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i'm 17 and i think i'm about to begin dating this boy that i've known for a while, but i'm afraid that we got off on the wrong foot.
i met him and we hung out, and ended up messing about a bit, nothing bad, just making out and such, but he was really eager and he wanted it to go further. i'm afraid that he only wants to date me because hes physically or sexually attracted to me, althought we've been talking a lot lately, and he seems genuinely interested in me. he's a sweet boy, and i'm sure he's not using me, not intentionally anyway. how would you go about this?

and this is a bit off topic, but whenever i have boyfriends, they seem to get very eager, and a bit too aggresive with kissing and.. such? hahahh.
how could i kind of give a bloke advice? i've explained that it's nice to be kissed gently, and although they start off with that in mind, when they get very into it, they seem to get a bit aggresive and focused, i suppose. and it's a turn off. but i don't want to seem like a b***h by telling them to calm the fack down.

thanks for in advance for any responses!
cheers! x


Hi sweetie,
All of these feelings and questions are totally normal.
First things first, the first attraction ppl have to one another is physical, right? I'm sure he really attracted to you physically and that's great! guys think with their penises, thats a fact. No matter what guy you date they will want to go further with you. When the time comes to make out and fool around and have sex it needs to be a mutual decision. You seem like you have good head on your shoulders and get that.

To find out if he ONLY wants to date you because he is physically attracted to you- try suggesting a date or activity that involves little to NO physical contact like, an amusement park, putt putt golf, hanging out in groups... without sending him mixed signals take the making out down a notch to see how he reacts. If he treats you differently and poorly... you have your answer. If he is still sweet and fun, then take the lead. You are the girl in the relationship... which is the most fun place to be!!!!

With having said that... being a girl, you have a LOT of power my friend... when the boys get too aggresive take control and show them that sensual and soft kissing can be just as exciting! put yourself ontop or in a position where you can take control. Hold their hands gently(so that they can't touch you) and kiss them slowly and sexy, they will see that you can have fun while taking things slower and more sensual. guide their hands to where you want them on your body... and the most important thing: when they do something that YOU LIKE, let them know... whisper to them that that feels good, or say " do tha again" boys are sometimes like puppies... positve reinforcement works wonders. guys LOVE this btw.

I think that it's great that you talk to these boys about your feelings and such, it is important to be comfortable doing that. Along with the words, show them... its more fun that way!

hope this helps!