I felt like I was reading my own story after reading your post. I suffered from BPD from my young teenage years up into my early 20's, but I'm extremely glad and proud to say that with the combination of adderall and xanax, taken as prescribed, has led me to find great happiness, success, love, laughter, and joy. By the age of 23 I managed to establish myself as a very successful digital strategist and graphic designer. I was able to find love and build strong relationships with friends and family, that had at one time been non-existent.
Therefore, I know for a fact that these medications have saved my life in so many ways and I'm forever grateful to have found myself and live a truly beautiful life. So to those who have opinionated remarks or comments regarding BPD drug treatment, don't underestimate the power of a medication that can and truly WILL help you.
Personally, I don't agree with anti-depressants and I feel they tend to cause more harm than good. My psychiatrist explained how adderall has places my BPD under control and that it is often used to treat severe depression caused by everyday life stresses to BPD.
These are why these drugs exist, to help people, to guide people, but most importantly to save people. Don't ever give up, find the right doctor, do your research, and fight for the life you deserve!
-A
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I have BPD. Nurotins and zoloft work for me but Caution with adderall it tends to leave you frustrated more ocd and more compulsive ready to snap ! I was on adderall for many years that lefte with nerve damage in my hands and my anxity attacks were more intense than ever , in my eyes adderall is the devils drug to A borderline !
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I have BPD and also had very very negative effects from most all medications that I have been on due to as stated earlier the availability of the drug so overdose waiting for their time to shine was written on a few of the medications that I had been prescribed but mainly there has just never been a antidepressant that worked at all or I didnt feel even more disattached from myself on or didn't make me sick. Recently I was put on Latuda and Adderall and I have never felt so clear in my mind and even smile sometimes on the Latuda. Dialetical Behavior Trherapy is working but facing life is a challange and scary as hell. good luck to all out there and hang in there, I am taking baby steps as and aadult in a world ive always dealt with like an adolecent...wow trhats a mouthful and a giant step for me to even admit
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That's you though.I have BPD too, and I take medications for it and it works great for me. I am so much worse when I'm not on medication.
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omg I'm on the same mix. I have ADD and depression on top of BPD. Ive been taking lamictal for a while but i have no idea if it works. Adderall helps certain type of depression, actually. I've also tried antipsychotics but the side effects are unbearable. wellbutrin made me really jittery, i use lexapro
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Oh my god... Thank you so much!! I've been thinking recently that I've been misdiagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression, and Major Anxiety... Everyone around me says I'm showing more signs towards BPD and I'm starting to think they are right and that my medicine is making me worse.. I'm so impulsive and emotional that it's almost impossible for me to turn my days around when something small goes wrong.. I've hurt myself so much the last few years and I now think it's because I'm not on the right medicine. Thank you for your insight!!
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i just read your post though i see its a year old....How are you now? i feel like you could help my daughter who has BPD and NPD. The problem is she thinks she has no problems at all. She thinks her husband (who is about to leave her) and everyone else has the problems...we all feel helpless. Considered an intervention but not yet. She just started taking Lexapro for PTSD but i am not sure how this will affect her. I know the best answer is DPT classes but again she does not think she has a problem and gets so mad if anyone implies she does. Thank you, Helpless
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I know you posted this a year ago, but I was only diagnosed with BPD like 4 years ago and it was one of my greatest Councelor's ever that diagnosed it and my psychiatrist never advised me of this and in addition he had only been treating me for bipolar, depression and anxiety disorder. I've tried most of the anti depressants, mood stabilizers and nothing works, then I started seeing another Councelor which I've seen many, because I go to a county behavioral center. And she advised me of the notes in their system and I read a few books on BPD and it was like they were writing about me!!! I'm 52 and it seems like my symptoms are the worst they have ever been. I'm angry all the time and my family and friends don't take the time to understand, they're like it's just her being crazy. My impulsive side is worse than ever in regards to shopping and just doing things spontaneous. I have issues with family and friends on a regular basis because I don't give in and run around for them like I used too, I've kinda backed off and isolated myself from their drama. I'm kinda losing it and each day takes more effort. I had the gastric sleeve done just over a year ago and lost 130 pounds, I thought being thin would help my self image and being able to leave the house, it's helped a little but I'm worse than ever with being impulsive and angry. Plus I worry all the time about gaining weight so I've been going to the gym and not eating. Sorry this is so long but I just need help, my counselor had a baby back in September and I don't know when she'll be back and my so called husband doesn't care to understand and my mother is just a mean bitter lady since I was little and her response to me is your weight loss has made you more crazy and maybe you need more or different meds !!
