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Darkred, yes I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My husband has been in business for 9yrs. now. I want to help him, but not work for him. I just started college last year and I want to give more attention to my education. I feel like I have so much more to talk about while I'm in school and that makes our conversations much more rich than always talking business (boring!). I want to hear about his day and such, but not think, "oh, did he give me the paperwork or the numbers for that job?"
I want to be interesting to him as well, not be his employee/bookkeeper. I want him to DATE ME, dang it! While I'm at it, I want my body and strength back and play the games that used to make him drool! Oh, yeah, 8) that should add some sparks back to our marriage.
So..............do you see why I told him I quit?
Hugs, darling-Wendy
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Dark Red, I forgot to answer your other question. I've been married for almost 12yrs. now. I'm finially able to go to college, because my youngest is 16 now. Better late than never! I start again in three weeks if all goes well with my recovery. Talk to ya soon!-Wendy
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Healthfitness guy and Dark Red, I wasn't paying attention to who posted the question on how long I've been married and such, and I just assumed it was from you, Dark Red. HOW EMBARASSING!

Oh well, we can just all get a good laugh!

Healthfitness guy, I'm sure I answered your questions, probably a little TMI?
So do you have a lot of discussions on the diet and nutrition? Are you a trainer or just really into working out?-Wendy
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:-D heheh I was little confused when I read your reply, and I started to ask my self when did I asked her how long is she married. :-)
And then I see your last post and I found healthnfitnessguy's post. Had a good laugh about this. :-)

Now 3lk I'm so sorry to hear that your doctor treated you like this. I don't understand him to be honest. What is his problem?!?
I'm not sure, and this is your decision only, but I think that you need to go to another doctor. It seams that you are in much pain because he didn't the fissure the first time on your first check up. Talk to your husband about this, see what he thinks.
Wendy you know that we will be here, don't worry. You will have us and you can talk about this with us. We are here to help each other.

All the best to both of you.
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Dark Red and 3lovelykiddos,
I'm sore and tired today, but I think for sure am on my way to recovery. :-D (at least until my next procedure "gulp!) I took some Senna Prompt. It's supposed to be Overnight relief, but it worked in like four hours! To top it off, I only took half the dose. Had pretty rough cramps right before, but I went, and it was only a little uncomfortable, not like glass and no pain killers! Of course I hadn't gone since Monday, so it was like......well, you get the picture. So my bum is sore and slightly swollen today. I need to give it a break, so no Senna Prompt today. Bowels were narrow, so a little itsy bitsy concerned about that because of the stories I've heard about stenosis, which is a narrowing due to scar tissue-which would require surgury to correct that's supposed to be WORSE than hemmorhoid surgery! But that's not going to happen, right? I have to think positive!

Dark Red, thank you honey for your support. You are such a blessing to both 3lk and I. What would we do without you? Hugs to you, dear.

3lovelykiddos, still very concerned about you. Are you still bleeding from the last bm? I hope that you're either doing better or in the ER for attention and pain control. I would still look into another doctor. Maybe you can call your insurance company and find colon/rectal surgeons in your area and get checked out by them. Is your surgeon a general surgeon or a colon/rectal specialist? Mine is a colon/rectal specialist. She is so compassionate and actually while I was in the hospital, I met two other colon/rectal specialists from the same clinic and they were also very compassionate. So their are lots of nice ones out there and it would be well worth it to give it a shot at looking into another doc.
Please let me know how you're doing! Prayers and hugs-Wendy
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Wendy and DarkRed... Hi you two.. Wendy, I'm glad you finally had a BM... hopefully you'll be going more than you were in order to keep on recovering ok.. I have not had one yet today.. I had taken 2 senekots at 3am and still nothing... it will happen sooner than later I'm sure.. LOL

