Anxiety/panic attacks from alcohol withdrawal - part 2

My story is similiar to all of yours so I won't go there except for what happend recently. I vowed to quit drinking but I still thought I could get away with a few social drinks after work. Wrong. I had less than 6 beers over a 5 hour period plus I had a big dinner.

The next day the terror started once again I thought oh know I'm hypersensitive to this c**p, had two beers to calm down after lunch. This worked for a short while but by 5pm the terror started again...had 3 more beers...this worked for a while then more terror. Drunk half a bottle of port fell asleep woke up sheer terror, drunk the other half of port this worked for a while until the bottle shop opened and bought a six pack and drank it slowly over the next whole day trying to ween myself. Went to bed and at 9pm woke at 11pm didn't sleep for the rest of that night.

I lasted till lunch time the next day and had 3 more beers at the pub then bought a 6 pack, drank three and finally fell asleep after being awake 24 hours. I vowed to never drink again. The terror hit around 7pm the next day (this is 3 days since the initial 6 beers) I looked at the 3 beers left sitting in my fridge and walked out the front door and left the beer behind then started running, I ran and ran, it was the hardest thing I've ever done the withdrawal hell (I ran 19km that night, the furthest I've ever run).By the time I got home the WITHDRAWAL panic had stopped it, was 11pm at night. I went to bed without drinking tired but calm.

I've withdrawn so many times now that I'm hypersensitve...I was OK for years but the hungover's turned into 'I'm dying' what hell. I used to drink up to a whole bottle of hard alcohol a night in some binges the last few ended in me feeling like I was dying, now 6 beers gives the same reaction. I'm not mean't to drink anymore I ruined it by going to hard.

At 38, I have been drinking for many years and it slowly developed into an everyday thing.  For several years I was drinking rum and averaged 3 drinks per night (the way I poured them that equals about 12 beers).  For the poast year or so I had stepped up even more to pretty much a 750 per night.

I never drank during the day and never missed work or anything, but the anxiety really started to grow.  After a trip to the ER they sent me home with an Ativan pill and told me I had an anxiety attack.  I didn't really believe them and thought it must be something else.  I knew I was boozing too much and started to cut down over the next month even going a week without, but the anxiety didn't seem to go away.  Even after only a couple drinks I would feel terrible the next day.

I decided I had to stop.  It's been 5 weeks without a drink and the anxiety seems to be getting worse instead of better.  I didn't really have any serious withdrawals at first (one night of sweats and tossing and turning) and I've been sleeping great since.  The cravings have been easy to control, but...

The anxiety continues and I can't tell if it's getting better or worse.  It's not constant, but pretty close.  I feel lightheaded and dizzy and numbness in my left arm pretty much all the time. 

Going for a walk or any physical activity helps for a little while, but it always comes back.

When does it end? 

To the guy above.

Have you tried HARD excercise to the point where you spend your evenings with a calm physical exhaustion? going for a walk does not cut it.

Sprints, heavy weights etc.

I'm doing 20km runs with sprints thrown in. Then do a heavy weights session with deadlifts/squats/overhead press all before work. I get up at 430 am. Leave for work at 730 am. By the time it gets to the evening I feel drunk with exhaustion. No alcohol required.

