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I had sex with my boyfriend about a month ago, maybe less. I was supposed to get my period a few weeks ago. I am always so careful when it comes to these things. I made sure we used protection, and he makes sure the condom is not broken everytime we do it. He is very careful as well. He does pull out before he comes. I am vvery mature about things, Ive been with him for over 3 years and we had sex for the first time on May 7th. I also was on birth control until June. I stopped. Could someone please help me with this. Im full time in college, and have a part time job. How could this happen? I am always the person who preaches to people to always be careful. UGH :/ Help me please. And I am one to always stress out.


Well, I have to say that your post comes in pleasant contrast to most of the 'could I be pregnant', 'cos you've certainly gone out of your way to make sure it couldn't happen, and I applaud your boyfriend for his responsibility, while still trying to cut his homones some slack.

The irony is, and I know this won't sound very sympathetic and helpful, but it's actually a compliment, and I hope slight source of strength, that to listen to you and your boyfriend being so responsible, if I was a hovering cupid or stork, I'd be sorely impressed by your care and attention - just about perfect for the kind of diligent care and attention it takes to raise a baby.

How could this happen?

Honey, there's stories to fill a book ... and now you're in one, and making one of your own - story, life, baby, whatever.

Are you really pregnant? You know the drill - home test, clinic, whatever.

Does it matter? To you, now, yes.

It's still your body, whatever happens, and you have the means and the right to terminate, in most western countries.

Personally though, you sound like one of the few sensible, thorough, responsible people that should be having a baby... ain't that something to be scared about!


Thank you very much.

I do take this very seriously, I grew up around people who could care less and I just so happened to hate that, so I went with the higher road.

I feel really crampy right now, but have been for a couple of days. And still no period. I am so terrified, that I don't even want to get a test because I am too scared of the thought of seeing a positive sign.

I know there are other ways to get pregnant, maybe foreplay and such. But, I am so stressed over all of this that I honestly do not know what to think. Or really do.

If I was pregnant, my parents would be in shock, and most likely kick me to the curb. Since they are extremely strict.

I have been looking up early symptoms and I have none, except for a late period.

And headaches but I am sure that goes with my HIGH level of stress.

From what you are seeing me write, do you think I am?


My dear destinee,

I know it's difficult, but I certainly can't offer an opinion

- we're talking whether two tiny cells decided to make out or not... until it's a testable issue, we simply won't know

I know it's a big freaking issue, but the irony and sad thing is, you are the people who are supposed to be getting pregnant, and we, the elders, are supposed to be supporting you - the idea that you're freaking out because you might be, and your parents freaking out if you are, is hardly encouraging for the human race!

I don't know, but if i was god, I'd be pulling my hair out trying to get humans to chill out and celebrate and get their act together!

I'm young enough (ie: still breathing) to remember my university girlfriend, best thing that ever happened to me, sensible, smart, like you in a lot of ways - horrified by the thought of marriage, kids, pregnancy - went out, got a good job, career, and ten years later, she's a proud satisfied mum - they all were so angry at the thought that women should have children, and I remember it like it was yesterday (I'm 50 now, so I've seen all of this, in all its dimensions, but you take me back to that place), yet by the time they were thirty, they'd proved they were smart, and having sworn they'd be different, they finally realised that proving your smart just doesn't matter in the long run, to women, it's motherhood... and a lot of the women who left it too late are just as scared and desperate as you, never did find the guy, never got pregnant, never found the right man, never had the kids, and would give anythin to take it all back and have the child they never had...

... parents can surprise you - if they truly love you, they may be angry, bitter, spiteful, but blood is thicker than water, and when tempers cool, they may be there for you - I wish I could say would be there for you, but they're human too

More importantly, you're an adult - doesn't feel like it in this day and age, but it's true, as is your boyfriend.

Here's a little secret: it's all bs, and it's going to get more bs as time passes: no one older than you has the answers, and I have more answers than most, but they're mine, not yours. You're the next generation, and you'll get up in the morning, do what's right, and live a happy and extraordinary life.

I don't even know you, but from reading your post and reply, I'd say I'd be proud to know you, and I daresay your parents are proud too. You probably aren't pregnant, more's the pity, but either way, it's just life, and you're a strong sensible girl, and your man sounds like a strong sensible lad.

Go for it... you'll be fine.

And take the test - life is and has a lot of shocks - putting them off doesn't change anything, and there's very little out there really to be scared of.... and biggest hint of all: listen to your heart - the universe, quite literally, is hiding in there.

