Sometimes, my anxiety gets so bad, I start contemplating suicide but then I just think of the life I want and the people I'll leave behind so I just start harming myself. Counselling doesn't work but idk what to do. I just need help. My anxiety has left me being terrified of being or becoming a lesbian and wondering if my kids will be normal or if they'll suffer from any disabilities and various other things. I also worry about not being able to have children and when I'm a few days late, I assume I'm pregnant, even though I'm a virgin. Thinking the way I do, has killed me and I just need to be normal again. Another fear I have is my kids seeing my scars and hurting themselves. My head is one big contradiction.
I tell myself to not worry because I know I'm straight but two minutes later, it's like this voice in my head is saying, 'no, you're not straight' and it's really hard and horrible. This is probably just my way of ranting but I need someone to talk to. And I always say it's easier to confide in a stranger, so if anyone could help, I'd be very grateful.
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Hey myx, listen I can connect with what you're going through, i know what its like to feel so lost and confused, like you don't know who you are anymore, i even used to cut myself, and every single day i find myself wanting to do it again but i somehow manage to resist. Listen i know things are hard but you have to stop worrying so much. Life isn't about things going your way, and believe me when i say I've learned that lesson the hard way. Life is about making the best out of what you can. We're all human and bad things are going to happen. We're going to make stupid mistakes, we're going to hurt people we care about and never meant to hurt, we're going to get confused and lose our way, but when it comes down to it, its not worth hurting yourself over. I lost the love of my life this week because i made a stupid decision and a stupid mistake and right now i honestly want nothing more than to give up, to make it all go away, but you know what? there's always some hope, and life will always go on. sometimes, you can't plan, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to get hurt, but you know what? you'r going to have those amazing moments you're never going to forget and that will be with you forever, you just need to take a deep breath and try to relax. You are who you are. Don't try and be different. stress can really make you think things that aren't real. Sometimes its best to just breathe, and relax, and tell yourself you're going to be okay, and the truth is, that you really will be okay. i know you will. so don't harm yourself and stop worrying so much about the future, if you ever need to keep talking, I'll be right here with you :) im going to keep a sharp eye on you and your profile :) don't worry, i went through my hard times alone, i'm not gonna let you go through it alone either. There is always hope, so don't lose it :) hope i managed to help you a bit! :)
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I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through this week, but from what you've said above, you seem strong enough to get through it. Thank you so much though! You've made my day, and I hope you feel better soon. Everyone deserves that much. I'm here if you ever need to rant. :-)
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