I've read a lot of these and I guess I'm like most everyone else but with a lot more history because I am older.  I don't drink as much now as I used to but as I get older (50 now) I find that drinking less affects me more.  I've been drinking to some degree ever since I was 18, everyone in my family does and I do too.  None of us are what you would consider dysfunctional alcoholics but we do drink.  I was diagnosed with GAD back in 2004, probably a result of my dad's developing Alzheimers in 2002 and PTSD from a horrible car accident in my yard that resulted in two kids being torn to pieces..  I went through CBT which helped but I found that the anxiety and racing thoughts and near panic rarely went entirely away.  I decided against medication because of the side effects I experienced with Remeron (mistakenly prescribed by a GP for depression) but I always drank beer in the evenings and on weekends to self medicate.  I've also tried vitamins and other approaches, with limited success, except I did find out that vitamin D3 does help, as does B12. Once the panic attack at work was so severe that I tried to drive myself to my doctor's office 20 miles away thinking I was having a heart attack.  I stopped alongside the road at one point with my phone ready to dial 911 but made it, the EKG was normal and they fitted me with a heart monitor for a week, which didn't indicate any problems, of course.  In 2009, my dad finally died from Alzheimers and that sent me into a tailspin.  6 months later after horrid problems with racing and horrible thoughts as well as anxiety and panic, I went to grief counseling, which was very helpful, but not the total answer either.  Meantime, I continued to drink, not excessively to the point that I was impaired at work or socially, but steadily.  Oddly enough at some point, I found that driving on a highway would bring on panic that was nearly debilitating, and this was very hard to overcome, especially with family in the car on the way to vacation recently.  Recently, my stress level increased due to my 18 year old son doing what 18 year olds typically do and work becoming more and more difficult, and it started to affect me sexually with my wife.  I finally decided something was horribly wrong medically, diabetes, low testosterone, SOMETHING, so I went to the MD a month ago for a full physical and everything is perfect....extensive bloodwork found nothing wrong, my BP was 104 over 60, perfect health.  I started reviewing my life and history and after a significant case of panic last saturday morning after 7 or 8 beers friday night, I decided to research the affects of alcohol and anxiety and bingo....I found all of this.  I had a large beer saturday night with dinner, had one sunday while fixing dinner, and it tasted terrible.  I haven't had one since and I feel terrific by comparison to previously.  Of course, I'll have some beer now and again at festivals etc and will probably have more experiences of panic/anxiety/guilt illness when I feel bad the next day, but at least I will know what it is, and that is most of the battle.  Knowing what it is and how to potentially control it is extremely important to me.  Also knowing that I really don't have to drink anything to feel better and have a good reason not to is very helpful.  I hope this helps someone down the road as much as some of the other stories have helped me.  

Thank GOD for this blog, thank the person who started it, thank EVERYONE SINGLE ONE of you for contributing and thank goodness for the internet!

I thought I was going insane and the only one experiencing all these symptoms and didn’t know what was going on with me, or how to deal with it, and finally made a connection between drinking and the horrible days after but could find absolutely no information on it except ‘people who have anxiety tend to drink more to relieve it’ ….huh? that was not me, I was never anxious in my life except for the normal stuff. But I kept researching and found this blog and now I know what is wrong with me and as another contributor stated that is “half the battle” – now I have a fighting chance at least!

I drank my whole life with no issues except hang-overs and the f’d up drama/mis-judgements that can ensue. None of that deterred me from drinking. I love wine, I’m a TOTAL wino, I live in California with the best wineries in the world, member at my local wine bar,  most all my friends drink wine with me, it is my lifestyle. We drink wine at church and Jesus’s first miracle was wine!….I always said I would never quit. Guess what? Someone had other plans for me and I’m DONE! Thanks to this blog, it saved my life and my family!

Like I said, I drank my whole life, moderate wine drinker with many binges in-between regular drinking. Then, either the worst decision or the best decision – depending on how you want to look at it – I gave up wine just for Lent. That was fine, started to feel  good and didn’t miss the headaches and foggy head in the mornings after drinking too much wine.  Had fun and did all the same stuff, just without drinking because I knew I would be back at it by Easter. WOW, was I wrong. After Lent I was back in the game, drinking our fine wines with the best of them, but now I was getting sick on much, much less. My body took it hard, I was sore and achy and then BAM – friggen full blown anxiety and I didn’t know what the Hell (and I mean HELL) hit me. I thought the achiness and the anxiety was coming on with age, but I kept going back to the fact that this all started since Easter.  Experienced almost every symptom described here so I won’t go into all that – except what a comfort it was to know I was not alone.

I read each and every post. Someone mentioned how when they realized they had to quit drinking it was like losing a best friend…omg I was totally depressed for like 3 straight days kinda thinking I had to stop drinking because of the mental misery it seemed to create in me. And I thought of it as a friend I would never see again and I didn’t know how I could do it and used it as an excuse to drink again because I still wasn’t entirely sure it was the drinking – my mind would let me doubt and that opened the door to drink again.

