Am I a lesbian??

Shouldn't be ashamed or worried. Everybody, no matter what they say, goes through it. I say give it a shot, if you don't like it you don't like it.

Thanks :) It's just, I have been diagnosed recently with anxiety & OCD, so all my life I have been obsessing over things, like is my hair going to fall out? is there going to be a fire in the house? Am I going to die? Am I attracted to someone in my family? etc (the list is endless)



It just happens that What if I'm a lesbian? is the new topic I dwell on. So could it be my OCD and anxiety that's making me worried? I'm not sure.



I don't think I'll give it a shot, as I don't like the idea. Not the relationship part anyway. But maybe in the future I might experiment sexually depending on how I feel. All I can gather really, is that I'm straight but bi-curious, but it's my anxiety that's making it more than it really is. Could be hormones too I don't know. All I know is that I'm most happy when I'm not thinking about it.



Many thanks again

look girl, don't make that mistake. I know you might be thinking your a lesbain, maybe it does turn you on when you were young. But be with your boyfriend, your boyfriend probably has fantasies too. Spending more time with him would be great. Plus how old are you? If your 16 or younger, don't stress about it. hat's just a natural thinking it... And don't let others bring you down. If your afraid don't do it.  

Hey I'm 17, so I guess it could be due to my age. You're right, all I want to do is be with my boyfriend and no one else, especially girls. It's just my mind is almost convincing me that I want to be a lesbian.. but it's taking over my life so bad, I cried like 4 times today. My parents dont seem to understand, they think that I'm worried about being a lesbian because no one will except me. I keep telling them, NO it's the fact that I just dont want to be one, but I keep thinking about it and it's making me upset. Many thanks again :)

I think the real question is: are you sexually attracted to other girls/women? Unless you are, I doubt you are a lesbian...but you could be in denial about this, as you said, just put that aside and ask yourself whether you do feel like you are attracted to girls. Some women do find lesbian porn a turn on - however, that does not mean you are a lesbian. You could be bisexual - both attrected to girls and boys - in fact, in adolescence, lines of sexual orientation can blur and mix, one's sexuality is not always clear-cut straight or gay, etc. Do you find your sex life with your boyfriend fulfilling? Does he turn you on? I mean if you were a lesbian, you wouldn't find him attractive. There's no need to be ashamed, you could talk to your counsellor about this.

Well, I'm not often sexually attracted women. I do sometimes have the odd fantasy, but in real life I usually think 'Oh, I wish I had her body' or 'I wish I looked like her.' It's usually a hot guy that my eyes follow when one walks by.

Thing is, it's been taking over my life so much recently that I feel I'm in denial. I do find my boyfriend attractive and our sex is great, but ever since I have had all these worries, it's hard to enjoy it as much. It's not the fact I wish to be with a woman, it's just the fact, 'what if' I want to be with one. It's making me feel sick.

I have spoke to my counselor about this recently, as I see her once a week for CBT. She beleive that it's just OCD, which usually questions the opposites of how people feel. She also believes that I wouldn't be getting so anxious about it if I was to be a lesbian. This does comfort me but yet, there's always something lingering in my mind, like: 'what if she's lying to me?' Sounds silly, but when I first spoke out a few months ago my first private counselor said 'no you're not gay, you're just curious, it's very common.' I accepted it's just in m head, but I thought I'd just check the internet and I have been checking ever since, therefore getting many responses. This is bad as I dont know what to beleive, as people have a wide set of opinions. I'm meant to not look at these threads but I cant help it, I just seek reassurance all the time.

Thanks for commenting

You are not a lesbian by the looks of it you are curios about the same sex.

You are totally fine you might have OCD you worry to much I have this problem to I just wanted to say your totally normal just remember your thoughts aren't real and that was a thought

I AM IN THE EXACT SAME POSTION. I am 21, I have never had a long term boyfriend but it is the one thing I want. I genuinely desire to be comfortable and loved by a boy, and I have had sex with men and I enjoyed it, and I am only thinking of men and fantasize about them.
I have never had sex with women, but ever since I was 12 I discovered lesbian porn and gay porn later and they both turn my on. I hardly ever watch straight porn. Also when I was twelve I had sexual truama, where I was pressured into sex too young and it put me off relationships for a long time because I felt I had brought so much shame to my family and I never wanted to be the one responsible for that again.

