I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months. For the first 4-5 months we were very sexually active, 4 - 6 times a day. I think we were both a bit starved of sex for a while so I expected it to calm down a bit eventually and it did to around 2 times a day, which is fine. However n the last month when we've been together we've only had sex every other day.
We live a bit of a distance away from each other so only see each other for 2-3 days every 2 weeks.
Last week we spent 4 days together and we talked about it. He told me that he's had very little interest in sex for the last 2 months. He still gets very hard and still cums when we do have sex but he told me that lately he's always tired and not as interested in sex as he used to be and it bothers him. It bothers me too because it makes me feel less attractive but he's assured that is not the reason. He also gets head spins when he comes which is a bit concerning.
I think it could be stress related due to the fact that he changed jobs about 3 months and the market he's in has been very slow since he moved due to the holiday period. He's not earning a lot at the moment and it's very difficult for him. This is not a problem for me because I don't care what he earns and I earn enough for both of us but I think it may be a problem for him.
Could this be related to his loss of libido and if so, what can I do to help, if anything? I'm a bit scared and I'm not as confident as I used to be that he's as into me as he was 5 months ago but I'm still as into him, even more so and I don't know how to handle this situation.
Has anyone been through this kind of thing before and if so, any advice you have is extremely welcome.
Thanks.
JoJo.
We live a bit of a distance away from each other so only see each other for 2-3 days every 2 weeks.
Last week we spent 4 days together and we talked about it. He told me that he's had very little interest in sex for the last 2 months. He still gets very hard and still cums when we do have sex but he told me that lately he's always tired and not as interested in sex as he used to be and it bothers him. It bothers me too because it makes me feel less attractive but he's assured that is not the reason. He also gets head spins when he comes which is a bit concerning.
I think it could be stress related due to the fact that he changed jobs about 3 months and the market he's in has been very slow since he moved due to the holiday period. He's not earning a lot at the moment and it's very difficult for him. This is not a problem for me because I don't care what he earns and I earn enough for both of us but I think it may be a problem for him.
Could this be related to his loss of libido and if so, what can I do to help, if anything? I'm a bit scared and I'm not as confident as I used to be that he's as into me as he was 5 months ago but I'm still as into him, even more so and I don't know how to handle this situation.
Has anyone been through this kind of thing before and if so, any advice you have is extremely welcome.
Thanks.
JoJo.
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Stress definitely has a factor in a guy's libido, well at least with me and my girlfriend it does. Chances are that he probably wants to have sex as much as you used to but is carrying some anxiety, perhaps with the job situation you talked about. However, having sex every other day isn't that bad of a situation...when you've been together for years then it gets even less! ;-)
You sound like a pretty supportive person, perhaps take him for a mini-vacation on a weekend night and surprise him with a sexy outfit. That'll make him forget about any anxieties! Afterwards, you can explain your feelings on the money issues.
You sound like a pretty supportive person, perhaps take him for a mini-vacation on a weekend night and surprise him with a sexy outfit. That'll make him forget about any anxieties! Afterwards, you can explain your feelings on the money issues.
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I wish I had some profound advice to give but really I am posting for selfish reasons. I need advice. I am having the same problems as so many that have posted on this blog. I have been with my boyfriend for the last 3 years and am no longer "getting any". I don't know if it is better to start at the beginning, not that it really matters as I doubt anyone will read this anyway. My boyfriend and I moved in together as roommates just over 3 years ago, we were coworkers and he was looking for a roommate, soon thereafter he asked me to move in with him and I accepted. At the time I had just turned eighteen and was in need of a place to stay I was hesitant at first because he was almost 15 years older than me but accepted anyway. A couple of weeks after I moved in I was hanging out with a couple of friends drinking **cough cough smoking and invited them to come back to my place to crash. When we got back to my place my boyfriend (roommate) was there and the drinking continued. Needless to say he made a couple of moves on me and being young naive and extremely intoxicated we went into his room and I lost my virginity(well sort of mainly he just gave me "head" as he couldn't get his penis to work properly which at the time I blamed this on the alcohol). The next day I didn't know what to do I didn't tell him that he was my first because I didn't want to make him feel bad or anything. He seemed really concerned that I was feeling remorseful about the whole thing, when I told him I didn't we attempted to have sex again, which went a lot like the first time. This attempting to have sex happened about 6 or 7 more times over the next couple of weeks which is when I finally decided to confront him about his limpish ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting**. This is when he confided in me that it had been 9 years since the last time he had sex. The next day I walked in on him masturbating to porn on his computer instead leaving I stayed and we had sex while porn played in the background this time things worked (truth be told I kinda felt hurt like maybe I wasn't as attractive as the girls he was watching and that is why he couldn't get it up for me but I know that I am somewhat attractive because I have never had a shortage of male attention). After that we continued to have sex regularly (about once a day) we never had a problem didn't have to play porn while doing it either. Unfortunately over the last year we have gone down to having sex about once every month to month and a half. When I try to talk to him about this he gets defensive, I have asked him if he is still attracted to me and he tells me that he is and that I would have to be crazy to think otherwise, honestly I have tried everything even watching some porn that I know that he likes to try to emulate some of the freaky things that the girls do he is just not having it. At this point I don't know what to do I am sure that he cares for me but I really need to get ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting**! I know that he still masturbates to porn as I have walked in on him on occasion in the act we have talked about this too and he tells me he would rather be with me but I am not sure anymore. Another thing is he keeps telling me there is more to a relationship than sex and that I am addicted and obsessed I just want a healthy sex life am I being unreasonable is it because I am 21 and he is 36 ahhhh idk help. I don't think that it is right that me as the woman in the relationship have to initiate everything and practically beg for sex I mean what is the point of being in a relationship if I don't get ***edited by moderator*** ** inappropriate posting** on tap seriously grr.
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