I might feel normal for a small second, and than feel lame again and get very depressed. Like I just want someone to tell me this will end soon.
I felt fine Friday morning, than bad again during the day. Than that night I felt a little better after playing basketball and watching some movies with my roommate.
When I woke up Saturday morning, I was hoping I would feel back to normal and I did not. I decided its best to get out, and I went on a hike with my friends. The first part of the hike my mind was still messing with me, but right in the middle when we sat down I felt clear again. On the way back I started feeling down again like I will never be ok because I could still feel my heart beating kind of fast and I felt weak.
Right now while I’m writing this I still feel kind of weak and shaky, and not completely the same, and sad about it.
Side notes: I just started college a month ago, and have only smoke like twice. I took a dab of oil one of my first nights here and it was the same experience but worse. The next day I felt shitty until I played basketball and than the rest of the day was ok and I was fine after. I’m in a new part of the state and there are a lot of changes going on for me right now. Could that be apart of the psychological problem? I feel like I understand what’s happening but at the same time I’m worried and I don’t know when this will stop.
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Talk to someone at the campus clinic, do not smoke anymore. It sounds like anxiety maybe or depression but I'm not a doctor. If there are bozo's at the clinic find a psychiatrist.
So, why do I say this? Suicide is rampant on college campuses. You're on your own for the first time and it's hard to adjust for many.
I am not saying you are suicidal. What I am saying is if you try to tough this out on your own that is a big mistake.
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