I am a 22 year old female. I have had anxiety for about ten years. I had a few panic attacks as an adolescent, however was not aware that's what was happening. It was not until my high school psychology class that I realized I had generalized anxiety.
Since, I have smoked marijuana, which, induces panic for me, I've found. I, also become significantly anxious while taking other medications, even those prescribed. Drinking, sometimes, can trigger my anxiety, also, if I feel out of control. I have quit drinking totally. The anxiety has been on and off since. It peaked around my freshman year in college, where I was having minor attacks a few times weekly. I have switched medications and that helps. I requested to remain on a low dose so that I can deal with life, I just need a little help taking the edge off.
I recently have pretty much self-diagnosed myself as moderately agoraphobic. I fear being in enclosed or locked spaces where I cannot escape, lest I have an attack. I am ashamed and embarrassed, and I understand that there is no reason to be. I used to fear being locked in classrooms where I felt I would not be allowed out of the classroom if I were to panic. I, also, have recently had a lot of trouble traveling out of town or being outside. It is especially increased around others, for fear they're judging me or wondering when I will have an attack.
Sometimes, I can push myself out of town to go to something I REALLY want to do. I can travel to neighboring towns, occasionally. Sometimes, after the process of the drive and talking myself into being calm, I don't even have fun. After I arrive at my destination, I can usually relax a little, but still dread the drive home.
This is hindering my life and growth as a person. I am feeling more and more limited. I am only 22 years old and am afraid to have fun!
I've missed such family events as my mother's wedding, family vacation to Spain, friend's weddings, my own roller derby bouts, etc. because I am too afraid. It, to be frank, is starting to piss me off, so I cannot imagine how my friends, family and teammates feel!
I joined a roller derby team in hopes that the knowledge of the team needing me to be strong would help my anxiety and present a healthy way for me to push myself. Not to mention, I am totally in love with it! Also, the exercise does help.
However,. I want to lead a normal life and feel like everyone else. I am tired of making up excuses to get out of situations I'm uncomfortable in. I just want to live my life.
My mother moved to Texas a few years ago. I live in Indiana, and she would really like me to see her new house. However, I'm afraid to fly. She feels if I could just get drugged out of my mind and onto a plane, that would be the best way. However, with my increased anxiety, I'm afraid I would fight the effects of the medicine.. and panic.
It is just a horrible, ugly cycle. I have panic attacks and then fear having panic attacks and avoid doing things because of the fear of having panic attacks and then feel that the anxiety increases every time I make a conscious decision not to do something because of my anxiety, therefore, it usually does.
I do not have health insurance and cannot afford a doctor. I would just like some advice on how to safely push myself out of my comfort zone, and convince myself that I AM OKAY.
Should I drive short distances away from home to push myself? Any suggestions are appreciated.
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Hi, I need to tell you that I relate to much in your post having experienced the same myself. So I do sympathise a lot with you.o.O :-P
About marijuna inducing panic - not to belittle the extent of that, I have found that full fat milk could set my heart rate running much faster. I am careful with stimulants/caffeine containing substances such as coffee. I think the lesson here is to increase your awareness of how different food and drink affects you; does your heart run faster? does your mood drop or climb up? Reducing intake of suspect stuff will help you feel calmer. On the other side of the coin a comforting drink such as hot milk or chocolate may help. Whatever it is, enjoy it!
About you getting significant anxiety from 'taking medicines even those prescribed'. I would counsel you to pay attention to your intuition about these things. I did so myself with one medicine. I trusted my thought response to it and the doctor substituted something else after only 2 weeks taking it. Looking back I can observe memories of taking the problem medicine, how it was affecting my behaviour, it slowed down my response time when driving. Carrying on could have easily put myself and others in much danger.
About the fear of confined spaces. Sit it out. The feelings do not have endless energy, they run out after a while. Tell yourself "This will pass. I am ok. I am safe".
I think the roller derby team sport is a very positive thing for you to do. It's good social through: teamwork, one to one talk and the physical activity helps convert anxiety into well used energy and the raised heart rate helps release endorphins in your brain making you feel good. And you Love it! Trust yourself, you love it, therefore there must things good about it for you, though don't analyse, put a simple trust in that it helps you feel good. You know whats good for you!
Take a few deep breaths when you suspect a panic approaching. The breathing calms you. I was told once by a therapist that the body cannot be anxious and oxhygenating (breathing) at the same time. I noticed in myself that at times I held my breath in reaction to certain events. This starves the brain of oxygen - understandable panic! Try and improve the quality of your breathing, i.e. breath constantly a bit deeper than you might usually do and not very fast or very slow :-P find your own pace of breathing that you're happy with.
With panic there is a sense of hypersensitivity to what's going on inside yourself and it spirals out of control. Practising 'mindfulness' helps to drive down anxiety and turn back panic. You do this by gently scaning your senses and describing what you find. E.g. sight: take a look around the room you are in and pick three things to focus on. Describe each thing you have picked. Don't rush it. Move through the other senses. With this exercise you are anchoring yourself in present reality - the panic monster doesn't like this and runs a mile!
Lastly, I am concerned about how your financial position is disadvantaging you. Locate your local church, go there and ask for someone to talk with. Some churches do offer this kind of help and are trained to be non-judgemental. Don't imagine that churchgoers don't suffer from mental health issues, they certainly do, I'm one of many!
You are OK. You are a perfect example of what you are. This is true on a very deep level. Don't accept anything less!
Kind regards. Philip.
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All i can say is dont drink and drive.Im a 26 yr old Male ,and I have very similar problems but they have been compounded from my 3rd Dui Now I Cant escape things that make me nervous I have to stand there like a dope and wait for my hillbilly neighbor or my mom or dad to end the conversation to get the hell out of there .THey Drive me to and from work.Enyway I have been on Klonapin adderall and effexor. Klonapin is the best and worst thing in this world.It will take away your worries BUT you might find yourself takeing risks it alters ur judgement big time. I Dont take eny meds now I have been through hell jail and now liveing with my parrents getting a ride like im 12. By eny chance are you good looking I wonder enyway my best advice is alwayse leave yourself a way out of every social sittuation whene possiable Good luck .Jake
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