Is it normal my husband masturbates too much ? Newlewed

I have never been married...nor have I thought about it early in life but I'll try to shed a little light on the matter. Have you ever asked him if he needed a hand? or maybe see what he says about you masterbating. Maybe ask if he will join you, or invite your self to his session.

Hello Linda, I will tell you one thing…you are worrying in vain!!!

I am a girl but I have a best male friend who I talk about these things and he is married and I will tell you how these things go.

When your husband told you that men just masturbate…….the story is oh so true.
My best friend is married and just got kid and he loves his wife and has good sex with her but he also enjoys masturbating. He tells his wife..i am going to watch some porn now and masturbate and she says ok. He told me I love to masturbate, it has nothing to do with sex, sex is something else and I love having it with my wife. But I also love to watch porn and I love to masturbate. That is the bottom line.
Masturbating 3 times a week is not much and it is perfectly normal that you and your husband are not having as much sex as before. You are together every day and sometimes he just doesn’t feel like sex. I am in the same position you are but I myself don’t feel like having it especially when we have sex a couple of days in a row, I get tired and need some days to recover/refresh or whatever.

I understand your frustration but when you feel like having sex and you are lying next to him, start touching yourself ( masturbating). He will go crazy and will first enjoy watching you and then he will join you, that is a fact. Hasn’t he ever asked you to masturbate in fron of him?

I am 100% positive that his masturbation when lying next to you is an invitation for you.

So, when you see that he is not up to having sex, leave him alone. When he sees that you don’t care and are not frustrating over this, everything will be fine and will go on its place.
Yu can always get a vibrator for yourself, you can buy it and surprise him, I am sure he would love it.

Don’t stress over something that is perfectly normal. You know what they say……guys will be guys…..and masturbation goes along with it.

Take care
Helene

ya; i have a girl friend I live with and would rather masterbate than have sex with her. At first I just wanted to have sex with her. Then after a year of living together it became a chore, almost like a job. Do this do that , slower, etc.. I'm like, I can get it over and done with faster and cleaner myself. Time to find a new girl I want to have sex with I guess. But after 3 days of no sex I sure do what to have sex with her and not masterbate, but then again I'd like to have sex with almost any girl after 3 days without it.

I can completely understand what you're going through. My fiancee and I are getting married in a few months, and up until now have had a pretty fulfilling sex life. Now, since we live together, I have learned of how much he actually masturbates, it's like an everyday thing. He doesn't do it in front of me or anything, but I can always tell, that he has, and when I ask him, he doesn't deny it, but replies shamefully. Here's the thing, I don't necessarily care about him masturbating, it's the fact that when he does, he can't perform for me. Every morning before I go to work, I ask him not to, and he says ok. When I come home and try to get intimate with him, I can tell that he has, even before I check the computer, because he can't get up. This is becoming a bit of a nuisance. I don't want to marry a man and only have intercourse to procreate. Am I to believe that things will get better after we're married.?. Please, if he can't or won't stop now, I don't think that there is any hope of him stopping when we're married. I do not want to be at the mercy of vibrators and dildos for the rest of my life because I wouldn't cheat on him. I'm very tired of having to take batteries out of remote controls and going to the market every so often to pick up hefty packs of batteries. I'd really like my sex life back. We're young, healthy, and in love. I don't want to continue to have to go a month at a time without sex before he finally gives into my begging and takes pity on me. I know this is so sad, I hate the fact that I even have to be expressing these feelings. Mean while, as I type, he is sitting beside me on the couch (time we could be using to make love). I'm about through with this, I'm just getting more and more disgusted as I look at his fine ass knowing that I'm once again going to go to bed unsatisfied and pissed.

have you ever tried taking turns at taking charge in the bedroom? that seems to help sometimes because then you take turns doing what you want.

hello, my husband and I got married pretty fast, only after 6 months of knowing eachother. its been about a year since we have been married and i am finding more and more stuff out about him. We have sex everyday sometimes twice a day, which i thought was great. I have found that he masturbates sometimes as well, one specific time is one day we had sex at like 3 in the after noon and we had already had sex that morning and i left to go to the hospital that night, and came home at like 11 and asked him if he had mastubated and he told me he did, is this normal? i think to myself that I am not good enough and that hes not satisfied with me enough, i dont knwo what i should do should i be mad? or just take it, like its a normal thing?

I've only been married 3 months. I just learned that my husband masturbates to porn everday. I really dont like the idea of that but he says that its normal. I dont mind him masturbating once in a while but i think everyday is exsesive. We only have sex once a week. I want it more than that but hes always too tired. I think that the reason we only have sex once a week is because he masturbates everyday. It really bothers me to think that he watches porn everyday....It makes me feel like I am not enough. Is it normal for him to masturbate every single day??? I'm feeling like c**p right now and wish i had someone to talk to about it. :-(

It is completely normal for guys to masturbate every day, it helps them release tension, and it makes them feel good (my boyfriend masturbates at least once a day...often more than that...but he still messes around with me). However, if they're enjoying masturbating more than being with you, you really need to rethink your relationship. Try talking to him about how you guys feel, if he really cares, he will explain himself, or at least try to. And you need to be understanding about it...it may be something as simple as his own self-worth, maybe he thought you didn't like it enough, or he wasn't good enough, or it may be that you two just aren't meant to be together forever...That doesn't mean to give up, try your hardest to be the best you can be for him, and if things get tough or he isn't at least polite to you, either try to get therapy (this is if you really want to stay with the d**n guy who doesn't give a smeg about you, or if there are serious mental issues that need to be dealt with), or, yes, I know this isn't what you want to hear...BREAK UP....

