Guys, im in the same boat too, im 17 and i dont want to be gay. plain and simple. I cant imagine a life with a man, its impossible, when i think of my future i always picture a beautiful wife and children of my own, ive been one the laptop for 2 hours now trying to find a soultion this problem i have to which im happy that other people know what im talking about. Im not happy that they have it, because trust me it is pain, everyday i think about it, and it is just the worst feeling in the world. I need a soultion. anyone. anything. please.
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reading through these i couldnt help but cry... because it feels like theres no hope. i am a 17 year old male and im in a constant battle with myself. i dont wanna be gay and i wanna change. i was raised with 5 sisters and a gay brother. i am very feminin. from my voice to the way i carry myself. ever since i was little i was always teased about it and it hurt. till this day i hear it all the timee "are you gay?" or just straight up faggot" ive always denied it and sometimes i just want to admit it but i dont if that makes sense. im attracted to boys. ive never really had a girlfriend or boyfriend. i just dont knw what to do. and its tearing me apart. i wanna have a family and a "normal life and it makes me sad to feel like im going to be lonley for the rest of my life. all my friends have theyre gf or bf with them and im left alone. i just want to be loved by that special someone. i hate this! :/
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Hi Guest
I know the feeling it reminds me of when I was your age. I hated the feelings I had to other guys and even into my early 20's had very strong feelings towards men. But I have learned about these feelings and started to understand them and that they really do not have to control you in the way they do. Off course this doesn't just happen overnight, but it is very possible for this to change. I am one of many who have experienced this.
I was in a homosexual relationship when I was 14 years old. It really was a very confusing stage of my life, it was also about that time when I started to realize the God really care about me. I used to pray to him a lot because I didn't want to be the way I was. When I was 15 I can remember clearly sitting in front of the piano (I still love playing piano) and it hit me hard, maybe God created me like this. I didn't want to accept it. But for some time it was the reality that I lived with. about a year later I met a man whom I explain about my feelings. It really took a lot of me to open like this, but this man responded with care for me. He explained that I was not the only person struggling with these feelings and the God doesn't make people with them. I have then started a journey which took me many years, but I'm so glad I did took it on. Many people today do not want to accept what I'm sharing, but this is the truth.
Jesus said that we will know truth and the truth will then set us free. In simple terms if you believe a lie about yourself, believing in the truth will help you get out of the lie. This took me a few years to grasped because even thou, the man helping me was clear, but he still didn't understand my feelings. For him it was suppose to be a quick fix. A quick fix doesn't exist, you have to work out the truth and understand the depth of the lies that is so easy to believe. It actually shocked me when I realised what I believe do have the power to change my feelings, to make me change my sexuality. Even though it is blatantly clear that I am a man.
I have recently read a very good book that describe homosexuality and the impact it has on society. The book is called Desire and Deceit: The real cost of the new sexual tolerance by Albert Mohler. Get yourself a copy of this book. It doesn't talk about the solution but more about the problem, but it will help you to stay level headed and not stop fighting. This is the family that God wants to give you that you are fighting for.
So how do you change: You need to see who God created you to be. The only way you can get that is by study of the Bible. The bible is God documented views and explinations, there are tons in there that God didn't say (like historical events) but tons that he did say. So read to understand what the point is, because God spoke into the lives of really people struggling with issues like ours. Read the Psalms for instance, they have proofed to me beyond a doubt that we are talking about real people. I always find it helpful to start with basics, so going to a book in the new testament helped me a lot, Matthew is one of my favourites, but some people recommend John. You make a choice, but stick with that choice.
So you might wonder about the condemnation that Christians have towards homosexuality. Basically many of them really do not understand what they deal with. There are people that call themselves Christians that hate homosexuals (don't be fooled the Bible say they are not Christians) there are those so called Christians that say there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. They are also not teaching what the bible say. True Christianity admits that all humans (including me and you) have fundamental problems. My and my girlfriend had a discussion the other day about this. Everyone has demons they need to fight. You and I fight the same one, homosexuality.
