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I think since about 9th grade when I began High School it all started. It has nothing to do with my school life I know becuz school was pretty ok.. I was not too much of a bully but I never got kicked around.. I was a pretty cool chick. I started home-schooling around my mid-10th gr. year til the end of High School. I'm now 19 turning 20 in the summer, 5months pregnant and getting married in 2wks. With that kind of news alone.. I am very happy .. I love my man, I'm glad we're about to start our new family and life should be good.But I often think about my life, what has happend, what is happening and what's going to happen. I cry alot.. almost everyday. I dont like being around people alot it makes me feel weird.. I know I have self esteem issues as I cry most of the time becuz of that. I use to cut myself and I think the last time was about last month..(but it was small, nothing too deep like the other ones).. but I cant say that if my feelings inside got worse that I wouldn't hurt myself again. I hate the way I feel all the time.. Everything is always negative... 2 thoughts may come by but the negative will always over power the positive.

Why am I like this?
Is this depression?
What can I do?


Please somebody help me .. I dont want to lose my baby or my soon to be husband

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Well, I am certainly not a doctor, but I do have many years of experience with my own depression and my mother's, and I would say from what you're describing that you are definitely depressed.
I think the main factor with clinical depression as opposed to situational depression is that you are down, sad and feeling negatively about things when everything is good in your life and you should be feeling great. This is how your situation sounds to me. Also, when you are depressed, you want to be alone, you don't feel like making small talk with people, you have to force yourself to go out and to socialize, which is something else you are having a problem with. Trust me, you cannot deal with this on your own, you should definitely see a doctor about this as soon as possible. Get the help you need and start your new life off on the right foot, for you, your soon-to-be husband and your new baby.
I wish you all the best.
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