Anyone Else Getting Butt-ugly During Menopause?

Totally agree if you want to dress sexy do it! I'm 54 and because I'm not an old Fuddy Duddy and people don't think I look my age because of my attitude to life and how I present my self.

I'm recovering from a face lift.. I'm kidding my self.. Spent billions but over all I'm still me. I'm still 54 and I guess still look it. You can't hide your body

Sooner or later its coming to you too

Good advice Feisty (for some women) - however for those women who are experiencing a truly hideous menopause with all symptoms, 'taking good care of yourself' etc etc does not change one thing. The loss of estrogen etc can be devastating to the mind and body.

And the last thing they feel like doing is SMILING.

hmm... dress sexy in 50s? I don't think so. Surely 'age appropriate' dress is the way to go - classy, elegant, well cut clothes that are never frumpy - mutton dressed as lamb is not a good look - and mothers dressing in the same style as their daughters.

Aged 53. I've been Fighting with constant weight gain since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 10 years ago (I am now a size 20 top 16 bottoms when I use to be a size 12 top 10 bottoms ) . As well as general exercise shopping housework walking etc I do an additional 1.5 hours exercise 5 days a week I don't eat fatty foods and avoid chocolate and sweets although I have the occasional relapse (once every few weeks) and may eat 2 chocolate bars in a day! I eat plenty of fruit and veg.
I look more like a 70 year old my skin is always red and when I get hot flushes I sweat with them which is unsightly and uncomfortable.
I use collagen creams and have a strict routine of cleansing and moisturizing my face but despite all this I have ugly deep wrinkles.
I know being 'fat' or 'old' does not automatically mean you are ugly - Dawn French is an older bigger person and she is beautiful but I really am UGLY!

Ladies, be more positive...please.Just forget about menopause and BE happy:)

First off: Go to a doctor who will give you hormones without treating you like a heroin addict. And, request Estrace for your vaginal dryness. You will also have to take Progestin if you still have your uterus, and if you need to find an other doctor to prescribe it, do it. The system is so biased in favor of men, who find it easy to get viagra and testosterone.

Simultaneously, begin taking antioxidants and probiotics, like above guest recommended, and do not eat anything that has ingredients you can't pronounce or readily identify as a food. Real food only--lean meats, fruit, vegetables, legumes, limit your grain intake and lay off the processed food. Replace sugar with Stevia. I recommend Michael Pollan's book, "Food Rules" (It has a subtitle I cannot remember) It is short, easy to use and will show you how to eat for health and healthy aging. Drink a lot of water.

And, most importantly--GET UP AND WORK OUT!! Start walking and progress to running. And, it is CRUCIAL to do an hour of strength training a day--weights and metabolic conditioning classes. Join a gym.

If you can afford it, find a good cosmetic dermatologist--hit up that as****e ex of yours for some treatments. Not too much. Fraxel lasers for firming, fillers, a little botox--just a little, and get a couple of lifts--boobs, tummy, butt. But, working out is a must. Use a humidifier if your home is dry.

And, most helpful for me, yoga. Yoga and meditation. Find a yoga studio that is accepting and respects where you are in your practice.

As for men growing old beautifully--that is a cultural construct. It is not actually true. Have you ever had sex with a man over 55? They think they are great and they talk a good game, but most of them cannot get it up without a pill. They are sluggish and their refractory period is ridiculous. And they do not look great either. Take a good luck at Roger Moore in James Bond. He was sold as a sex symbol and he was a saggy bag of bones, always making out with young girls. Ugh. Gross. So, ask yourself, do you really want that to f**k you? Ugh. I would rather take a trip to Amsterdam and buy a young hot male prostitute--and they are legal and tested for disease on a regular basis, and hell, why the hell not?

But, you know, this assholishness in older men is not international. European men have a much better attitude about older women than men in the US. The last time a man told me he wanted a woman 20 years younger I told him I respected that. I then told him, I understood where he was coming from and that I myself just wanted a man my age who could f**k me like a frat boy. They know they can't, and they are stupid to think the young woman on his arm is in it for his sexual prowess. So, when you encounter these men, be an as****e back. Make them invisible. Ignore them. If some young woman makes a comment about your age, tell them you do miss being as young and fresh as she is, and if she looks 25, say, "What are you, 29-30?" If they are 35 shoot about 10 years older.

Be gracious and kind until you encounter an as****e, and then give it back. But do it Southern-belle-style, with grace and sugary sweet non-chalance--as if you were paying the tinsel tit a sincere compliment. It's called a back-handed compliment. A case in point: a-hole who was my age and a jerk and bully married to a younger woman who was a high-power business woman. He stayed at home with the kids. And that is great if he were not such a jerk and always bragged about his upper 1% lifestyle. One day he was shooting off his mouth and I said, "Well, your wife must be doing very well." I could see him shrivel in front of me. It was very gratifying, and to be honest, it just came out of my mouth without me thinking. It's my deep Southern roots. I need to channel my Southern-Belle more.

There is a guy at my yoga studio who is 63 and fairly hideous. He recoils at older women because he is an as****e. At my gym, same thing, and I am so much hotter than they are! So I stand next to all the guys who are my age and rub it in their faces that they can't keep up with me--in fact most of the young people can't either. After everyone else stops and has to bend over to catch their breath, I jog and place and stare down the middle-aged man-b***h who snubbed me in the lobby. They are old, tired, out of shape, and it is too late for them to catch up with my ass, because my ass is fine, and yours can be too. Get up and do it. Seriously

No, but you can get off your butt and work out and change your diet. Join a gym--or start running and buy some weights. Half hour of cardio a day--work your way up to 3 miles of jogging or running. And 1 hour of weight training a day. If you can spend all that cash on plastics, you can afford a gym and a trainer. DO YOGA!!!! I have work study at a local studio. And, I cannot recommend highly enough, young male prostitutes in Holland who are certified disease free by the Dutch government. Why not objectify men? They do it to us. Tell your doctor you have severe hot flashes and get ye some hrt and Estrace for your dry vagina, and go get some young flesh.

If I want to dress too young for my age, that is my business. I don't need anyone's approval. Stop being judgy. How other women dress is not your business. Nor is telling a woman she should smile. LOL Your right is not everyone else's right. You must be from the Midwest.

Forget about menopause with hrt, exercise, a change in diet, a good dermatologist and having sex with a young disease-free-government-certified male prostitute in Holland. Why not and why accept it without a fight? You accept it without a fight. That is your prerogative.

All this defeatism is a drag.

Why not have all women over 50 put to death rather than going through this nasty evil process of suffering. Better to die in peace and end the torment.

i love your note and experiences. I would love to talk to you. If you ever come back on this forum could you contact me?

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thanks you are so brave

having fibro sucks. I was laying here last night thinking why am i never happy. Well your note states it all. I would love to chat if you ever come on this forum again. I am 56 and i feel like i want to roll over and die. Literally. Love to talk! BARB WILD