This is the whole point why Christians are so excited about Jesus dying on the cross. You see in front of God who know all, and is above all powers (otherwise he will not be God, will he?) we look dirty, because we make mistakes. The bible call these mistakes sins, they are really only lies that we believe. You see God created us with a purpose. That purpose is to glorify him, if we believe a lie we believe the opposite to God, who is truth. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life and no one can come to the father except through me. Believing in lies will thus mean we are separated from God, because we come to God in truth. You see we all believe lies, no-one are perfect, we are all imperfect and make huge mistakes - even though I have learned a lot I still make stupid mistakes. But sin are so deep inside of us that we can barely imagine our lives without it. This is why people believe God created them like this. God doesn't do that, he wants you to be a man that loves his family.
You see the only way we can be perfect or forgiven before God and be able to approach God again will be if God wash our sins away. But how do you ask the God who needs to sustain all things to just wash everything away. God needs to be fair to all of his creation and punish those who turn away from order to be able to keep order. Someone must pay for these sins that we committed, for these lies to be exposed. In all fairness that needs to be me and you!
But Jesus die in our place, we didn't deserve it, He paid for us in full! I was reading in Luke 22 in this week where I could see Jesus literally giving himself up to be crucified. Go and read it. He know before they come to get him that they where coming... he could have run away, but He was part of a created plan to set homosexuals like you and me free!
You see this is why I love Jesus so much, He didn't give up on me and He is not about to give up on you! All you need to do is trust in Him and search for his truth and it will make you free. This might sound out of the ordinary, and it is! No-one dies for other people and ask them to believe in Him, he has to be either God or off his mind. Go and find out more about Jesus of Nazareth, I have found him to be one of my greatest inspirations to life. His words are amazing and the things He has done is unheard of.
But of course there will be people that fight this. I'm actually expecting them to fight back even on this blog. But you have the choice to be free in the truth, or live in the lie. If you learn about the truth and who God really created you to be (instead of believing what others are telling you) you will like me find freedom from these feelings.
I still have a choice, I'm 31 years old now. I can choose homosexuality any day. But I have learned to love being myself much more. Sometimes temptations come, but they are not nearly as strong as they used to be! I laugh about them now, because it just reminds me about how much more powerful the truth is above the lies that I used to believe.
Just for the record - there are no difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality. A guy looking a porn of a naked guys vs a guy looking a porn of naked woman is convinced of the same lie. That sex will set them free. Sex is meant to be for you wife. You must save if for her because it will mean you can be so much more intimate with her. So don't waste it on pleasure, homosexual pleasure or heterosexual pleasure is both very temporary.
In a sense all homosexual desire are desire for intimacy. God wants you to have intimacy, but in a way that He created you to have it... extremely fulfilling. much more fulfilling than homosexuality can ever offer.
I know there are many people out there saying that this God thing is nonsense, some of them even say they have tried it. I have tried it and at times was so hard I wanted to give up. But through the grace of God and His deep love for me I didn't.
I have a girlfriend at the moment and I love her so much! I love kissing her too and have real feelings for her (both in love and sexually) I want to ask her to marry me in the very near future. Not just because I want to have a family or I want to proof a point, but purely because I really love her, and cannot see my life without her.
I'm watching this blog and if you have more questions feel free to ask.
I know this sounds crazy because these feeling are so real, but if you are willing to fight your eyes will open to the power that lies can have on people, even better you will be able to see how much more powerful the truth is.
I know the feeling it reminds me of when I was your age. I hated the feelings I had to other guys and even into my early 20's had very strong feelings towards men. But I have learned about these feelings and started to understand them and that they really do not have to control you in the way they do. Off course this doesn't just happen overnight, but it is very possible for this to change. I am one of many who have experienced this.