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Kim,
That fills my heart with so much gladness. I have not been diagnosed with BPD yet, but I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and I've noticed that Adderol helps as long as I'm not stressed. When I stressed I'm more prone to a little bit of anxiety which usually goes away if I try to get creative, and play out a story in my head or sometimes face the anxiety head on. My problem is more at night. When I come off it and I get depressed. Some nights are really bad, especially if I feel like I've been screwed over or have been unloved (by rather unaffectionate girlfriend)... anyway... what I read of what you wrote made my day.
Thanks.
That fills my heart with so much gladness. I have not been diagnosed with BPD yet, but I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and I've noticed that Adderol helps as long as I'm not stressed. When I stressed I'm more prone to a little bit of anxiety which usually goes away if I try to get creative, and play out a story in my head or sometimes face the anxiety head on. My problem is more at night. When I come off it and I get depressed. Some nights are really bad, especially if I feel like I've been screwed over or have been unloved (by rather unaffectionate girlfriend)... anyway... what I read of what you wrote made my day.
Thanks.
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I'm 38 so know that what I take is not for those under about 30 or so, but the combination of Adderall (20 mg twice per day more if I feel I need it, and not the extend version just the 4 hour type) and mirtazapine (45mg at bed) have changed my life. Add that to talk therapy and a that I am not on the worst end of BPD, everyone has a different makeup of symptoms and the depth of the disorder, these meds have been AMAZING.
The worthlessness the mood swings the lack of empathy, manufacturing of feelings the thought of what is life's purpose and why bother, The lack of trust the mood swings the feelings of I'm a piece of c**p why would people show me love do I get angry the depression that came out as anger etc. etc. etc. but never to a point where I physically did any harm to myself or others. be it from a point of high intelligence or being a fairly introspective person with a combination of a childhood that was filled with love but a lot of fighting and yelling and screaming, i've been pretty lucky. I have to imagine like anything else in life no two people are the same so it works for one may not work for the other. I'm also glad that my doctor gave me the time to just feel better and look at the past to learn from and forgive myself for all the feelings I had. Don't forget everything you went through and all those feelings you had because once you can look at those and understand that's not you that's the miss wiring going on inside your head you can remove the sadness and shame and the feelings of worthlessness and used it to your advantage. I wouldn't be proud you got through it the proud you got to help and use it as a guide to constantly reaffirm to yourself that you are a good person you do have a good heart there is love inside of you you can look forward to happiness make plans for the future. Fill your days with activities exercise and things that bring you joy. Don't be afraid of pain and sadness and joy that you can experience those things but that they don't control you the same way you can experience happiness and joy and they don't control you either. Make a decision right now that nobody or anything else controls you that you're in charge your faith and your destiny and that you're smart enough to understand what was going on at the time before you got to help. Gain perspective and again look back to learn look forward for success. Don't rely on others to necessarily understand or be able to have that perspective to look back and feel differently about how they want to do them and what they see now. Long as you know they sell for two minutes and joy and not living at the extreme top or bottom are playing right in the middle. Take the time to be alone and for me to talk out there's a lot to myself and I found that the therapy helps greatly but the personal therapy I'm just thinking about where I was what I was thinking at the time now having an understanding of what the disorder does to you how it makes you feel well or you to reach a point of forgiveness as long as you don't tell yourself what you did was acceptable to take responsibility for it with the understanding that again that's not we really are because I think all of us who have gotten the help remember that dual train of thought that would run inside of your head that when you're angry and you're what was pumping in the adrenaline was flowing at the same time why am I reacted this way why am I hurting the people that love me the most and that all the time there was something inside of you that knew you were good and that you wanted love you deserve love and you wanted to give love to those around you. Do the hard work go back to those people like an alcoholic going through a 12 step program on what happened take excepted service and explain at the time I wasn't healthy enough to except your love because I didn't feel that I love myself, I like to except someone else's love you first have to love you. I found great comfort in reaching