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hi there
my name is lisa and I am 23 years old. A week ago last friday I had a termination at 15 weeks and I cant get it out of my head. I never even realised I was pregant until I was 14 weeks, my periods have always been very irregular and I had no symptons of pregnancy at all (no sickness or no cravings). i only found out when my doctor wanted to do a urine test on me after I had not had a period for a while. It was such a shock for me because I used protection as well. I tried to talk to my family about it but they dont agree with abortion and wanted me to keep it and said I landed myself in it myself. I even posted a question on yahoo answers because I just didnt know what to do and every answer called me selfish and I knew what i was doing when I laid there and had sex and it really hurt. I had a scan to see how far gone I was and they said i was 14 weeks and 3 days and I couldnt believe it, i couldnt believe i had been so stupid!!, i couldnt even look at the screen. I had to have a medical abortion in two parts where I went on the wed to have a tablet and then went 2 days later to have a course of tablets until i passed the foetus, on friday i thought i felt ok and then the pains and all that started and I felt it passing and i will never forget that feeling. I am trying my best to get over it by working all the time (i am working 3 jobs at the moment to keep myself busy) but sometimes I am going through periods where I am crying one minute and then I am really happy, i regret it so much and the person who made me pregnant his name is lee and he had broken up with his wife at the time, but he got back with her soon after which i didnt mind and we stayed friends, i tried telling him what i was going through and he just couldnt be bothered with me and didnt care and now hes trying to act like he just wants to be friends and as if nothing has happened which has hurt me and it makes me so angry, I just dont know what to do. i am sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just really dont know what to do anymore.


Hi Lisa,

I won't hide the fact that I'm a pro life Feminist-This just means that I believe women, had they reallya 'choice' would not abort. It is the belief that society is failing women in giving them real options, support, and education on the subject. It is very common for women who have abortions to go through what you're experiencing and I would not wish it on anyone. I'm very sorry you are experiencing this. It is important for you to seek out support of some kind. Counselling often helps as well as joining groups where there are others going through the same thing. It's nice to know you're not alone and others are able to talk with you about how they feel and vice versa in a non-judgemental way.
You may be experiencing grief as well. Our emotions are complex and it takes time for us to be able to cope again. You're experience is normal and I would really recommend extra support from those who are more experienced or going through a similar circumstance. Although online groups are available and easy to access there's no real group leader. Group leaders are significant in setting goals and keeping us on track.

I hope you find your way.