'Born This Way" And 'Gay Conversion Therapy'

This world counts numerous people who believe homosexuality to be a sin — a sin they do not only have the right, but even a duty to correct, in whatever ways they personally deem acceptable. Forget a US conservative Christian baker's refusal to make a "gay wedding cake": both in the past and in the present in various countries, being gay or perceived as such has (had) such implications as facing the death penalty, being denied access to children, being denied employment, being denied access to healthcare, and being subjected to utterly cruel treatments to "correct" the person's homosexuality.

In the modern western world, "gay conversion therapy" is one form discrimination against non-heterosexual people may take on. As Exodus International, one of the largest groups advocating this practice, says:

"We believe same-sex attractions are one of many ways that people experience fallen humanity. Christians and non-Christians can both experience same-sex attractions. For some people, same-sex attractions are unwanted attractions that bring struggle and confusion into their lives. Some people embrace these and become involved in homosexuality. People within the church who experience same-sex attractions may have difficulty finding support in the church or from family members. People outside the church often think that God and the church to be against them rather than offering hope, welcome and help. Yet the message of Scripture is that God’s love brings hope and help.

While anyone can experience same-sex attractions, engaging in homosexual behavior distorts God’s intent for people and is sinful."

OK. That was long, and as boring as it is horrifying. I'm sorry for subjecting my readers to that. It is important, however. Exodus International adds what they actually do when someone contacts them for "support": "Exodus will refer you to the Exodus Member Ministries that are close to you. Most of our Member Ministries are non-professional Christian ministries that provide some combination of Christian fellowship, discipleship, counseling and support group services." Yep, that's right, you've landed in the world of "pray the gay away", a practice that is all too common — and perhaps even something your parents want you to attend if you are a young queer person, or something you yourself may feel called to turn to, after a lifetime of being taught that homosexuality is a sin. 

Does it work? Of course not. The consensus among mainstream psychologists is that this is a dangerous and ineffective practice, one that can make feelings of self-hatred and anxiety grow in those who are falsely being treated for something perfectly normal.

The defense against this kind of damaging nonsense? "We were born this way, and there's nothing you can do to change it." Indeed, studies suggest that genes themselves represent up to 30 percent of differences between people of different sexual orientations, and that genetic markers are indeed rather likely to explain part of the puzzle. Part of the puzzle isn't all of the puzzle, though. Hormones, too, are inherent. But then there are other factors, both social and as yet unexplained ones.

One thing is clear: inhumane "therapy" techniques aren't going to change my sexuality any more than they will change my age or ethnic group (though if I have no choice but to attend them, they may just change what I say about these things in public, and even, perhaps, the actions I take — nice world we live in).

However, while research is still emerging, people's lives carry on, and people sometimes find themselves genuinely self-identifying as straight at one point in their lives, gay at another, and pansexual at yet another, or those people may find themselves falling in love with a person because of who they are rather than what their gender is, or they may find themselves in a relationship with a trans person in transition. Then, there are those who never felt conventional labels applied to them in the first place.

READ Are You Ready To Lose Your Virginity?

As research on human sexuality continues to emerge, people's lives carry on, and there are indeed those who self-identify as one sexual orientation at one point in their lives, but another later down the road. We might simply not have the vocabulary to express the full range of human sexual experience yet.