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My parents are both 80 years old. Dad has always been very stubborn and mom has always let dad have his way. Dad is now doing things that are dangerous for his health and well-being, but mom only complains and worries about him. My mother is extremely stressed, cannot sleep and is losing weight worring over dad. Example: Dad is deaf in one ear. He sleeps with headphones every night to listen to his music. It is an addiction. Mom worries he will choke himself in his sleep but she won't take the headphones off of him. Dad will not budge. Every morining I stop at 5:30 a.m. to check in on them before going to work. I've told my mother to be assertive, but she won't. How can I help them, when one doesn't listen and the other won't do anything to remedy the situation?

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I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I don't think there is anything you can do. You can't change anyone. You may attempt to persuade, compromise, and use other compassionate tactics. Try that if you haven't.

Maybe you can try to convince your father to play the music very softly on a stereo or laptop or anything like that. Voice your concerns and why you want him to do that.
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