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ok, so me and my boyfriend were trying to have sex at about 1AM but for some reason it wouldn't go in, so he pushed and pushed, we weren't wearing a condom so i guess the pressure made the frenulum rip completely off (and he isn't circumcised) and now the skin inst attached to the head, it was bleeding so much and it took about an hour to stop, now its almost 4 in the afternoon and he isn't at my house he went home, a half an hour away, as u are probably guessing he is terrified as am i but i really want him to calm down, he isn't sure what he should do, it is possible to just leave it and let it heal without it being attached ? or should we go to the hospital so they can reattach it ? if they can, also the color is good and it looks fine, when he pees it bleeds a little but with some pressure it stops, its only a couple of drops at most, i do not think we are doing anything sexual for a long time, please help all opinions and answers are appreciated, i just really don't want this to stress him out too much, also is there any cream or something we could put on it ? also wen he showers it ok to pull down the foreskin to clean it, please just get back with any information THANKYOU

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Izzy,
You are right to be concerned about your bf.
You are probably right that he is still freaking out over this, and is panicky.

Given your description, it sounds like the foreskin of his penis has either ripped, or separated.

I am not there, and have not seen what has torn, nor how extensive it is.
Therefore, he needs to be seen (examined) by a medical person. And that needs to happen NOW.
The color may be good, and the tear or rip may be able to heal without trouble.
But, it needs to be assessed by a professional.

(It's not clear to me why it took so much force for penetration. Were you using lube? Were you aroused?
Have YOU had sex before? Have YOU been examined to see if your hymen is still intact or if it is tough and thick.
These are questions to be answered AFTER your bf gets some medical attention.)

If you are underage (or he is) you still need to seek attention. You can receive treatment with parental notification in many states.

Before you two attempt intercourse or have any sex again, you both should probably speak with a medical person or counselor about why this happened. It sounds like something is missing here, but you should be counseled in person to assure that they understand and that YOU understand how this goes.

And PLEASE use protection or birth control every time, ok?
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Frenulum tears are more common than one would think, and generally heal ok, but its probably best to get a doctor to look at it.

I think njoynlife has some good knowledge on this...
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what is njoynlife ? lol
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IzzyCruz wrote:

what is njoynlife ? lol



"enjoyin life" is the name of another longtime contributor in this forum. You'll find he has some advice for your bf, I'll bet.
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
Hi there, kingfreze contacted me about your/his problem.

Of course I can't see what he has for a tear but I can tell you I tore mine several times when I first began having sex regularly, after getting married. It did hurt if I got urine on it, like wowee!!! But it also healed rather quickly. Mine didn't tear a lot each time just kind of opened it up a little. The first time it happened I let it heal in place and discovered my problem was still there --- it was still short or tight so it pulled too much when the foreskin pulled back. The next time it tore I put something in/on the cut area (toilet paper I think) to keep it from healing back together. In other words I made it heal over without going back in place. That made it a little longer so the foreskin would go back further before it began to pull. It tore a few more times and I did the same thing each time. It heals rather quickly so I never got worried about it.

After a few times it stopped tearing and my foreskin was able to go all the way back without anything pulling at all. That is really nice for both me and my wife. It's nice for her because it works like it's supposed to. The foreskin lines her vagina as the penis goes in so the sides are not getting scraped by the head as it goes in and out. But the head comes out at the end and that feels good for both of us.

My extra benefit comes from the fact that the inner side of the foreskin is stretch sensitive. When it gets stretched at the end of a stroke it gives me an involuntary thrusting motion that makes it feel wonderful. If it is able to be stretched equally all the way around that is great, but if that pesky frenulum is stopping it and it's painful because the stretch is all centered on that little piece of skin, that takes away all that extra pleasure.

It's a good thing to pull it back to clean it in the shower. Pulling it back whenever possible will help make it more comfortable when it gets pulled back during sex. I was blessed to NOT have all the problems I read about here so often because my mother was told by her doctor to pull mine back for cleaning when I was a baby. Mine has always been pulled back and washed for as long as I can remember so it was always pretty comfortable for me to pull it back. The problem with the frenulum didn't show up until I began having unprotected sex. Obviously I didn't pull it back far enough to make it hurt when I began masturbating as a young boy.

