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If you knew an acquaintance (of rather questionable background) was homeless temporarily?

I feel like we should at least let the guy crash for a day or two, but he does drink a lot, every day, all day. He's harmless, but got kicked out of his tralier park due to a domestic situation. I feel bad for anyone sleeping outdoors. He did some yardwork for us now and I paid him, and felt like I should offer something in the way of lodging, but I don't want trouble either.
(Larry already nixed the idea, saying if his closer friends wouldn't offer housing then we shouldn't either, but I don't know the reason why they are not letting him stay with them.)

What would you do?

There's not exactly a homeless shelter in this town, either.

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Wow, that's tough. I'm kinda thinkin' like Larry though. Funny that his closer friends haven't offered him a place to stay. I don 't think I'd offer him a place to stay even for then night. He's just an acquaintance, not a good friend or anything. The questionable background raises a flag too. I. Wouldn't. Do It. 8O
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I can tell you from experience, once you let them stay "for a couple days", they are really hard to get rid of. I'd say no, especially if he's a heavy drinker. I know it sounds mean but I've really learned the hard way not to invite trouble to my own home. Maybe you can find him someplace else to stay? A job?
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
I agree with you, the way the laws are today the property owner has no rights while the squatter has all the rights. It may cost you hundreds in court costs to get him out if he doesn't want to go.
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If it's just an acquaintance, I would not do it. A friend, I'd give them two nights tops.
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I'm with Larry. You can feel sorry for him, but if you bring him in you may be sorry. Kicked out for a domestic situation raises big flags for me. I wouldn't want to be home alone with him and I wouldn't want him in my home alone. So I'd look at it this way....unless Larry can be there when this guy is there all the time....no way!!! So really the decision is Larry's and I don't he can, nor does he want to. So really, it's out of your hands.....and stop feeling bad about it.

Buy him a tent.
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Thanks, all. We're paying him to do some yardwork that neither of us has time to do right now, and possibly paint the shed. He did a good job, from what I can tell.

I could offer him one of our tents, true. We're certainly not using them.
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is there a cheap, really cheap hotel where you could pay for his room for a night or 2 in exchange for the work he's doing for you?
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Akern was right on target with her assessment, with one little maybe. And that would be finding him a place to stay or a job still asks the question, "and what until then?"
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Personally, I agree with what many have said here. I've been on the giving end of letting someone homeless live with me/us (dh & I). This individual, as needy as he was, lived with us and OFF US for 5 months until I couldn't stand it any longer. He did nothing productive while living there, but listen to our CD's, eat our food, drive our cars, sleep in our warm home, take our hot water for showers and live a great life while we busted our asses to make a living. As kind as we were, it wasn't a good deal in the long run. Yes, we did feel bad that he was sleeping in his car in the cold winter at night. Yes, we took him in. Yes, we got used. That was the last time we let him live with us. I personally would never do it again. :?

It's ok to feel for this guy. Perhaps you can do something along the line as to helping him find a job. Thankfully, it's warm there and he won't freeze.
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Maybe you could recommend he commit a crime in front of a police officer. Three hots and a cot = problem solved.
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
That used to be the solution around here when I was a teen in the 50s. In the Summer the town "bums" slept in gas station rest rooms or a place called "hobo jungle" down the tracks a mile or so. When it got too cold they would toss a rock through a store window or if in a real hurry, the police station window. That would earn them 90 days in the county jail where it was warm and they had three hots and a cot. When they got out Spring was here and they would go back to the other part of their routine.
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I agree with everyone else. If he's less than a close friend and even his close friends haven't taken him in, then you shouldn't either. You're doing plenty by just giving him the chance to make a little money in exchange for getting some stuff done you needed to have done. Fair trade, and he's earning an honest wage. What he chooses to do from there is his deal.
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Has he asked for help? ...for work? ...for a place to stay?

Coming from one who finds it difficult to ask for help, the act of doing so is just as important as receiving it. Very philosophical of me, hmm? Not intended to be, but my point is sincere that help received without realizing that you need or want it will likely be unappreciated, abused, frittered away, etc.

I agree with those who suggest that paying him for his work and possibly loaning a tent (and not expecting it to come back to you) are good ideas.
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Your compassion is really admirable. But if there's a chance your safety and/or well-being would be compromised, I wouldn't do it. I see chances all over the place here, and this kind of stress is not what a bride needs.
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