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i have never told anyone about this, and its been bothering me for past 9 years and i need help so i can stop feeling depressed about it.

An ex-friend of mine had taken me to his friend's birthday party (with my parents consent). He gave me a lot of alcholic drinks. Later he took my clothes off and without showing any affection he had sex with me, hurting me a lot, as i was a virgin (i had never had sex and i didnt know anything about hymen) it felt too painful and my requests and pleas for him to stop went unheard. I tried pushing him off me but i couldnt even move him. After he had intercourse he askd me if i was a virgin cos he couldnt find the hymen and kept probing his fingers inside my vagina. Later he brought me back home and told my mom i was alright and that i was just a bit drunk and left me a gift a stuffed toy monkey. I avoided and broke off with him a few days later.

I am unable to understand what happened that day. I am still so shocked about the incident as i was that day. I never could tell my parents or my boyfriend the details. I just told them that i was not a virgin anymore.

Was i raped? Or was I just treated badly? Can anyone out there help me understand this incident?


Whatever the surrounding circumstances, non consensual sex is rape. And from what you said about asking him to stop, and his unwillingness to yield, it was rape. Rape is a very troubling thing for anyone and it is completely understandable that this has been a difficult situation for you.

You have a couple different paths that you can take. Depending on how long ago this was you can press charges for rape. If you don't want to do that, and many don't, it would probably be good for you to go talk to a therapist who can help you. Its not good to suffer if you feel as though you are depressed.

None of this is your fault.

Hope this helps a little.


Your story made my eyes fill up with tears. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

I agree with everything the Charming_shrew said.

It is not your fault. You were raped. You are doing the right thing by talking about it--even if it is with complete strangers. It is not healthy for you to keep such hurtful things bottled up insdie.

Now, I'm not sure how close you are to your mother, but if you two have a really close relationship, you really need to tell her. You're her daughter and she cares about you.

Please just talk to someone about this situation...someone you can trust.

I hope that I have helped.



first of all, i am very sorry that this happened to u. :-( that guy is a penis. >;)
second of all, this was rape! i may only be 15 years old, but i kno that to be true. he totaly raped u. u should definately report him if u can.