Well now the bad news, my husband lost his job back in November (he had worked there for 20 years) and we had been paying Cobra the last few months until my surgery was finished with and well needless to say after yesterday, we have no more insurance... He's been looking for a job and applying at different places and locations but the economy is so bad right now, that nobody is hiring. And I'm the only one working and well, I have not worked since my first surgery which was over 2 months ago and I don't get paid for any of my time off.... So now I'm extremely worried about my recovery... I have to stick with the same surgeon... he's a rectal surgeon... because he's the one who did the surgeries... thats why I've been trying to be nice to him and not argue with him... but when it comes down to my health, then I start to worry... My OBGYN is family (through marriage only) and he's wonderful (he graduated Harvard) I've been going to him for years, so I'm hoping even though I don't have insurance, he'll get me in this month and check everything out to make sure I'm healing properly? So I have a lot on my mind lately... You hate to tell strangers your life stories but in this case, it just feels right to let you know whats really going on.... We've been struggling and the past couple of months have been rough and I know its just going to get worse... We pray for the good Lord's will and we just don't know where or what to do? So again thank you for thinking of me and my family and praying for me! I know God will take care of us, he always has... Its just hard to put on a happy face for our 3 kids (they really don't understand)... You know we were never rich but we were able to choose the doctors we wanted, buy the clothes we wanted and all of a sudden, its gone... It can happen to anyone... and I would not wish this on anybody ever... So thank you for being the good friends you are and have been to me... You both are wonderful people!!!! Lots of Hugs... ;-)
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Hi honey! I didn't know about your insurance problems hon! So sorry for the other things I said! BUT you still have to tell him how you feel about how he treated you! Send him the letter, and write everything down! The more i write on here the angrier I get about all the Americans without medical insurance!!! You guys HAVE to fight for public health. It's evil and immoral that there are so many of you suffering so much! OR loosing everything! I think Every one of you should go public because here in Canada, there's been a lot of talk about a Canadian woman who mortgaged her house and went into over $100,000 in debt to get a brain tumour removed in the States. She keeps being on tv saying "My public healthcare wasn't there for me!" what she didn't mention is that she will now have to pay this bill for the rest of her life!!! U nless the Republicans and health Insurance companies are paying her! The more regular Americans who are hurting, come out on tv and say "This is wrong!" the quicker the greedy will dissapear! SORRY for getting off track, it's just NOT fair!

When you go see your gynecologist, ask about the pill idea I was talking about earlier to stop your periods OK? This will help your recovery! I haven't read this entire thread so Wendy and DarkRed forgive me if I state something to you that has already been covered, but just remember you can only poop out what you are taking in. So somtimes the food hasn't got to its "destination" yet! And I found that the Senekots and the AWFUL citrus drink (can't remember its name for the life of me) makes me sicker than a dog! And sometimes found that I would rather have pain while on the toilet than the feeling I had with such harsh chemicals. I don't know if it was you 3LK or another lady, but ALL that fiber can just play havoc and make you feel so sick! And when you have "bum burps" they can hurt just the same can't they?

Wendy, do you use sitz baths hot/cold and the squirt bottle? Like I've said to 3lk try and take as much Omega oils as you can, this helps with the ease of the BM's! And have you been shown how to have a BM and what position to be in etc? IF you haven't, or if you have a dip in your anus, let me know OK? And I can give you some tips!

It's an embarrassing subject, but the great thing is that we can't see each others faces ;-) XD because there would be a LOT of this :$ o.O 8-| %-) So that's what I like about this site, us with these problems can talk openly as can teenagers and other regarding personal questions they don't want to ask anyone! So as I've said before to you 3lk I will say to you Wendy and darkred, ALL the best of health and luck! And may you recover quickly! Hugs to all!
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Bambi, you are so funny and cute! Omega 3's are something I didn't even think about! I have some, I'll start immediately. Also, I think anything with Senna, no matter what the product name, seems to cause cramps, but........It's the ONLY thing that has worked on me besides the oral phoshate enemas, which are very dehydrating, so you only use them if you have to. I took a senna yesterday because I hadn't gone since Monday. I eat fruit, vegetables, whole grain bread, fiber cereal and drink lots of water. While on this diet, I tried all different kinds of fiber or laxatives, etc. Still nothing would come out. So last night I took Senna at half dose and since my last post in which I was so happy, I have now produced FOUR bm's from that same half dose of Senna! I am now raw, sore and when I started to bleed, I got so frustrated I started to cry. I was doing so well, I was only taking Ibuprophen, now I had to take percs and I'm ready to go sit in the bathtub.