Another post of an army ranger mentioned that he had been shot at in Panama and the anxiety attacks from alcohol withdrawal were WAY WORSE! OMG if that does not speak volumes right there! Another mentioned how as soon as you realize you have to stop drinking your mind goes straight to all the plans you already have that include drinking – like meeting up with friends Friday night, vacation, blah blah blah…I totally relate to that as well. I would usually end up drinking, and NOW my best friend is getting married in Cancun and the plans are to go “off the hook” partying for a week! Not sure how I’m going to deal with this one! I’m literally scared, but know I can’t drink because I probably won’t be able to handle the airports, airplane travel in my state of anxiety.  Ugh, I’m scared I’m going to blow it! Another memorable post that helps me keep it real is when someone posted that he can’t even cruise around with his friends without trippin…that is exactly how it is, you cant do the normal stuff you’re used to doing, instead it’s a huge mind struggle and your trapped in a paranoid freak-show of the mind in looming insanity and impending doom. How do you walk around normal with all that going on in your head?

To the recent post that said he has been going on 5 weeks and still feels the anxiety. Exercise yes, but also you have to give up coffee and cigarettes if you smoke. And I suggest eating healthy too especially food that provides all the vitamins and nutrients others have mentioned.  One of the other posts, after 10 months of not drinking said that the only symptom he has left is a sore neck, omg, I have a constant sore neck too and now made that connection as well!

When I started to feel normal again after 2-3 days, I used to think I could go drink again because I felt normal and thought I could do it because that was my normal thing to do – drink wine. Now I know, and now I remind myself by having a strong cup of coffee and getting just the slightest anxiety, then I remember – you’re stuck  - its always waiting for you and if you think last time was bad – there is more to come unless you change something NOW. I never thought I would stop but it is now a reality to me that I must! Bitter sweet but thank you everyone!

It’s so much a part of the mind and the chemicals and the withdrawl, but I guess because of my religious background I see a spiritual struggle here too! My ‘spirit’ (that thing deep down in me) knows I can’t drink but my mind finds ways to tell me I can. My ‘spirit’ feels ashamed, depressed, paranoid after drinking…why? My mind and environment never let me think anything was wrong. Its like I’m at war with myself…but why? Take this as what it is: just my personal feeling about this: I think we are somehow being called away from all this drinking c**p so we don’t die drunks. The choice is laid flat before us and we have no option to ignore it – I will either have to drink constantly (to stave off the pain and anxiety from drinking) or give it up all together. Someone (God?) cares very much which one I choose…why? I don’t know but I hope to find out someday – but not too soon lol. This is a total wake-up call and a blessing! I haven’t really shared any of this yet with anyone (except here of course), I’m just getting used to my new reality myself.

From the posts from over a year ago, I wonder where they are all now? I wish them and all of us the very best life has to offer!

 

 

 

 

From the 5 week guy above...

It's going on 8 weeks now and I have seen steady improvement the last couple of weeks.  I still have some headaches and the occasional light anxiety, but I feel "Normal" again - like I'm just not feeling well - not like something is terribly wrong and I'll never be "Normal" again. 

I suppose the timeline is different for everyone based upon their history, so best of luck to all - there is an end to the misery.

BTW, I've never attended AA or anything, but you always hear about the 90 day mark.  My plan is to make the 90 days (about 35 days to go) and then try a beer or two and see what happens.   I'm hoping for somewhat of a system reset!  I plan to stay away from the hard stuff for good though.  It was never the beer with my buddies during the football game that was the problem - it was the rum when I got home.

 

To the 5 & 8 week guy above.

At the 4 week point I stopped wanting a drink and started to feel normal feelings again. Prior to my four weeks alccohol free I had cut down so I think thats why mine was shorter. I nearly called AA on my third day of detox I'm glad I didn't I wanted to do it by myself. Even in the fourth week I felt bad.

I'm terrified of the 'feeling like I'm dying' feeling when hungover, that is a huge motivator LOL! keep it up 5 & 8 week guy. I don't know how long I will put off drinking again, at the moment I don't know if I will ever drink again. I like the feeling of not relying on alcohol and being able to drive without worring about drink driving.

Time to hit the deadlifts and squats.

I'm glad to see people are continuing to post and share experiences. I find it really helpful to know I'm not alone.  

I've been drinking since I was a teenager. In my 30's I started drinking moderately every night. At around age 40 I started drinking heavily. I'm 47, now. Would go on binges resulting in hangovers but not withdrawal symptoms. Well, those days are over. I've experienced withdrawal many times in the last two years. It's gotten to the point that one night of hard drinking and, bam, back to square one every time. Only it gets worse each time.

