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Ok first off let me say that me and my girlfriend are both over the age of 18 and have been together for about 2 years but have known eachother about 5. We have been having unprotected sex I guess you could say for the past year (she IS on birth control). Well she is going to school in a different state and I hadent seen her in about 3 months, and I went to go visit her and she told me she had her period and got it Thursday Sept.16 and it ended Sept 21 so we had sex the next 3 days and I left to go back home and she told me that after having sex on the 23rd she had started to bleed but she thought it was because it was "rough" well turns out it was another "period" and she had told me that this is when her normal period should have come according to her pills. Well I had come back again Sept.30 and she still had it and it was gone by Saturday Oct.2nd, this time I was staying a week and we had unprotected sex a few more times and I left again on Oct.10th and she told me on the 13th that she thought there was blood on her underwear but couldn't tell because the color of her underwear but then today the 14th she said she got another "period".

She has been telling me for the last week that she has been feeling weird lately like: her stomach is really round and hard and just doesn't feel right to her, sometimes she just feels like she could get sick (vomit), she has back pains sometimes, craving chocolate, put on quite a bit of weight, and she has been eating white a bit. Now ever since she got her period for the 3rd time in 28 days i have been telling her she needs to see a doctor but she keeps telling me no, so I came here to see if anyone could tell me if something is wrong or if I'm worrying over nothing? And i forgot she did take a home pregnancy test about 3 days ago and it was negative.(not that that means much)

Thanks!

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Firstly, you're not having unprotected sex, which is nice to hear - unless you want a baby - if she's on birth control pills. They are by far the most effective protection (against pregnancy) you can have (barring the words 'not tonight dear'). Condoms have gone from poor alternative to reliable birth control to mandatory in this STD riven age. So now it's Pill, Condom, Plan B (morning after pill) and termination... it's amazing the human race is alive. (US Birth rate, as with Europe also, is 1.6 - we're dying off guys, kick the condom).

As to the rest, I'd have to say you're right: without drawing up a spreadsheet and analysing dates, that all sounds rather chaotic, and if she's getting symptoms and refusing to see a doctor, well, that's her right, but sensible? Not really.

You've obviously tried to be sensible about this. Maybe a trick women learned a long time ago - withholding, I'm not in the mood dear - might work the other way, just be 'concerned' where women can get away with 'sulk' (sorry, hurt and disappointed).

Next time you see her, if you're doing what sounds like a visiting routine, just be courteous, warm, like a brother. Be polite, let her make the first move (if she doesn't well you learned something else), and if she asks what the matter is, just say you're fine, you're just concerned, want to make sure she's alright.

If she dismisses your concern, fine, again, that's her right. But it's your right to offer a little self restraint (magazines, dude, or online - you'll survive), and keep it separate until she figures it out that you're not going to impose, but you're not going to enter into a partnership with someone who appears unwilling to take action to ensure her own well being. This is the potential mother of your children (planned or unplanned). If she won't look after herself, how is she going to look after the children.

If she sulks, and you turn this into an argument, that's a risk: basically, it's an opportunity for you to evaluate what kind of adult, responsible life you want, and what kind of behaviour is reasonable. You care for her, and that's really reassuring to hear. You don't have to reward irresponsibility, if she's not willing to ensure her own well being. If you're being a jerk, well, congrats - join the billion other guys out there. If you're being appropriate and responsible - she may reluctantly concede that yes, maybe she isn't feeling that good, and a trip to the doctor, what can it hurt, just to get you off (or on) her back.
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So could she be pregnant? or is something else wrong? I know its hard to tell but being im so far from her right now its a little hard to "force" her to the doctor.
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Indeed, and I'm glad you included the quote marks. Ultimately only she can decide how to be responsible (or not) about her body.

You do have the right to decide what kind of risks, and what kind of partner, you want to be with however. You don't have to argue, but you do have to be responsible about it: if she's not got her act together on contraception, she's putting you at risk (financially and emotionally) as well as her. Unfortunately, you have to be clear about how far you're willing to go with a girl - not just the sex, but the possible pregnancy, fatherhood, maintenance before you indulge.

Difficult when all that's really on your mind is the sex, but here's where it starts to feel less clever. I'm afraid it sounds like you're just going to have to be patient, and decide where your priorities lie.
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