3lk, so sorry about your circumstances and I understand having to be nice to the surgeon. I'm really happy to hear your OBGYN is family. What a blessing! I will add to my prayers for you, hun. Do you have a Salvation Army by you? They have a lot of services and may be able to give you some great advice on getting some needs met if it comes to that. One of my dearest friends is a Salvation Army volunteer coordinater. As a matter of fact, I planned to have a women's bible study next Tuesday at my home, but after I started bleeding today, I began to wonder if I'm going to be able to have it here. My friend assured me she'd take it over to her house if I'm feeling to poorly. I love this woman. I wanted to do the bible study on loving others. Are you still bleeding? prayers and hugs-Wendy
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Hi Wendy: I will tell you what I told 3lk, omega oil is one of the best things to keep you going, also green tea - it's a great laxative, Have you heard of Tucs Pads? If you put those in the freezer and place them on the "Hole of despair!!!!! ;-) " After each toilet visit, they reduce the swelling. They are a God Send when they are frozen. A panty liner or mini pad, spritzed with water and frozen in the freezer is another excellent thing to stop bleeding! Alternating your sitz bath and squirt bottle with REALLY warm water for the sitz then REALLY cold water for the squirt, REALLY keeps the inflamation down. Did you bleed due to just too many BM's or was it from compaction? If you have a dip, which I would think you do, you can use a small vibrator that looks like a J it is the size of your finger, you put that in your vagina against the wall where the dip is and push it gently, this helps the dip straighten out and your BM's to go easier! It TOTALLY Works! And just incase you haven't been told the rest I'll say it anyways! Sit with your elbows on your knees, cross your big toe over the other toe and push out the heels of your feet out as much as possible, then relax. Also right before you sit down, bend slightly at the waist and make your stomach go in and out really quickly - like a major ripple - this helps you get more muscle control in your digestive track and move down the feces! I mentioned to 3lk about a full meal drink I get from the health food store, it is called VEGA it has everything in it, including Omega Oils and Acidopholus and every vitamin and mineral known to man kind. It keeps me regular and I haven't had problems in a long time. So if you can get a liquid meal with all the fiber in it and oils and vitamins, this will be better for you than ALL that fiber that you are ingesting! It can cause SO much stomach pains, and embarrassment!!!!! :$ You're sitting at a table and keep coughing to hide the sound of the ochestra in your stomach!!!!! ;-) o.O XD XD Trying to air dry as much as possible - without the neighbours seeing you o.O - is a good thing too. I mentioned to 3lk that I had these fishnet underpants from the hospital they were wonderful - UNTIL my brotherinlaw came to see me and sat off to the corner of the bed, and I THOUGHT I was covered!!!!! I WASN'T!!!!!!!! o.O o.O o.O :$ XD XD So as long as you don't have visitors you will be fine!!! LOL Also chocolate and the occaisional Starbucks is a good thing! Be careful of the Percocets OK? I became addicted to those - for another physical reason though - and they are hard to get off if you get used to them!