I have had trust issues with guys and I find that the guys I am attracted to are not kind or nice to me, and the others I have dated was because I knew they liked me and I was trying not to be shallow and trying to be generous and selfless. I put everyone before what I wanted.

Since January I have been in therapy for social anxiety and toxic shame disorders. I would fall for.a hot guy the walked by me, and would think of him sexually. When I see a girl that is attractive it is more "I wish I looked like that" and I would not think of them sexually. I would never think of women I knew sexually but I do think of men I know that way.

I have always questioned myself because I do watch lesbian porn and I have not had the opportunity to be in a relationship with I boy i really liked ever, I considered that the problem is me. But recently I had an experience where I was with my three female friends and we got high and my head was racing and my heart started racing to the.point where I was nauseaus. I want to put this down to the marijuana but it happened because I was thinking that we were going to have sex with each other. Nothing happened and I kept to myself but it has consed my train of thought for thw last few days. Not.us having sex but this IMMENSE FEAR of.me being in denial. I do not WANT to be a lesbian. I want to have a boyfriend, I want a guy with Robert Plant's raw sexuality, a guy that is just hot for once. I want to be with a guy who cares about me and I am so sure and I can be comfortable around him to be myself. I know.if I was a lesbiam I would have full support, that is not where the fear comes from, its that I don't want to be one. It is bringing me to tears too, I am so much happier when I am not thinking about it.

This is so close to my current situation as well! Just found out I have GAD, SAD, and OCD, and I cannot figure out if my feelings and worries are valid or just my OCD!! I don't really think anyone can answer this for you or me or anyone, but support definitely helps, and I think it's great that you feel comfortable talking to your parents about this. I haven't started CBT yet, but I am on Zoloft, and I think it's helping with my SAD, though I don't think with my GAD or OCD yet.
I feel the same way as you, where it's not like I'm homophobic (in fact my half-brother is gay,) but I am scared to be gay. I don't want to be gay (but who would), but it's not the fears of society and coming out etc, as much as it is of me just being gay. One of my strongest desires right now is to have (like sameboat mentioned,) a boyfriend that I really care about, and who really cares about me, and that I can be comfortable with. But SAD especially really gets in the way of that! And the fact that I just turned 20 and have never had a real boyfriend is really starting to bother me, especially when my obsessions come back. Best of luck, hopefully we'll all figure this out soon.

Same Boat. I have been where you are now and it's taken a long time (and yes, I still binge on googling famous lesbians to check if I'm attracted to them) but most days I go all day without this worrying me. It used to worry me every minute of every day and turned me from a happy person to a nervous depressed mess. You are not a lesbian. However, you need to get out of the pattern of asking for reassurance. This won't be easy because its at the root of OCD, which is what you have. Please do more research into OCD and turn find a counsellor who can help you. And find a trusted friend or support group of people with OCD so you can talk about it and realise you are not alone. You aren't because it dominates many lives for a long time. If I can help any more, please let me know. Ps. Don't ask anyone for reassurance other than someone who understands that you have OCD. Otherwise, they might try to get you to come out when that's not the issue here.

It wouldn't matter whether you are or your not... Really its just a label... There is no black or white, and if you are not inlove with a girl, and never have been then what does it matte

I'm not in the same boat, because for my entire lifetime (and I'm only 18) I have always founds guys attractive. But someome mentioned something to me in passing and ever since then I have made myself miserable thinking "what if i'm a lesbian?". I'm about 100% sure that I am not, but I constantly try to find reassurance. I have never found girls attractive in that sense and I don't think I could. I've always been anxious about things, and over stress over little things, so maybe this is just one of those things. But I really want to know why this though keeps irritating me? 

If you ever need to talk, I'm confused about my sexuality too (I'm 15 girl). Message me xxxxx