a point of understanding putting my pride and ego aside and believe me it was hard to do it hurt a lot and it's easy to get resentful but what's done is done and we can't change the past so focus on what you can control and leave everything else aside. One of the best things I ever heard was that you look to the past to learn and you look to the future for success Remember the past does not dictate our future wearing control of our faith my destiny in the day you decide to leave the past in the past is the day you look forward and see your new pad and then you can stand on your own 2 feet and that you don't need anybody to make you feel complete that you can love yourself and what you come to that realization of those in your life that you do love and one around you don't understand you don't need them which is healthy and that you want them in your life and that there's a difference between need and want. Whatever meds you're taking there just a bridge to give you the ability to then be mentally healthy if you're willing to put the hurt the sadness and the pain of what you went through what others may have put you through and all the evil you thought you had inside of you. Believe me I question whether or not I was a sociopath if I could walk up to some random old lady in the parking lot and slice your throat and never feel a bit of empathy. And maybe scary to think about it want to just bury it all behind you but that's only going to continue to haunt you for the rest of your life. As I said before in the past don't make it something that was acceptable take responsibility for what happened with the perspective that you did get the help and now you understand why you felt that way and from that you'll find great power on believable confidence to know you did the hardest thing that you ever had to do and that you're a survivor you're a warrior in the determination that you have inside of you unstoppable. May have taken some Trumatic life event to finally push is so deep into sadness like it did for me and my wife thought that she wanted to divorce was exactly what I wanted to hear because I was so unhappy and there is no possible way that I actually loved her. The one I dropped the ground bottom out finally was enough to make me say that something wasn't right. Maybe it was the desperation to not want to lose her they finally got me in the door to get the help that feeling of I need her though it may be very unhealthy side. Maybe it was the desperation to not want to lose her they finally got me in the door to get the help that feeling of I need her though it may be very unhealthy to think that you need someone in order to feel complete at the time it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank God she's got a big heart and was able take comfort in knowing that she had a made the biggest mistake of her life thinking that I was the right man for her. Even if you feel you've lost everything take solace in knowing that there's a way to get it back.
I'll say it again look to the past to learn and look to your future for success.
The worthlessness the mood swings the lack of empathy, manufacturing of feelings the thought of what is life's purpose and why bother, The lack of trust the mood swings the feelings of I'm a piece of c**p why would people show me love do I get angry the depression that came out as anger etc. etc. etc. but never to a point where I physically did any harm to myself or others. be it from a point of high intelligence or being a fairly introspective person with a combination of a childhood that was filled with love but a lot of fighting and yelling and screaming, i've been pretty lucky. I have to imagine like anything else in life no two people are the same so it works for one may not work for the other. I'm also glad that my doctor gave me the time to just feel better and look at the past to learn from and forgive myself for all the feelings I had. Don't forget everything you went through and all those feelings you had because once you can look at those and understand that's not you that's the miss wiring going on inside your head you can remove the sadness and shame and the feelings of worthlessness and used it to your advantage. I wouldn't be proud you got through it the proud you got to help and use it as a guide to constantly reaffirm to yourself that you are a good person you do have a good heart there is love inside of you you can look forward to happiness make plans for the future. Fill your days with activities exercise and things that bring you joy. Don't be afraid of pain and sadness and joy that you can experience those things but that they don't control you the same way you can experience happiness and joy and they don't control you either. Make a decision right now that nobody or anything else controls you that you're in charge your faith and your destiny and that you're smart enough to understand what was going on at the time before you got to help. Gain perspective and again look back to learn look forward for success. Don't rely on others to necessarily understand or be able to have that perspective to look back and feel differently about how they want to do them and what they see now. Long as you know they sell for two minutes and joy and not living at the extreme top or bottom are playing right in the middle. Take the time to be alone and for me