So Omegas, Green Tea, Hot and Cold sitzes, Frozen Tucs, good positions, and deep breathing! When you are really bleeding don't use the hydrogen peroxide in the squirt bottle, you will scream your head off! And did you know about the 3 cups of Epsom Salts in the bathtub!!!? That is wonderful, just have enough REALLY warm water to cover your thighs! that really helps draw out any problems from the planet Uranus!!!! ;-) XD I wish you all a speedy recovery and to have a gentle person to deal with you!
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Wow, Bambi, thank you! You're a wealth of information. I'm really interested in these VEGA drinks. You say drinking one of those a day and omega 3's make you regular? That would be much better than any Senna products. I think I definitely was backed up. I hadn't gone in 4 days. I stopped bleeding, so maybe I just made a little tear?

How long ago did you have the surgery? I, for the first time, looked at my "planet" down there, and it looks hideous! :$ There is still swelling and I can see some stitches hanging there. My doc says I'm definitely going to have skin tags. I'm wondering how bad this will hurt? o.O I think I will try to research this on the web.

Thanks for all your helpful info! Hugs, Wendy

3lovelykiddos, how are you holding up? Please let me know!hugs to you, too!-Wendy
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Hi Wendy: Skin tags are another name for small hemmoroids, without the blood vessels! So don't worry about that! I think 3LK thinks I sell VEGA - I DONT!!!!! XD It is found in any healthfood store. Here is the website for it - I should buy some stocks!!! LOL

http://sequelnaturals.com/vega

AND it comes in CHOCOLATE!!!!! I use it with skim milk, the water isn't for me! You can see from the list ALL of what it has in it.

The compaction is the problem, and the more regular you are with NO obstruction the better. This "Drink" ;-) IS a GOD Send! And it just makes me feel better.

Like I have told 3LK I didn't have surgery for the "hanging lamps"!! I had a Grade 3 tear due to my last child! I delivered him through my anus and it took them 2 hours to sew me up!! So I suffered like you guys for a LONG time! and had to go for special vaginal physio therapy and rectal therapy etc. So that is why I know so much about it! Like I said, keeping that swelling and compaction down IS the key to totally healing! It is virtually impossible to keep that area clean, but if you try your best then it will be easier.

I will tell you what I tell everyone else, try not to do TOO much "research" on the web OK? You will find hypochondriacs and people saying RIDICULOUS things to get attention. And this can really get you upset! I KNOW this 1st hand! So just be careful NOT to look at sites that keep mentioning the "WORST Case possible"

3LK?!!! How you doing honey?!

Hugs and health to you both!
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Hi Bambi and Wendy! Well I'm still in a lot of pain and I'm just scared and nervous... I just don't feel like I'm healing since this second surgery and its been 2 weeks ago... I just feel like I tore myself again but like I said before that surgeon did not really exam me that well this past visit... So I'm praying that my OBGYN (love him) can get me in to just check me out to see if I'm healing properly... It does not hurt to have a second opinion right? He can at least tell if I'm healing or if I gave myself another fissure.. It will at least give me peace of mind! My BM's still hurt so badly... I still do my colace and laxatives, etc.. even when the BM's are soft, its painful and I sweat.... Its just a living nightmare that has happend to me over the past 2 months... Just terrible.. I wish I could wake up and be all healed with no more pain! My poor kids pray that mommy's butt gets better... Its so bitter sweet... I will keep you updated on my recovery... Just please pray that my OBGYN can get me in to see him in the next couple of weeks... I'm just a nervous wreck... Thank you for being here for me! Lots of Hugs to you both!!!

Wendy, I hope you are feeling better hon.. I have not spoke to you in awhile.. and I'm sorry about that.. but I do pray for you!!! Hugs to you too...
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Hi hon! I feel so bad for you, have you tried taking the oils? They are far better at keeping your stools loose! You might have a tear! Why don't you call this so called doctors office and tell the nurse/secertary what is going on and see if they can get you back in. ALSO I obviously don't get the American System, but is there ANYWHERE you can go for free medical help = like a public hospital? If so I would like you to go there. After 2 weeks you should be seeing some improvement. And also the way you have been treated can make you feel VERY vunerable and overwhelmed! When you have a sympathetic and caring professional they can put your mind at ease and help you. This - you know what - has made you feel the opposite! So I feel SO bad for you honey. IF there is anyway of you getting free help then do it! Just to put your mind at ease! Because If you know that everything is going as planned you will feel better right?

