im 16 years old,with a alcoholic mother
shes been drinking for almost 3 years now non stop and causing alot of family problems
in 2008 i started cutting my arms just to see how bad it would bleed,then it became to the point if someone was to make me mad or make me feel low id cut words into my skin,theres names too.
i started drinking at 15,and i can honestly say ive been sober since august.
i started taking pills,but i realized they were only making me sick,lazy and co dependant.
i had to have someone didnt matter who,i started bouncing in and out of relationships
but recently found someone that im pretty sure i want to spend my life with,even though im a teenager hes like the only person who understands me,and can handle all this crazy drama around here with my parents and all the fighting.
i recently exposed him to the truth about my cutting,and i have made it a promise to him that i will stop..
i just wish that life could be so much better than this,i hate my mom..and i know i shouldnt say that because shes my mom she gave me life,but sometimes i wish i never took a breath at all..
theres only a few people that have actually ever stuck by my side,and i thank them very much for dealing with me thru all these years..
but if anyone wants to talk or offer me any advice feel free to write me or something..
shes been drinking for almost 3 years now non stop and causing alot of family problems
in 2008 i started cutting my arms just to see how bad it would bleed,then it became to the point if someone was to make me mad or make me feel low id cut words into my skin,theres names too.
i started drinking at 15,and i can honestly say ive been sober since august.
i started taking pills,but i realized they were only making me sick,lazy and co dependant.
i had to have someone didnt matter who,i started bouncing in and out of relationships
but recently found someone that im pretty sure i want to spend my life with,even though im a teenager hes like the only person who understands me,and can handle all this crazy drama around here with my parents and all the fighting.
i recently exposed him to the truth about my cutting,and i have made it a promise to him that i will stop..
i just wish that life could be so much better than this,i hate my mom..and i know i shouldnt say that because shes my mom she gave me life,but sometimes i wish i never took a breath at all..
theres only a few people that have actually ever stuck by my side,and i thank them very much for dealing with me thru all these years..
but if anyone wants to talk or offer me any advice feel free to write me or something..
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I really feel for you. You are going through an awful time and having your mother drink must be heartbreaking.
I started having lots of problem like you have when i was about 12 and they escalated from there. When i was 13 and in 8th grade i was very depressed and began to cut myself. sometimes i dont know why i did it. But i wanted to feel something, i suppose. Or maybe i just wanted to cry out for help in my own way. My parents were completely oblivious to my pain. My mother never asked why i cried or wore long sleeves and my father was always working or drinking or smoking pot. It is a very tragic thing to have to hide things and acknoweldge all the turmoil as "normal dysfunction." And some parts of that are normal. Being a teenager is a hard time. I am 23 and you couldnt' pay me a million dollars to be a teen again or in highschool!
Overall, things got really bad for me. I cut myself, stopped eating, lost lots of weight, and began smoking weed because nothing seemed to matter. Eventually i got my parents attention. It took repeated times but they finally realized how seriously sick i was and that i needed help. The hard part is getting your parents to cooperate. But if you can get them to listen you must express, if you feel safe doing so, how much in pain you are in. Maybe you can even put it in a letter. I don't know what kind of people they are, if they will listen, maybe it will take multiple times. And maybe you can't count on them on at all.
Things are really hard right now and have been for a while but there is a better life waiting for you. One of the best thing i ever did, and i was very against it for a while, was to go to al anon. its a support group for people who know, love, or live with alcoholics. it's free and you can look it up on the internet, they have tons of groups all over the US and it is completely free. I know its scary but if you get a friend to go with you you may find that you are in a safe place where lots of other people share your pain and want to listen to you and validate you.
I ended up being hospitalized which is how my family found out how bad off i was and got them to get me to therapy and get effective anti-depressants. but i would not want anyone to go thru the trama of a hospitilization. so do everything you can to reach out to those people who you love and know will stand by you. Right now they are your best support. And its ok to hate your mom, it really is. there is no rule that says you can't. And maybe try to talk, this is prolly going annoy you, a couselor at school. feel them out, see if they are ok to talk to and just tell them the basics, maybe ask if they have numbers or pamphlets of advice for you. and if you feel comfortable tell them your whole situation and maybe they can at least be an ear to listen to.
oh, god this is going on forever, im so sorry. i will wrap this up. sometimes telling somebody doesnt seem like it will help. but once i got a wonderful therapist to talk to that i trusted I didnt feel that all the problems of the world were on me. Sometimes sharing with a safe person, just venting and getting validated can take some of the pain away because you arent holding it all in. at least its out there floating around. good luck, hope this helped a bit. and i wish you lots of happy days to come
I started having lots of problem like you have when i was about 12 and they escalated from there. When i was 13 and in 8th grade i was very depressed and began to cut myself. sometimes i dont know why i did it. But i wanted to feel something, i suppose. Or maybe i just wanted to cry out for help in my own way. My parents were completely oblivious to my pain. My mother never asked why i cried or wore long sleeves and my father was always working or drinking or smoking pot. It is a very tragic thing to have to hide things and acknoweldge all the turmoil as "normal dysfunction." And some parts of that are normal. Being a teenager is a hard time. I am 23 and you couldnt' pay me a million dollars to be a teen again or in highschool!
Overall, things got really bad for me. I cut myself, stopped eating, lost lots of weight, and began smoking weed because nothing seemed to matter. Eventually i got my parents attention. It took repeated times but they finally realized how seriously sick i was and that i needed help. The hard part is getting your parents to cooperate. But if you can get them to listen you must express, if you feel safe doing so, how much in pain you are in. Maybe you can even put it in a letter. I don't know what kind of people they are, if they will listen, maybe it will take multiple times. And maybe you can't count on them on at all.
Things are really hard right now and have been for a while but there is a better life waiting for you. One of the best thing i ever did, and i was very against it for a while, was to go to al anon. its a support group for people who know, love, or live with alcoholics. it's free and you can look it up on the internet, they have tons of groups all over the US and it is completely free. I know its scary but if you get a friend to go with you you may find that you are in a safe place where lots of other people share your pain and want to listen to you and validate you.
I ended up being hospitalized which is how my family found out how bad off i was and got them to get me to therapy and get effective anti-depressants. but i would not want anyone to go thru the trama of a hospitilization. so do everything you can to reach out to those people who you love and know will stand by you. Right now they are your best support. And its ok to hate your mom, it really is. there is no rule that says you can't. And maybe try to talk, this is prolly going annoy you, a couselor at school. feel them out, see if they are ok to talk to and just tell them the basics, maybe ask if they have numbers or pamphlets of advice for you. and if you feel comfortable tell them your whole situation and maybe they can at least be an ear to listen to.
oh, god this is going on forever, im so sorry. i will wrap this up. sometimes telling somebody doesnt seem like it will help. but once i got a wonderful therapist to talk to that i trusted I didnt feel that all the problems of the world were on me. Sometimes sharing with a safe person, just venting and getting validated can take some of the pain away because you arent holding it all in. at least its out there floating around. good luck, hope this helped a bit. and i wish you lots of happy days to come
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