to talk out there's a lot to myself and I found that the therapy helps greatly but the personal therapy I'm just thinking about where I was what I was thinking at the time now having an understanding of what the disorder does to you how it makes you feel well or you to reach a point of forgiveness as long as you don't tell yourself what you did was acceptable to take responsibility for it with the understanding that again that's not we really are because I think all of us who have gotten the help remember that dual train of thought that would run inside of your head that when you're angry and you're what was pumping in the adrenaline was flowing at the same time why am I reacted this way why am I hurting the people that love me the most and that all the time there was something inside of you that knew you were good and that you wanted love you deserve love and you wanted to give love to those around you. Do the hard work go back to those people like an alcoholic going through a 12 step program on what happened take excepted service and explain at the time I wasn't healthy enough to except your love because I didn't feel that I love myself, I like to except someone else's love you first have to love you. I found great comfort in reaching a point of understanding putting my pride and ego aside and believe me it was hard to do it hurt a lot and it's easy to get resentful but what's done is done and we can't change the past so focus on what you can control and leave everything else aside. One of the best things I ever heard was that you look to the past to learn and you look to the future for success Remember the past does not dictate our future wearing control of our faith my destiny in the day you decide to leave the past in the past is the day you look forward and see your new pad and then you can stand on your own 2 feet and that you don't need anybody to make you feel complete that you can love yourself and what you come to that realization of those in your life that you do love and one around you don't understand you don't need them which is healthy and that you want them in your life and that there's a difference between need and want. Whatever meds you're taking there just a bridge to give you the ability to then be mentally healthy if you're willing to put the hurt the sadness and the pain of what you went through what others may have put you through and all the evil you thought you had inside of you. Believe me I question whether or not I was a sociopath if I could walk up to some random old lady in the parking lot and slice your throat and never feel a bit of empathy. And maybe scary to think about it want to just bury it all behind you but that's only going to continue to haunt you for the rest of your life. As I said before in the past don't make it something that was acceptable take responsibility for what happened with the perspective that you did get the help and now you understand why you felt that way and from that you'll find great power on believable confidence to know you did the hardest thing that you ever had to do and that you're a survivor you're a warrior in the determination that you have inside of you unstoppable. May have taken some Trumatic life event to finally push is so deep into sadness like it did for me and my wife thought that she wanted to divorce was exactly what I wanted to hear because I was so unhappy and there is no possible way that I actually loved her. The one I dropped the ground bottom out finally was enough to make me say that something wasn't right. Maybe it was the desperation to not want to lose her they finally got me in the door to get the help that feeling of I need her though it may be very unhealthy side. Maybe it was the desperation to not want to lose her they finally got me in the door to get the help that feeling of I need her though it may be very unhealthy to think that you need someone in order to feel complete at the time it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank God she's got a big heart and was able take comfort in knowing that she had a made the biggest mistake of her life thinking that I was the right man for her. Even if you feel you've lost everything take solace in knowing that there's a way to get it back.
I'll say it again look to the past to learn and look to your future for success.
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Lots of typos, Siri is not my friend at times. But I think you get the gist of my message.
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this is amazing to hear as my daughter is suffering from BPD , Bulimia and she's an alcoholic. Her drinking is scary. She is violent and self abusing. The BPD drives the negative drunk thoughts. She can't hold a job, keep friends, is abusive to her boyfriend . If she would be clean she would be more receptive to the DBT treatment but she gets manic and chooses to drink knowing the chaos it creates. I wish her life could be like yours. But she was on Adderral and she was mean and insane. The side effects are also dangerous (speed = heart attack possibly) yet her binge eating was controlled . I wish there was a true magic pill to stop the impulsivity to drink to forget her BPD feelings. I'm at wits end it's a daily roller coaster of stress and worry she will kill herself or someone Else
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