After my trauma, I actually left my doctor that I was under, she couldn't care less. And I went and found a new one that cared! So do the same IF you can!
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Bambi, Wow! quite the trauma your poor body has been through! Holy macro does that sound bad! You're right, I can now see why you know so much. How long ago was this done? Are you totally healed now?

My hemorrhoids came from 19 years ago when I was in labor for 27hrs. with my first child. I think I pushed for about 3hours and they cut my perrinial area and I ripped anyways all the way to my bum. They had to finially help me deliver using forceps. I had to sit on a pillow for two weeks.

Now, I have a question about what you said about my skin tags. You said not to worry. Can you clarify? You mean, don't worry about them and leave them because there's no blood vessels, or do you mean having them removed won't be as painful because there's no blood vessels? Also, I was wondering if these could turn back into full hemorrhoids with blood vessels and all if I didn't remove them? It seems like that would be possible, because right now they're still swollen.

Please let me know, and thanks again for all your advice! Hugs, Wendy

3lk, I'm really concerned about you. I truly hope you don't have to wait long to get seen by your OBGYN. Is there any possibility of getting help through your state? I live in MN and here you can apply for state medical. Maybe you could check this out? Still praying for you, hun, and thank you for your prayers as well. Hugs, Wendy
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Hi Wendy: A hemmoroid is a varicose vein! It is engorged with blood and when we bear down - either for a bowel movement or in childbirth - the blood gets more engorged there. A skin tag is more like a piece of skin! A lot of times when a hemmoroid has been done by tying it off, the blood supply is cut off, so all is left is the extra skin!!! So that's why some doctors do it that way. NOW in cases like yourself, me and 3LK then ours are based from internal trauma! All 3 of us had troubles delivering, so we not only had to deal with the tearing and stitching we also had to deal with the hemmorroids! The only time doctors become worried about hemorrhoids is when they become too engorged and are causing PAIN, and if they become infected! MANY people have them, but only a small percentage have to have them surgically removed! Your's will still be swollen, because of all the trauma and the engourgement. But with the right follow up and taking care of the problem before it gets too far advanced!

I had 2 tearings, my 1st child gave me over 50 stitches and my second was the DEFINING event! He was 9 lbs 5 1/2 ounces and had a head circumference of 16 1/2 inches!!!!!!!!! o.O It was so traumatic I didn't feel it! If that makes sense! My 1st child from beginning to end of labor took 1 hour and 55 minutes!!! Thus the tearing. My second was 2 hours and 7 minutes, he would have been born quicker if it wasn't for his head! I still suffer from all of it, I saw my 1st vaginal and rectal therapist about 3 years ago now - 11 years after!!!! and learnt so much! We are NOT alone with all of this, due to the fact that we are having bigger and bigger babies and we are basically built for about 6 or 7lb children. Those extra ounces and pounds can do a LOT of damage! As we know! I and I'm sure everyother woman who has endured what we have, has a dip in her anus! Thus the compaction, and hemorrhoids, and the viscious cycle of tearing and healing etc etc.

That is why I mentioned the thin J like vibrator - due to the fact that I saw a vaginal physio therapist who also did rectal therapy! So I learned this technique and it has been a Godsend! BUT anyone that has had vaginal trauma, needs to find out if this is safe to do at that time!

I suppose that different states have different healthcare plans?! There HAS to be something I can do for you 3LK! I found other people on here places to go when they told me where they lived. I even found a young man a clinic to go to in Guam!!! So if you want me to help you and find you a place to go to I will honey, just need your town and state and I will get cracking for you! I'm on here to help, so if I can take off any weight off your shoulders I will OK? Lots of hugs and health too you both! Bambi - Dawn
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