Family torn apart :( need some help!!

mgunter316 wrote:

Ok, so Im 22 years old...my dad died 5 years ago. He had remarried and had 2 other little girls. I was always close to my daddy even when he remarried and had other children. My sisters and I were very close also. My stepmother, however, hated me with a royal passion!! I live in SC and she took the girls (ages 8 and 10) to Missouri (where she is originally from) for me and my dad's side of the family to never hear from them again. I remember me and the oldest sitting down talking about what they were going to do with my dad's house (was originally land given to my dad and real mother as a wedding gift, and my mom and dad built the house on the land) oh, and forgot to mention...the land was given from my grandaddy on my mother's side of the family!! My little sister stated that she did not want to move to MS because she hated it there....the next yr, they were gone. Notice, I never got to see or speak to them again after my dad's funeral...but one promise I made to her when she said she did not want to move there was that when she turned 16 I would come get her...she looked at me crying and said 'promise??" Well her birthday was yesterday and she turned 15. I still havent talked to her at all since daddy died... but Im wondering what should I do??? What are the legal ages, and how would i do this???

Have you any idea how to contact your sister? Do you have an address or a PO number for them? The first thing that you need to do is to figure out where your sister lives. I don't know the legal age limitations in Missouri, you can look that up on the web. You need to somehow make contact with her and see how she is, first of all, then go from there.

I am not trying to downplay your dilemma at all and i do understand how you must feel but....i think if your sister had problems with her mom or the place she was living, she would have tried to contact you, somehow. If she see's your texts come thru, she must know of a way to contact you in secret. You say she looks happy in her pics, she probably is. You are very upset over the loss of your dad and for that, i am sorry, but you can't try to replace one for the other. I think if she was as miserable as you might think, she would have gone out of her way to get hold of you. This is a sad situation for you, i know this but you have to let it alone for now. Don't forget, just put it on the back burner for a little while. I think it may be 16 that a child can leave the family home. As long as they have a safe place to live and is taken care of. You are not in the position to proove that your sister is being abused, she probably isn't. When your sister made you "promise" to come for her, it was a sad day and she probably was under a little duress. Sometimes when we are in a sad situation, we may say anything at the time. She was quite young when you made this promise to her, you were both hurt and vulnerable at the time as well.

Do your best to stay in touch with her. Let her know that you will always be available for her. When the time comes, she may want to come with you, or she may decide to stay home with her mom and sister, you just don't know for sure. As for you, you must not dwell on this, there is nothing you can do now. If you had a lot of money you could hire an attorney to look into it, or an investigator. But who has money that they can just dispose of like that? I know you miss your dad and i know you miss your sister but you have to get past this. You will eat yourself alive if you can't focus on something else. Never forget her, just re align yourself with something else for a while. When the time comes, she may show up at your door, you just don't know. What would your dad want you to do? Would he want you to start a war between the families? I don't think he would. I know you loved him very much and he is very much in your heart, but let it be, just for a little while.