Yeah Kindling is what happened to me

I would not consider myself that much of an alcho but I get this very bad.

Time almost stops when withdrawing, I really think tapering is the best way and then you have to cahnge your life completely. Heavy weights and running really help, I don't mean going for a walk I mean deadlifts and squats plus 20 km runs will give you a healthy drunk feeling at the end of the day. Eat good to and maybe work out why you drink. Good Luck it is hell withdrawing.

Hi everyone,

It looks like this thread has been quiet for a while. i read at least 100 of the posts, and have experienced all the same things with panic attacks from alcohol withdrawal. I drank heavily almost everyday (8-10 drinks) for about 8 years. I really didn't know too much about alcohol withdrawal, but I did eventually realize I was an alcoholic. After drinking nearly cost me my job, I had to get some help. It was the only way to not get fired.

I got some help thru AA and outpatient rehab and stayed sober for 18 months. After about 2 weeks of sobriety, I could barely even notice the anxiety feelings that plagued me during my drinking days. After a couple months of being sober, they were a distant memory. So, I believe for most people, these feelings and attacks will eventually go away -- if you can just moderate or eliminate your drinking.

After 18 months, I felt like I was capable of drinking again, and after about 2 months I was right back at rock bottom. I wound up losing my job because of it. It's an awful feeling of guilt, failure, and shame to relapse, even though they tell you it's a part of recovery.

Sorry to be lengthy, because I really only wanted to make a couple points:

Quitting cold-turkey from extended alcohol-abuse is DANGEROUS. As we all know, you can have panic attacks. But it's really difficult to tell in the moment if its a panic attack or something that could result in a Grand Mal seizure and then you die. Sorry to be frightening. I'm sure alot of you know this, but I only saw it mentioned once in all the posts that I read, while seeing many, many posts about quitting cold-turkey or plans to do so. So I beg you to research the risks associated before before doing it.

Second, If you don't want to go to the doc/rehab to detox, read about the harm-reduction method: http://hamsnetwork.org/taper/    It explains how to taper down, so that you won't have as much anxiety or attacks while reducing your dependency. This doesn't work for me, because I can't ever get down to the point where I eliminate it completely. I get very close, but then the pendulum swings back up. However, it might work for someone who has more will-power than me. Just an option.. may not work, but safer than white-knuckling it cold-turkey.

Thanks for reading and God bless. Please, please pray for yourself and all those who suffer from addiction and anxiety. We need all the help we can get to conquer these awful afflictions.

hey there - i know this was over a year ago - i would like to know how you're doing right now.

I've cut down to 2-6 beers a day. Had some good times and bad. Alcohol may have stuffed up my brain chemistry longterm or I'm just anxious. I drank because I was anxious in the first place. At the moment everyday time is slow and the anxiety is hell.

I'm very careful not to drink heavy anymore and stick to a few beers. I would love to be the old me again. I've been to AA now and a year ago I would of said I'm an alcohol abuser now I would say an alcoholic as the people in AA had the same stories as me (and it can get much worse, people have lost kids and families)

I don't like AA, but have have to give the people credit for quitting drink for years.

What a mistake to ever drink. I plan to post a success story here in the future.

Wodi is Woddy ^

hey there. fisrt off - i'm grateful i've found these posts. all the encouragement and information is the reason why i have decided to quit from my drunk self. i would like to share my experience.

i'm 26 and i'm a frontwoman in a punk rock band. they say sex-drugs n rock n roll - but i say it's all bullsh!t. how many exapmles do we need? from kurt to ozzy, who probably ain't got too much for himself left. i've been only heavy on the stuff for about three years now. though for the past two i've put myself on beers, since the hard liquors turned me into a social w****. i'd be running around and talking and giving out compliments, flashing people, kissing strangers, interrupting and stumbling all over the place. now it's cute and all when it's a party, but in a music business there's no such thing a party. your lifestyle is your business and you really can't make that big shot expencive guy to take you seriously when you're prancing around like a sixteen year old drunk school girl. good thing my band kind of shielded me from too much of an indecent exposure.

