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My partner has difficulty controlling her anger. She just reacts without thinking. Instantly looks for someone or something to blame and yell at when things go wrong. I mean it can take the most smallest of things to set her off. Everything little situation or comments people might make is always played out as the worst most possible scenario, a drama queen basically.
She is now 36 and has smoked 50% pot chopped up with 50% tobacco since she was 14. Its hard to explain everything in a couple of paragraphs but i am certain she has an undeveloped prefrontal cortex is it?.. when she gets angry she just seems unable to think before she reacts and starts yelling.
Also i know she grew up in an abusive househould where both parents would have fist fights with her mother apparently gaining the upper hand as her father is only 4 foot 10.

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I think the real problem for your girlfriend lies in the latter part of your post where you mention that she grew up in a violent household. This is the sort of behaviour she has learned and even though she may know it is unacceptable, it is true to say that under duress we often resort to learned behaviour. In other words. at the slightest hint of conflict or confrontation, the scared little girl in her panics and resorts to shouting and making herself look bigger and fiercer than she really is, in order to protect herself. To us it may make no sense, but to her subconscious mind, it may well have worked for her in the past so it will continue to be her preferred modus operandi.

Your girlfriend can change if she really wants to. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may be the thing for her. She should see a primary healthcare worker in the first place to see what is available to her.

And of course, the drugs do not help - overuse can lead to paranoia and depression. She would be well advised to begin to cut this down now. You may need to have a serious talk with her to show her how this behaviour is damaging your relationship.
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I know this is an old post but your partner's behaviour sound like a borderline personality disorder. And yes, the prefrontal cortex is compromised. And it often is found in people who have suffered an abusive childhood. the gold standard treatment in dialectical behavioural therapy. She would need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist who specialises in personality disorders. It is not a quick fix. She would need ongoing therapy and borderline clients are notoriously difficult to treat as they tend to have the same problems maintaining stable relationships with their therapists as they do with everyone else. But if she is committed to seeking help and putting inthr hard yards things can improve. My ex husband has BPD and I know from experience it can be really difficult to live with. Take care of yourself and maintain strong boundaries. All the best.
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