So I don't think he needs to worry, just keep it clean so it doesn't get infected, which isn't likely anyway. I've never had an infection in a cut that I got accidentally. I did get one in one of the two cuts the doctor made for my vasectomy though.

If this isn't clear enough, ask me more or private message me.
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thankyou you guys are really helpful :-) the thing is about his tear, its not small :/ that's what worries me and him, the whole frenulum ripped off his head, so the foreskin isn't attached. i guess it's like a circumcision when they remove the frenulum, but the foreskin isn't removed. should he get a circumcision to remove the skin ? or see if the frenulum heals someway ? and sorry i can't pm yet, i am a very new member, i only made an account to ask this question. also he wants to know if he can put alcohol on it ? i told him not too because i cut open my ear a few days ago, and after it stopped bleeding it opened up again when i put alcohol on it, and i don't want it to start bleeding again for him, that was scary. do u guys know any names of creams that can be put to make sure it heals properly ? also can he use soap to clean it when he takes a shower? thanks again ! and sorry if im being a bother with all the questions
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
Soap or alcohol would hurt really bad. I think he would be better off to hold his foreskin back and wrap it with some type of bandage material to protect it while it heals over. They make non stick bandages that would be just right for that. Holding it back so it doesn't heal back together where it was before would be preferable in my opinion. The foreskin works so much better when it's not connected to the tip. Mine ended up free like that and I really like being able to slide it all the way down the shaft with nothing pulling. That's what caused this to happen in the first place. Mine just tore a little at a time so it took longer to get free. His is free all the way now, why let it reattach itself? For your sake and his don't even think of getting a circumcision. The foreskin provides a vital part of sexual pleasure for both of you. You and he will love being able to slide it all the way down easily and comfortably which is what it will be like after it heals if you keep it from going back together.
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I still say he should be seen by a medical person.
I'm not convinced that we're all "seeing" this injury the same way, and while it's great advice, it may not be accurate, depending on the severity of the "rip".

Your questions are always welcome Izzy.
I just think he should be seen.

And, NO, don't use alcohol on it, as it will burn AND it will kill any new forming cells and most likely cause an infection. Even worse.
Get it looked at by a professional.
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thanks again :-) he told his parents, and it seems to be healing nicely, i think hes considering a circumcision. You all were a great help !
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IzzyCruz wrote:

thanks again :) he told his parents, and it seems to be healing nicely, i think hes considering a circumcision. You all were a great help !



I gotta say, I'm not surprised....given the severity of the injury as you first described it.
It just sounded like something more than a separation of the frenulum, which is what I think Njoynlife and Kingfreeze were talking about.

Good luck.
Let us know what works out, will you?
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The question is, does he 'WANT' a circumcision? Or is he being forced into it?

Most doctors will go down the easy route of suggesting the circ, but with the right advice, there is a chance it could be saved.

There's a charity I support that is into all this, get him to take a look at ***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed There's a great doctor on there called Peter Ball. He helped me, maybe he can help your boyfriend as well.


Time for a rant...
Whilst they are sometimes necassary, they are also sometimes very extreme. Its similar to curing an in-growing toe nail but cutting your toe off, or curing a skin infection on your arm by cutting your arm off... And it gets even worse when they say it prevents HIV. Not only is there scarce evidence, but you are amputating a perfectly healthy part of the body... Maybe I've found a vaccination for the common cold... amputate everyone's noses.


...rant over...
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User avatar
Health Ace
6880 posts
I'm with King. I can't imagine removing such a valuable part of his sex organ. I can't believe he ripped anything to the point that it won't heal. Many doctors seem to be all to willing to remove that wonderful piece of skin that can provide so much pleasure for both of you.
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Someones an over-officious moderator.

Was explained to by mr dark_red himself that web addresses are allowed as long as you aren't a junior member.

So it was: www.norm-uk.org. Thank you very much.
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Hit. Nail. On. Head.
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