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My husband wants sex with a certain woman (with both of us) in our bed to spice up our sex life or lack of it.I have told him,if he does he can get the hell out cause I'm committed to our marriage and if he isn't happy in our marriage  and wants her, he can leave.

( male not optional)   He just had the nerve to ask the doctor for Viagra and so far it's going ok.

What am I to do ?

I do everything for this man and get no love,cuddling ,kisses when I want it.

 

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Why not propose another man in the bedroom like he did with a woman to you and see how he feels about it cause its just the same as what he said to you! In a marriage he should do his fair share to help you. But you have needs too, love, kisses and cuddles are a huge part of any relationship. You need to sit him down and talk to him about how he treats you cause you want a hug and a kiss when he comes home from work and the other way around and its always nice to cuddle on the sofa watching tv. I bet you get upset when you do something out of love for this man and get nothing in return.

I hope this helps.

 

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Well, today we yelled at each other about having sex with another woman. We ended trying to have sex cause he was drinking and he can't get it up.when he drinks.So I gave him a rain check.
The option of having a woman or a man isn't in our cards. Also we don't work and are on SSI due to my bipolar and his neck problems . We don't hug or cuddle,kiss that much anymore.
I really don't want sex with another person I'm totally committed to our marriage and I think it should always be that way. He may have fantasies about woman/woman but I'm just not into it. I told him if he is committed he wouldn't ask me to do that.
Our kids are grown and out of the home so there is no problem there with them hearing this yelling over other women.
What to do next ?

dejolane
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Is he sick? He can't be like this if he really loves you.
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you know that is what I have been telling him for along time too. If he can't just love me and have sex with just me ( or wants me to have sex with a woman ) he doesn't respect our marriage and doesn't love me. He says he wants a friend only no sex with her just wants to watch me and her.
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Don't mean to step in where I'm not wanted but I can't help but to ask if you know, is he addicted to watching porn? It may be where his fascination is coming from on wanting to watch you and another female together, in my opinion it's one thing to think about it, another to have a companion for you in mind as it leads me to think that he has been thinking about this for a long time then. I have found from reading on this site that if a man is addicted to porn that his thoughts are wholly on that and not on you, as he is not being the loving and caring husband he should be to you. If you went through with this I believe that your sex life would always have to be 'spiced up' to get him off. Sorry that it is like this and that you don't feel listened to - this could be part of the 'empty nest syndrome' as well, common when the kids have left home and you don't know how to fill your time up - especially when the two of you are at home not working.
Hope that this can help in some way!
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He has a porn book but tries to get himself up about 2 times a month. We had videos long time ago that I hated to watch so he took them upstairs to watch. We don't work cause of our medical conditions. If he can't be happy with our sex life or lack of it he can leave. I have packed his bags a few times but he says he loves me and is not leaving. 

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I guess with you both not working that if he was out cheating on you, you would probably know, right? Him and his porn book that he has that he tries to get himself up with twice a month, do you and him try as well within this time of month? And, that doesn't go too well? Just please, if you don't want a threesome then don't do it, don't please him when he is not pleasing you at all, a relationship is give and take.
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yes I would know if he was cheating. We are together all the time. We do try having sex other times but even when he drinks he can't get it up so whats the point ? I have come to live with no sex for awhile at a time.We just had an anniversary this month and he didn't even want a nice romantic night. I'm giving up.
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I may if I have the time.

Dejolane
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