i've been taking up to as much as i can handle during the span of the day. sometimes i would go for two or three for some days in a row, then i get myself into some sort of a situation, get drunk, pass out (hopefully remembering something the next morning), wake up, get four to start the day off, make a run to a beer store (where they know me like i'm their best friend) - i call it a walk of shame, get ten or twelve tall light 4% beer cans (because my drinking sasha inside tells me it's OK if it's light), get back home and sit on my ass doing some useless stuff 'till i pass out again. and it would go for a week at least in those binges. i'll manage to get the sh!t done too, untill i have to wind down due to my rooms starting to spin like a twister on a rollercoaster.

for the past two years i've got to know the cop's and paramedics' names by heart. always disturbance. we even used to have a little chat before i get cuffed. they always took me to that mental ward, where they take all the drunk people and try to determine which one of them is not crazy. they way they do it here in canada is very funny - you have to sit on a plastic chair for about ten or twelve hours before someone sees you. when you're intoxicated - coming down without a smoke at least, or a coffee, or some decent water supply is a nightmare. add to it the real mental patients around, screaming and banging their heads, add to it the nurse and security stuff who just don't have any respect for your drunk self - you've got yourself a good looking hell. the last time was prticularly bad, i thought i'd explode. when i got out - the first thing i did was to go to a bar next door and get drunk again. i am happy i have never been arrested and i am so grateful to my luck. i am terrified to get into any of that again.

after that last experience it's been almost six months that i have been hiding my alcohol and hiding myself when drinking. which lead me to a nasty situation where i don't get out much, unless it's a social sitch where i absolutely have to make an appearance. when i can drink and there would be no band members around. i've lied to my folks that i've stopped, too. i've lied to everyone that i'm almost done now and the only reason i'm drinking at that particular point is 'because it's been such a busy week and it's just the right thing to do blah blah blah'. and it was kind of working out 'till one day i just couldn't stop drinking. i'm on my third week of binge, i manage to take care of things in a half-foggy way. strange thing sometimes happen - i would slowly get through can after can, then i have to go out and i would feel sober all over again, would party up with another six and then pass out home. i'd be very careful to get home before i can slip into a total black out, too.

i was trying to cut down for the past few days. i've managed 10-12 a day. my time before the system crash during me being awake is roughly two hours. after that i get a surreal feeling of being rusty and light-headed. but i don't feel the pain yet. i do get slightly paranoid though. then i would make a go for another few. it's hard at night - because i can't sleep at all. my eyes would close for some seconds then i'd jump up with a feeling there's a ticking bomb in my chest. sweating and panthing, every pain leads me to believe that i'm about to croak. now, i know it hadn't happen to me yet, and i know i've been through withdrawals for three weeks now, so i keep on being a restless dummy, 'till i get enough of that suffering and my sweat doesn't stink like booze as much, and stumble across till i hit the fridge. i'd take up another three-four and then finally i don't have the pain no more and can fall asleep. i will wait between 8 and 1.30 at night. will hit the bed at 4 after my doze. it repeats itself the next day. i eat a little after 6-8 cans during the day. i am also becoming agarophobic. in a weird way though - i can't bare to go to a long distance with people being all around me, or being stuck on a subway, and i have a weird feeling that i will literally 'fall off into the sky'. it's just anxiety, i know, i am just sharing.

i am cutting down till this thursday. thursday i am going away up north to a cottage away from any noises and distractions, going almost cold turkey. i hope to score some valium before, if i do - i will go cold. but probably, i'd just hide a few cans. i will get through the worst part of it on my own. vitamin C, Vlerian root, water water water, soup, cheap comedies and slap stick cartoons.

i find square breathing only helpful for mild anxiety. meditation hasn't worked for me, exercise is dangerous during withdrawals and hungovers. yoga - sun salutation in particular - is a very effective way to get away from a panic attack. but you're screwed if you're in public. keep that valerian root and eat two as soon as you feel you're starting to get one. breathe. you won't die. and there's whole bunch of us here who have gone/going through it. i'm sure if you have those attacks and you're not drinking - you've already got checked out by your doctor and handling it much better than we are.

the worst part of it is - i want to quit, but i don't want to stop. i want to get straight again, but i would like to be able to enjoy my drink in the future, when i'm not so dependant. the worst-worst part of it - both my folks and my band will not have me drinking anything at all. it's a make it or break it kind of sitch. and waking up for another day of this nightmare is seriously not worth the buzz.

i will check back with my experience after i've gone through my plan.

thank you - and good luck.