Trust it, and yourself.


The truth of the matter is, I know deep down, I would be an incredible mom. I have always been really good with kids, for example a few weeks ago, my cousin and her mother came over with a little kid(whom I have never met before) and she was adorable. I had only said a few things to her, and set her up in the living room with some cartoons and a juice. Within 30 minutes she found me in another room in the house, climbed onto the couch, plopped down right next to me, and leaned in to me and said, "I want to be with you." Keep in mind this was the first I have met her. She was by my side the entire day, and I always find myself being motherly to all kids I am around. Giving them food and blankets. And everything else. Playing with them. The whole nine yards.

But even with all of that being said, I still do not feel I am ready to be a mom. I just feel like I have SO much going on, but who doesn't? Most pregnancies aren't planned, but most of those are also unprotected.

I really hope I am not right now, because I feel that one day, when I am ready, it will happen naturally. And I will be great. And my boyfriend would be a great dad. But like I said, I am just not ready, and I pray that God sees that too.

I feel like it could even be Karma, from me always scolding those who it does happen to at young age, that are immature and such. And by me judging those I know made a pretty messy mistake, maybe it was time for me to get a slap back. Though I still want to believe that would be out of this world.

I am really glad that you stumbled across my post because you are of such great help and encouragement. And in a way you have comforted me more than the people in my life back home.

I want to wait another week. But maybe I should just get a test.
Just to get the answer.


You truly are a wonderful human being, and a gift to me as much as you've kindly acknowledged my gift to you.

There are mysteries in life, and there are some mysteries that are so wonderful, that they beggar the imagination, and I am in the presence of one of those right now, because far more than you can imagine, I have two decades of experience in the mysterious and mystical, and I can assure you there is no karma, and no God but the loving spirit within you, which is your own personal god, and which is an expression of a connected and extraordinary universe.

The wonderful and mysterious presence that I feel right now is one of awe, to read your words, to see you in those words, and see the room, and you, and the child, and know that we have found together a point of truth, that you deep in your heart would be a warm, a magnificent mom.

You can do no wrong, if you follow your heart, and seek always your own inner strength, and way.

I wish I could see you in thirty years or so - there are tears of gratitude and joy in my eyes - but I will be long gone.

You are the coming generation - enjoy, and god bless!




I feel very similar to you. I would just be devastated at this point in my life to be pregnant. I have started Birth Control two months ago, because one of my biggest fears is getting pregnant before marriage as I see it happen all around me... and like you I criticize those people. Now, I sit here paranoid, of being pregnant, when it's highly unlikely because of my BC pill (which I have taken regularly), however I have loads of symptoms.

I am all worked up over it. I finally brought myself to take a test and I got a negative. It made me feel better for that day but I have kept on having symptoms so I have started worrying again. Could it have been false? I am working myself up so bad because a lot of people on here say they have gotten preg on birth control, etc etc etc. I am most likely crazy, but I would rather be crazy at this pt.

So I know how you feel.



I really cannot thank you enough for the comfort you have brought me, if you were around here, you would be my Buddah, my God. My stone that keeps me strong.

I really am feeling better about everything. I will be waiting a few more days, and if I do not get it by the weekend, I will take a test. And hopefully everything will go good.

I am so thankful for me stumbling onto this site, in search of just an answer, but instead I got comfort and a sense of reality and truth.


And I am happy to see that I am not the only one in this situation. I think that I may be stressing out alot over it and maybe that is why I am so delayed.

Maybe you are just thinking about it again. But then again, if you have alot of the symptoms, you should definatly get another test.

I am terrified enough to get a test. I hope that it comes out negative when I do.


I will message you so we do not take up this entire page as we already have.



... and I've replied, though I don't entirely trust the absence of a send button, so do let me know if you don't have it!


I have not gotten anything, this system is strange to say the least.

Do you go on any social networking sights? (ex. facebook ) something with an easier messaging database.


Sort of - but I'll disclose that in a private message... which hopefully you'll get ...

... by the way, for the record, no one gets pregnant because of foreplay!

Just thought I'd clear that up - of course, if foreplay included penetration,
that would be a different matter, but then it wouldn't really be foreplay, would it?!!!




And you are right, I had actually been looking that up based on something a person had said to me, but she is not one of great knowledge, so I am unsure of why I thought that to be true.


and I have not recieved the message yet.

This website is very difficult.