I need some serious advice, i am a 27 year old woman, who recently is divorcing i started talking to another guy several months after my husband and i seperated, after many months of talking he moved in with me, he was crazy about sex wanted it all the time, he is 24 so i thought the youger the guy the more they want to have sex well for the past 3 months sex is way different its not as exciting he used to do all kinds of kinky stuff to me in bed, and could go for hours at a time, now its wham bam thank ya mam when we do have sex, because 3 months ago his penis started going limp on me, everytime we would start to have sex it would go limp, when i would give him oral it would get hard and stay hard, but the minute he put it in my vagina it would go soft, it really hurt me because of coarse being a woman we assume that were not sexy enough etc. I complained to him frequently that he wasnt giving me enough sex, so i would have to go and masturbate while he was home because he couldnt finish the job. I found were he was visiting porn site online and he kept telling me he wasnt masturbating he was just learning some new moves, we got into 3 heated arguments about the watching porn thing but not being able to have sex with me, he swore that he would never do it again each time we argued, so i gave him a 4th chance, sex was still the same he couldnt keep it up, me having to masturbate, it was starting to get old, i want some skin on skin contact and to be rubbed and kissed during sex, not just me pleasuring myself, well one day i had a doctors appointment and thought i would leave a camera up and running to see what i could catch him up too, when i came home and he was at work i was shocked when i rolled back the tape, it was him masterbating to girls shaking there asses on youtube, he searched youtube to find something to masturbate too so nothing bad would come up on the computers history.I had begged him for sex the night before, so much we even got into a fight over it, but i didnt get any sex instead the next day is when he masturbated. When he came home from work i confronted him about masturbating and the big ass videos on youtube, he bluntly lied to me to my face, then i said what if i told you i have the proof, he still didnt understand he was still lying out of it, trying to say the big ass video was something i left up that had a pop up that popped up on the computer when i plainly saw him searching for it on video. After i told him about the video he admitted it and begged and pleaded. I just want some answers as to why im getting done this way, he says he loves me and that im sexy and things like that but i just dont beleive him if he could do me that way. I am sooo hurt over this. What really hurts is he cant stay hard for me but when he was watching the video he had no problem staying hard, and masterbating for 10 minutes but he cant stay hard for me for 2 minutes we did have sex a couple days ago and it worked, that was the first time in awhile, but he will want to wait 4 or 5 more days to have sex again and when we do try it will fail.Why couldnt he have watched our porn we made together to jack off or look at nude pics of me to masturbate too?Any advice will be appreciated. P.S. Im not conceited but i am a pretty decent looking girl, with a huge round booty that everyone loves to look at lol.
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im sorry you are going thru that but there is one good thing you have on yoru side:NO OTHER WOMAN IS INVOLVED that you know of.maybe his problem is stemming from something personal going on with him. ask him to talk to you about WHATEVER it is but dont pressure him bc hsi delimma may be age related(i guess) it could be impotence without visual stimulation.other than that i guess if he cant be considerate of your sexual needs id evaluate going to a sexual counselor or worse.....marriage counselor.so don tmake a mountain out of a mole hill. give him time to get it together but meanwhile purchase as many toys as you wish.experiment with yourself ALL OVER AGAIN have fun keep your door locked to give him the comfirmation that YOU ARE BUSY WITHOUT HIM....but its okay for him to fix whatever it is.GOOD LUCK
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Thank you for the reply, he just turned 25, so i know its not age related, it just really bothers me that as long as im giving him oral he stays hard but the minute he puts it in me or gets ready to put it in me it goes limp, its really taking a emotional toll on me, but he also expects me not to masterbate. I just dont understand how he cant get hard to make love to the woman he loves but he can get hard to random women online, we havent had decent sex in months. I know its deff. not another woman because im with him all the time, and when he is working he calls me on all of his breaks, i completley trust him. This just hurts so bad!!
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Sheila this is infact a very common problem, and you need an understanding of pyschology to really get to the bottom of it.
In a nutshell he has slipped into a boy vs mothering relationship. Despite you being attractive, he wont feel attraction to you while he's in this mode. Dont be comforted by the fact that he hasnt strayed (yet).
The solution is to split up with him. Im serious that is the only way, at this stage at least.
If you want more of my thoughts i can email you
In a nutshell he has slipped into a boy vs mothering relationship. Despite you being attractive, he wont feel attraction to you while he's in this mode. Dont be comforted by the fact that he hasnt strayed (yet).
The solution is to split up with him. Im serious that is the only way, at this stage at least.
If you want more of my thoughts i can email you
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If he can only get hard when your giving him a hummer it's almost certainly cos he's watching blow job porn all the time as well..he's getting addicted to the idea of being sexually passive and when he's required to take an involved role his brain can't respond properly due to it being satiated with porn images...it's a very growing problem amongst young men. (the fact that he watched the clips on yoo tube so there was no history on the browser underlines the point that he's trying to cover his tracks)
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I am a male so I hope you don't mind me reading and posting.
What that one girl said about watching blowjob porn and being passive during sex made a lot more sense to me than did the mother concept. I enjoy the sexy dances on YouTube as well and honestly have had In the past a similar problem. The difference is that I'm about 5 years younger and just recenty started noticing this ( which is why I commented , I see myself in your boyfriend )
I am sorry to say that I have no great advice, just this. Talk to him. What you need to understand but at the same time can never understand is how effed up the male brain is especially regarding sex. Girls always think it's their fault ( not saying you do ) but often times it's an issue with the guy
What that one girl said about watching blowjob porn and being passive during sex made a lot more sense to me than did the mother concept. I enjoy the sexy dances on YouTube as well and honestly have had In the past a similar problem. The difference is that I'm about 5 years younger and just recenty started noticing this ( which is why I commented , I see myself in your boyfriend )
I am sorry to say that I have no great advice, just this. Talk to him. What you need to understand but at the same time can never understand is how effed up the male brain is especially regarding sex. Girls always think it's their fault ( not saying you do ) but often times it's an issue with the guy
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Take it a step further. If he is masturbating to porn, softcore/hardcore... whatever, why not join in? Get the act going through whatever means are available and allow him to watch his porn while completing the act with you. Why not turn this to both your advantage? If you have any problems with this, then get over it. Its sex. Sex is not love. You can love someone/something, but not have sex with it/them. You can have sex with someone you love or someone you don't love. Try to separate the act from the emotion and you and he will be better off.
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