Hi callum, I can really empathise with you. I have experienced 2 bouts of very deep depression and I know how awful it can feel. The first thing you need to know is that depression is not forever. You can recover. It will take work on your part, but you can fully recover and find contentment and happiness in your life. And whatever your problems, most problems are not insurmountable. Depression robs you of your energy and often leaves sufferers feeling worthless and helpless. It is really important to get professional help. Counselling or therapy is really, really helpful. What you have access to depends on which country you live in and how old you are. Commonwealth countries have free or low cost mental health services that you may be able to use. See your doctor for a referral. In the US it probably depends on your insurance, or your parents if you are covered by that. If you are a student you could see your school or university counsellor. Depression is also a disease that thrives on silence and isolation. These make it worse. It is really important to talk to someone about it because you need support. A trusted friend or family member is ideal. I know you don't want to bother friends with your problems, buy that is what real friends are for. I'm not talking about casual buddies or mates. I am talking about a truly trusted friend who will listen, be there for you and not judge. if you don't have someone you can talk to (lots of boys and men don't) then think about a support group for depression, and if you are close to your family talk to one of your parents, particularly if you are a teen and living at home. It is your parents job to help you with this if you ate still a minor. No-one should have to go through depression alone. Apart from therapy and talking to someone else there are other things you can do. Exercise is a great mood booster. So is spending time with friends just doing being silly, watching a funny movie, playing non competitive sport, whatever makes you happy. Meditation or something like yoga or tai chi can be very helpful too. Eating well and avoiding drugs and alcohol are important too. Also, doing something meaningful to you is important. It gives your life purpose, a reason to get out of bed on those days when you just want to wrap yourself in a blanket and make the world go away. I realise all of these things can be hard when you are depressed. Just getting out of bed can be hard. So take things one step at a time. I started by seeing a therapist and exercising more. Gradually I added the other things. Talking to friends and family was really important. As you start to feel better you will have more energy and be better able to make changes to your life and cope with your problems. I used to wake up each morning and dread the day ahead. Now I wake up happy to be alive, looking forward to what the day will bring. I have a wonderful new partner, I am more connected with my friends, have a great new job and am doing postgrad study that in a field that I love. These are all things that have improved in my life after I dealt with the depression. It's not like the depression went away because I fell in love or got a new job. Because I was no linger depressed I was able to seize opportunities that came my way and to be the creator of my life. What I am saying is that it is no good thinking I'll stop feeling like this when 'X' or 'Y' happens. It works the other way around. Your life will improve when you deal with the depression. Also worth considering is that there may be a place for meds if you are severely depressed. But make sure you get therapy too. Meds are not a substitute for therapy but for some people that can be helpful. Good therapy will help you for the rest of your life, ling after you finish seeing your therapist. Meds will only help you as long as you keep taking them. I hope something in there helps. All the best. You have so much to live for.