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Pull your penis down and backwards towards your butt deviding your testicles evenly. hold firmly in place, squeeze your legs together, that's it, now look in the mirror, you now have a vag......well done.
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Well just take a deodorant bottle and remove the stick of deodorant and take the pointy plastic thing out then cut out a whole to your size then put the deodorant back in and jack with it or pump it between coushions
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Buy some swim floaters. blow them up, use some lotion and wack away

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Get multiple girlfriends- it's the best way.
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ok try this. get two balloons and blow them to about d same size. then rest both balloons and rest a soft cover over it. put your penis in between both balloons and enjoy. orrr. in the shower. u can full the balloons with water. soap up the ballons and rest them somewere stirdy and f**k away .
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Lol i saw the gatoraid thing i tried that years ago and no luck -__- couch thing sounds painful.. and most other things are messy, i think your best bet, get a few bucks go buy some condoms put lube or lotion in the end and slip it on, then wrap in blanket and it makes perfect size you can adjust to how you want it.. but nothing.. nothinnnn can compare to the real thing xD that sh*t gets tighter and such

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Ingredients:

Half empty toilet roll with tube size larger than the girth of your penis

Large rubber washing up glove

5 rubber bands, approximately 5cm diameter

Lube (not oil based, or it will dissolve the glove. KY jelly or any sex lube will do)

 

Method: (read this now, but read the hints before proceeding)

Chain 3 elastic bands together. Loop them through each other pulling them tight so you have a chain of 3 bands long.

Poke a hole directly through the centre of the toilet roll (i.e. through the paper, cardboard tube, through the other side of the tube and out through the other side of the paper.)

Use a blunt instrument to push the end of the rubber band chain through the hole and out the other side, and pull it through so you have the middle band stretched across the inside of the tube and the end bands hanging out both sides of the paper roll. The band across the centre will simulate the inner vaginal wall muscles.

Poke the fingers of the rubber glove inside out, leaving just the longest one protruding (these will simulate the folds of flesh inside a vagina).

Pull the two rubber bands hanging out the sides of the paper roll over the entrance end of the roll so they overlap each other in a circle and put two of your own fingers through the circle to hold them in place.

Push the open end of the rubber glove through the other end of the tube, forcing it between the rubber band stretched across the centre of the tube, and pull it up and through the overlapping bands (using your fingers that are between the overlapping bands to grab it and drag it through).

Stretch the opening of the glove over the end of the roll and use the 4th rubber band to hold it in place (you may need to double the band over to hold it securely). The overlapping bands will simulate the entrance of the vagina.

At the other end, wrap the protruding finger of the glove back over the end of the roll and use the 5th rubber band to secure it around the roll. The glove at the entrance will move in and out bit, simulating the labia movement of real sex. The amount of movement can be adjusted by how much you tension the protruding finger at the other end.

 

Use:

I'll leave that up to you. Use plenty of lube. It helps to heat the whole thing (and the lube) by putting on a radiator for a while, as a real vagina is nice and warm.

 

Hints:

Don't try using the cardboard tube with no paper - it will collapse as you poke holes and stretch rubber bands. It will also be too small to hold securely between pillows, or however you intend to deploy it.

Before you start, test the roll by inserting your fully erect penis through the tube. It must have plenty of clearance; otherwise get a roll with a bigger tube. Push the entire length of your penis into the tube. If the head of your penis doesn't stick out the other end of the tube, then poke the hole through the tube closer to the entrance end, rather than half way down. When in use, you want the head of your penis to clear the middle band completely and embed itself into the folds of the inverted glove fingers, whilst the middle band squeezes the shaft of your penis.

Elastic bands all differ in elasticity. You may need bigger or smaller ones. Some adjustment can be made by changing the amount of paper you leave on the roll. You can also adjust the relative tightness of the entrance and inner band by pulling the bands one way or the other on the outside of the roll.

 

Pro's:

Cheap, can be dismantled, glove washed, rubber bands unchained, leaving no evidence other than a strange hole through a toilet roll. Also works better, and is far more realistic, than anything else you can hand craft! Forget about fruit and condoms and plastic bags - they really are all a waste of time.

 

Con's

You may have to experiment a bit, as toilet rolls, elastic bands, gloves and penises are all different! But then so are vaginas!

 

 

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Hey im12 and um well you can use soap put soap on your hands and just do it the old fashion way.thats what I do.you can also put a back massager on your penis just put it on for a while
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Well the easiest, cheapest, and the best way I found is by using a pipe insulation. It costs around $1-2 which is 6 feet long so you can use it for whole year or more and it is quite resistant to damage. Buy a 3/4" or 1" pipe insulation depending on your penis girth. Cut it 1 inch longer than your penis. Place it in any firm place or use it with your hand. You can directly use a condom. Or you can just put soap in the insulation and on the penis. I am sure you will enjoy cause i do!!!

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Well in the guest post above i meant the tubular foam pipe insulation!!

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Minus the real thing, this is hands down the best feeling while spanking the monkey.  When I was 16 I was working a summer job for a Air Conditioning company and they use a "insulated foam sleeve" that fits over the copper tubing that runs between the air handler and the condenser that sits outside a home.  Being the little perv I am I wondered....  so during my lunch break in the bathroom one day i took a piece of it.... 6-8" is all need.  I thought i would get a quick feel of how it would feel, man right then and there I spanked till i finished.... it felt that good. 

You can buy this at about any ac and heating place or supplier.  DO NOT confuse it with the stuff you find at ace hardware that is normally grey stiffer!  The stuff you are looking for is BLACK and kinda of a spongy feel to it, I would even use the word soft.  IT will have a slit cut down the length of it that if you buy it to small "diameter" then you split it but some has it without the slit which is the best because your penis does not split it near as easy.  You should be able to go outside and look at your ac and see the sleeve I am talking about but best to see and feel it at the air handler inside your home since it has not been subjected to the weather.

I promise you will love!  just use a little spit, lube or lotion and it will fit snug around your penis"just like a vagina"!

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lube up an armband, and pump away. fells good if the armband is not textured.

 

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aloe vera work better than banana peel

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Items you need:

-Zip-lock bag.

-Scissors.

-A small snug sock.

-Some lotion

*Optionals*

-Two pillows

-Couch

-Rubber bands/hair bands.

So cut the zip part of the plastic bag off then put that into the sock, then kinda wrap it around the edge of the sock and put the rest inside. Then strap it down with some rubber bands or hair bands, etc, etc. Put some lotion on and in the zip-lock bag. You could also (if you dont want your sock anymore) dip your sock in really hot water for a min or two to simulate a warm women body. I think thats all correct me if I missed anything. Good-luck. Im going to try this right now :-)

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grab a glass just bigger than your width, put two sponges in, put condom in and pull it over the edges and voila, a free vagina

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