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Basic Intro

      Hi, I'm now 16 years old and I think I'm probably suffering from some form of depression. I've taken two depression tests online and both gave me the grade moderate-severely depressed. However, I don't think these tests take age into account - are some of the symptons just associated with being a teenager?

Test Results online and weird feelings

    I've posted the results of one of the tests below, and will gladly elaborate or explain any points/questions that anyone may make. Something unusual, however, which I'd like to point out is that I seem to *enjoy* feeling depressed. You know that horrible icy feeling that goes down your spine? I love that, not sure why.

General Overview

    I have very pessimistic/cynical views on pretty much everything. My glass is always half empty. I used to constantly insult all my friends (I felt as though it was just a Joke, but obviously they didn't take it that way.) and now I don't really have any friends. I have massive trust issues -I Hate trusting people with information they can use to hurt you. I only trust probably two or three people on the entire planet. I'm also socially inactive, I don't go out very much, only with a couple of people. I have strange views about life, thoughts such as these: There are 7 billion people on the planet, not all of them can be happy. I'll smoke 1-2 cigarettes a week, It doesn't matter if it's harming me because I'll probably get cancer and die anyway - 1 in 3 people get it. Just really cynical views like that. I always like listening to sad music, melancholy tunes with a piano or guitar.

     I'll be ruthlessly honest, I'm a sexually deprived 16 year old. I'm not saying I only want sex; quite the opposite in fact, but a lot of the time I beat myself up about it, trying to convince myself that I'm not good enough, or don't deserve a girlfriend. Why would they like me? Things like that.

What's weird

     Something strange though is I seem to enjoy being like this. Yes, it feels horrible, but I enjoy feeling horrible. I enjoy not trusting anyone, I enjoy being quiet, I enjoy sitting in the corner silently, hiding in the shadows of a room. I'm happy with feeling depressed, even if it's hurtful sometimes.

 

Q. Little interest or pleasure in doing things

A. Nearly every day

 

Q. Feeling down or depressed or hopeless

A. Nearly every day

 

Q. Trouble falling or staying asleep or sleeping too much

A. Nearly every day

 

Q. Feeling tired or having little energy

A. Nearly every day

 

Q. Poor appetite or overeating

A. Several days

 

Q. Feeling bad about yourself or that you are a failure or have let yourself or your family down

A. Nearly every day

 

Q. Trouble concentrating on things such as reading the newspaper or watching television

A. Not at all

 

Q. Moving or speaking so slowly that other people could have noticed. Or the opposite, being so fidgety or restless that you have been moving around a lot more than usual

A. Not at all

 

Q. Thoughts that you would be better off dead or of hurting yourself in some way

A. Several days

 

Q. If you checked off any problems how difficult have these problems made it for you to do your work take care of things at home or get along with other people?

A. Not at all

 

Q. If you checked off any problems how difficult have these problems made it for you to do your work take care of things at home or get along with other people?

A. Not difficult at all

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I have 30 years experience with this.  Please print this post and make an appt with a good therapist.  Your doctor may have a good referral or contact NAMI.  I don't diagnose people on the internet but my unprofessional opinion is get help now.  You may be referred to a psychiatrist for evaluation.

*Anytime you have thoughts of hurting yourself get help now.*  If you are having suicidal ideation then your situation is an emergency.

One last time, get help now, right now.  Just the act of starting to look for help is the beginning of the cure.  OK?

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