as much as you, but I think it's her mental reaction because you wanted to slow down on the sex.
I have found that any negative statements or suggestions about sex from my wife seem to have a very cooling effect on my sex drive and/or performance. As an example, we could be watching something on TV that was turning me on so I was certainly going to be on her like drool on a baby when we got into bed. Then she would say something like "what a waste of film" referring to such "dirty" stuff on TV and that cured me of any desire for that night and probably quite a few nights to come. I'm talking about normal network TV not porn.
I loved giving her oral and she certainly enjoyed receiving it while it was happening but she somehow made me feel she thought it was "dirty" and that reduced the frequency of me doing that for her until I just stopped altogether. I miss that a lot because I really enjoyed doing that. The taste and feeling of all her little bits and pieces in my mouth and on my lips and tongue and sticking my tongue inside her vagina would give me an orgasm without needing to have my penis touched at all. The fact that I could orgasm with my penis just hanging in the air is another reason why I feel orgasms are mostly creations of the mind. Which was good because she refuses to touch that "thing" anyway.
Maybe if you just initiate having sex with her more often or when she's not expecting it, you can reverse the situation. Maybe without discussing this with her would help too. I think there are some things that work better if you DON'T discuss them. Showing your physical desire for her may work better than talking about it.
My wife never wanted to get on top but I would absolutely love to have a girl on top of me. If she was to do that now I probably wouldn't be turned on by it because it would feel as though I was making her do it and that would turn me off. If you can understand that.
Don't be upset with her for this because she probably dislikes it as much as you, but I think it's her mental reaction because you wanted to slow down on the sex.
I have found that any negative statements or suggestions about sex from my wife seem to have a very cooling effect on my sex drive and/or performance. As an example, we could be watching something on TV that was turning me on so I was certainly going to be on her like drool on a baby when we got into bed. Then she would say something like "what a waste of film" referring to such "dirty" stuff on TV and that cured me of any desire for that night and probably quite a few nights to come. I'm talking about normal network TV not porn.
I loved giving her oral and she certainly enjoyed receiving it while it was happening but she somehow made me feel she thought it was "dirty" and that reduced the frequency of me doing that for her until I just stopped altogether. I miss that a lot because I really enjoyed doing that. The taste and feeling of all her little bits and pieces in my mouth and on my lips and tongue and sticking my tongue inside her vagina would give me an orgasm without needing to have my penis touched at all. The fact that I could orgasm with my penis just hanging in the air is another reason why I feel orgasms are mostly creations of the mind. Which was good because she refuses to touch that "thing" anyway.
Maybe if you just initiate having sex with her more often or when she's not expecting it, you can reverse the situation. Maybe without discussing this with her would help too. I think there are some things that work better if you DON'T discuss them. Showing your physical desire for her may work better than talking about it.
My wife never wanted to get on top but I would absolutely love to have a girl on top of me. If she was to do that now I probably wouldn't be turned on by it because it would feel as though I was making her do it and that would turn me off. If you can understand that.
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