What is man's noblest companion?

Easy. The Baked Bean.
Women love the humble bean, but men love them passionately.
Picture your early American explorer, will you? Starving and crawling along the track west, hallucinating on baked beans; no can opener or nothing. Got into them with an axe. True pioneer. When the axe got blunt, he patiently waits for a bolt of lightning. He goes into the bank and withdraws his last dollar. Later he is seen in Central park (is that on the road west?) happily forking away. Its not long before he is contentedly fast asleep dreaming of further beans.

Now think of the wealthy man dying for a happy feed. We see him in his Park Avenue mansion a trifle peckish. He can't sleep: he's too rich. He would like to be poor but he doesn't want to be thought of as a plagiarist. Its not original to be rich but at least you get a feed each night.
He calls out to his half sleeping wife. "I cannot sleep tonight, dear."
"Get into some beans then." she croons from upstairs.
He goes to the fridge and fossicking through the moose pat'e and paint thinner, selects a fresh can.
"Whopee"!!! he yells as he rips into them.

There's an astuteness about beans. They are steadfast. From the first one gobbled to the last one forked, they are a success. You can even cook them in the dark. I wear sunglasses and still don't burn them.

Who want's a cold crayfish when you can sit out the back and get stuck into a hot can of baked beans a stare up at the night sky.
Bliss.