Hi. I'm 19. Here's all the details.

First I have irregular menstruation. sometimes (last year it visited june and come back on november but usually I experience 1-2 months without period) I wont have my period.

I had sex with my bf(we've been together for more than a year) using withdrawal method and calendar method for many times like 1-3 times a month with days intervals in between(I count days on calendar to make sure also). But since january I still haven't been visited by my period. We used 3 pregnancy test (1 month interval each) and all were negative. There's also no signs of pregnancy. I just need to know if I'm pregnant or not cause I'm so stressed about it. I'm still not ready about it also.

additional details: I usually drink 5 cups of coffee(they said caffeine can help avoid pregnancy) and since both of us are always stressed he might have low sperm count. I'm trying everything to know that I'm not pregnant cause I can't visit any medical clinic cause my parents might know and I'll be doomed (my bf want to keep the baby, if there is, but I'm just not ready yet). They also said that you will 'feel' if you're pregnant and you can talk to your 'spiritual baby'. I don't feel pregnant and I tried to talking to 'it' just in case.

Please help!!!! I'm in the verge of trying to do a nearly suicidal attempt to get out of this (whatever this situation is)