Tale Or Truth: Can People On The Autistic Spectrum Tell Lies?

The average person, multiple bits of research suggest, tells about two lies a day — though the fact that the research was based on self-reports means we obviously have to consider the possibility that they're lying about that. Averages are mathematical works of art, of course, and few people are exactly average. So, it's really very interesting to hear that a full half of all (reported) lies are spun by just over five percent of the population, as one study found. 

Back to basics: What is lying?

The studies I've investigated while preparing to write this all define lying as some version of "attempting to convince someone else to believe something the teller doesn't think is true". Practically all cultures have some sort of rule against it, one study pointed out, and many globally consider lying "wrong". The same bit of research also, however, goes on to mention that lying can be a key part of being what would be thought of as a polite person. 

I'm not totally off, I hope, when I think that these kinds of self-serving lies would be nearly universally considered wrong:

• Telling someone you're interested in dating that you're single, when you're in fact married and still in a relationship with the person you're married to. 
• Pretending, as Frank Abagnale Jr from Catch Me If You Can fame did, to be a pilot, doctor, and prosecutor (all while forging large amounts of money). That stuff could cost someone their life. 
• Blaming a mistake you made at work on a coworker, so they get fired instead of you. 

On the other hand, there are those lies that serve as social glue, and that I bet many of the people self-reporting on their deceptions didn't even think to include. You know the ones. The infamous "no, you don't look fat in that dress" when you think the asker does, or even just "I'm fine, thanks" — when your cat just died, you're behind on your rent, and your allergies are playing up. You're still convincing the person you're talking to to believe something that isn't true (AKA: lying), though most of us know all too well that "How are you?" isn't usually actually meant to induce an honest response. 

Then, there are obvious lies that we would certainly think of as lies, but consider morally OK or even morally necessary. Think: Telling your friend's abusive ex-partner, who's shown signs that they might try to murder or seriously harm your friend, that you have no idea where your friend is (when you do). 

There are many kinds of lies, then, and the one thing they all have in common is trying to get someone to believe something you think isn't true.

Can autistic people tell lies? 

Here's the thing, though — the typically-developing children were much better at keeping the lie going. That is, when asked what they though the toy was, they were more likely to keep the fact that they weren't supposed to know in mind, rather than offering the correct answer. So based on this study and a few similar ones, autistic people tell lies, but they don't tend to be as good at it as non-autistic people. 

The kind of lie that's told to get what you want or to stay out of trouble is called an antisocial lie. The kind we typically refer to as a "white lie" is called a prosocial lie — deception for the benefit of others, often to avoid hurting their feelings. Can autistic people tell those kinds of lies? One study that predicted the answer would be "no" found that some autistic children did, in fact, say that they liked a gift they previously reported not being too keen on, so the answer is, again, yes. 

Anecdotally and very unscientifically, I asked a bunch of autistic adults if they could lie and if they did tell lies. Most reported that they abhorred lying, were bad at it, and didn't see the point. Some said they'd lie and hope they could be convincing if lives depended on it, while one person said they sometimes told lies to fit in socially. 

It's also perhaps important to note, however, that some typically autistic behaviors — like fidgeting or "stimming", and not making eye contact — may cause neurotypical folks who don't understand autistic traits to falsely conclude that someone on the spectrum is lying. These same behaviors are often said to be displayed by tellers of porky pies, after all, stemming from being nervous about lying. This kind of misconception can be a particular problem in a law-enforcement setting.

Can autistic people tell when others are lying?

It is, again, impossible to make blanket generalizations. Science has shown that people in general are pretty bad at telling when someone is lying to them.

Another problem is that non-autistic people frequently don't say what they mean — often because they're engaging in prosocial lies. While other neurotypical folks would usually have no problem knowing when "oh yes, we really must meet up again sometime" means "I hope I never see you again", someone on the autism spectrum may have a harder time deciphering the subtext.

But isn't camouflaging or masking lying, too?

Scientific researchers tend to call it "camouflaging", while people in the autistic community tend to prefer the term "masking" — the adoption of behaviors that run contrary to an autistic person's actual self, but that allow them to better fit into a world dominated by people with different neurological wiring. Autistic females are, research has found, especially likely to adopt these kinds of coping mechanisms, often by studying neurotypical behavior intensely, including by watching television. 

Some examples might include attending loud concerts when that really makes a person uncomfortable, trying to keep "stimming" (self-stimulatory behaviors like, for example, hand-flapping or repeating comforting phrases) to a minimum, or even coming up with socially acceptable go-to phrases to facilitate conversation.

But other examples could definitely fall into the "trying to convince people of something that isn't true" (AKA: lying) category. No, I don't mind that you canceled dinner. Hahaha, that joke was so funny. I'm totally OK that you just touched my shoulder. I am really enjoying this boring conversation.

That, however, isn't the kind of thing society typically includes in its "lies are bad" paradigm. That is the kind of lie society applauds, in fact, to the point where it's hardly considered a lie at all. As one study said: 

"From a care ethics perspective [...] a way should be found to allow [...] high-functioning persons with autism to respect the feelings and needs of other persons as sometimes overruling the duty of truthfulness. We suggest this may even entail ‘morally educating’ children and adolescents with autism to become socially skilled empathic ‘liars’."

As intense masking can, for the record, be immensely exhausting, as well as a cause of anxiety and meltdowns, it's arguably better to create an environment where it's not (as) necessary for autistic people to mask to better fit in.