A lot of males just want to quickly get off without any hassle, it is like there is this need to scratch an itch that then disappears once done. There is this need to orgasm, once done it goes and with it the desire for sex. Sometimes you are tired and don't want sex, but need to release this damn urge. Sex is something else, with its protocol, need to please someone else who takes much longer to have their own orgasm. It can be a chore, and today with women being more in control, it can also be intimidating for some men.

We're men, and men will beat it like it stole something. It doesn't matter if you're fat or small, pretty or ugly. It doesn't even matter how long you been married because it doesn't have anything to do with you. If he doesn't masterbate, then you have a problem because he probably can't get it up.

If he's not having sex with you very much, it's not because he spanks the monkey to much, it's because you're married. I'm sure he was choking the chicken just as much when you first met and you were having sex every day.

Here's something you can do, ask him if he wants you to jerk him off while he's watching porn. Now that's saying I care.

a man produces 85 million sperms every day, and they have to come out.
thats why the man has that urge to masturbate.

if when hubby is masturbating beside you, instead of feeling left out in the cold, because he would rather masturbate then have sex with you, try and make it something you can share together as an alternative to sex.
are you able to reach your climax and have an orgasm?

if so then if you can start masturbating when he does, you may be able to ask him if he will suck your nipples for you to help with your stimulation.
if he sucks your nipples for about 20 mins, while you are stimulating your clitoris, you should be able to reach your orgasm.
he will enjoy watching you as you vaginal muscles clench rythmically as you orgasm.
then perhaps you can help him, or he can finish himself off. but that way you both get some sexual satisfaction.
you will have a release of tension after your orgasm has finished, and it wont feel so frustrating for you.
I hope it works out for you in the future

I feel your heartache. I married my husband 30 years ago. When we first married I didn't understand why we didn't have sex...he would hop into bed and ignore me and deflect any attempts to touch him. I later found out his routine was to toilet, shave, shower and masturbate before he came to bed. This was his daily routine that had been in place since he was in his teens. I have frozen in the bed beside him as he masturbated on a regular basis in our bed as years went by and was not interested in making love to me. Now I live separate to him. I am still married to him but feel humiliated and shattered by his contempt for me and my expectations in this marriage. I cook his meals, clean his house. He invites me to have oral sex with him if I want sex but it is only one sided. There is no consideration for me. My advice is think about your situation. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? I love my husband and married a very attractive man. I have seen my husband masturbating in the toilet, in front of the tv, in the car, on the lounge whilst I am cooking his dinner. He doesn't want me. I wanted and want to make love to my husband not play with myself. Marriage is love between two people. I am so envious of women who have loving sexual husbands instead of selfish wankers.

I feel your heartache. I married my husband 30 years ago. When we first married I didn't understand why we didn't have sex...he would hop into bed and ignore me and deflect any attempts to touch him. I later found out his routine was to toilet, shave, shower and masturbate before he came to bed. This was his daily routine since his teens. I have frozen in the bed beside him as he masturbated on a regular basis in our bed as years went by and was not interested in making love to me. Now I live separate to him. I am still married to him but feel humiliated and shattered by his contempt for me and my expectations in this marriage. I cook his meals, clean his house. He invites me to have oral sex with him if I want sex but it is only one sided. There is no consideration for me. My advice is think about your situation. Is this what you want for the rest of your life? I love my husband and married a very attractive man. I have seen my husband masturbating in the toilet, in front of the tv, in the car, on the lounge whilst I am cooking his dinner. He doesn't want me. I wanted and want to make love to my husband not play with myself. Marriage is love between two people. Do not waste your life - there are loving decent men who will love you and enjoy loving you.

My husband watched porn on the computer and then masturbates..when I first found out about this i confronted him (which was the hardest thing I have ever done) he admitted it and promised me he will never ever do it again and said he does not want to hurt me anymore by doing this. Before this happened our sex live was not so good he never wanted to do it with me ..he alsways said he was too tired..i always showed interest though..and whenever we did do it he could never get it up or half way into having sex it would go soft..i never understood why...anyways after that confrontation i had thought that he stopped...we only had sex like 3x sine then and it's been abt 2 months now..i went and checked on the computer and found he still does it ..what do i do..i;m scared and worried we have only been married for 2 yrs and I just had a baby he is 7mths now and i have no one to go to to talk to abt this ..I don't know why i'm not good enough for him ..i don't know what i;m doing wrong..what do I di...I don't think i can EVER have sex with him anymore and I want to leave him...He can have me whenever he wants but chooses not to