I was in a homosexual relationship when I was 14 years old. It really was a very confusing stage of my life, it was also about that time when I started to realize the God really care about me. I used to pray to him a lot because I didn't want to be the way I was. When I was 15 I can remember clearly sitting in front of the piano (I still love playing piano) and it hit me hard, maybe God created me like this. I didn't want to accept it. But for some time it was the reality that I lived with. about a year later I met a man whom I explain about my feelings. It really took a lot of me to open like this, but this man responded with care for me. He explained that I was not the only person struggling with these feelings and the God doesn't make people with them. I have then started a journey which took me many years, but I'm so glad I did took it on. Many people today do not want to accept what I'm sharing, but this is the truth.
Jesus said that we will know truth and the truth will then set us free. In simple terms if you believe a lie about yourself, believing in the truth will help you get out of the lie. This took me a few years to grasped because even thou, the man helping me was clear, but he still didn't understand my feelings. For him it was suppose to be a quick fix. A quick fix doesn't exist, you have to work out the truth and understand the depth of the lies that is so easy to believe. It actually shocked me when I realised what I believe do have the power to change my feelings, to make me change my sexuality. Even though it is blatantly clear that I am a man.
I have recently read a very good book that describe homosexuality and the impact it has on society. The book is called Desire and Deceit: The real cost of the new sexual tolerance by Albert Mohler. Get yourself a copy of this book. It doesn't talk about the solution but more about the problem, but it will help you to stay level headed and not stop fighting. This is the family that God wants to give you that you are fighting for.
So how do you change: You need to see who God created you to be. The only way you can get that is by study of the Bible. The bible is God documented views and explinations, there are tons in there that God didn't say (like historical events) but tons that he did say. So read to understand what the point is, because God spoke into the lives of really people struggling with issues like ours. Read the Psalms for instance, they have proofed to me beyond a doubt that we are talking about real people. I always find it helpful to start with basics, so going to a book in the new testament helped me a lot, Matthew is one of my favourites, but some people recommend John. You make a choice, but stick with that choice.
So you might wonder about the condemnation that Christians have towards homosexuality. Basically many of them really do not understand what they deal with. There are people that call themselves Christians that hate homosexuals (don't be fooled the Bible say they are not Christians) there are those so called Christians that say there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. They are also not teaching what the bible say. True Christianity admits that all humans (including me and you) have fundamental problems. My and my girlfriend had a discussion the other day about this. Everyone has demons they need to fight. You and I fight the same one, homosexuality.
This is the whole point why Christians are so excited about Jesus dying on the cross. You see in front of God who know all, and is above all powers (otherwise he will not be God, will he?) we look dirty, because we make mistakes. The bible call these mistakes sins, they are really only lies that we believe. You see God created us with a purpose. That purpose is to glorify him, if we believe a lie we believe the opposite to God, who is truth. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life and no one can come to the father except through me. Believing in lies will thus mean we are separated from God, because we come to God in truth. You see we all believe lies, no-one are perfect, we are all imperfect and make huge mistakes - even though I have learned a lot I still make stupid mistakes. But sin are so deep inside of us that we can barely imagine our lives without it. This is why people believe God created them like this. God doesn't do that, he wants you to be a man that loves his family.
You see the only way we can be perfect or forgiven before God and be able to approach God again will be if God wash our sins away. But how do you ask the God who needs to sustain all things to just wash everything away. God needs to be fair to all of his creation and punish those who turn away from order to be able to keep order. Someone must pay for these sins that we committed, for these lies to be exposed. In all fairness that needs to be me and you!
But Jesus die in our place, we didn't deserve it, He paid for us in full! I was reading in Luke 22 in this week where I could see Jesus literally giving himself up to be crucified. Go and read it. He know before they come to get him that they where coming... he could have run away, but He was part of a created plan to set homosexuals like you and me free!
You see this is why I love Jesus so much, He didn't give up on me and He is not about to give up on you! All you need to do is trust in Him and search for his truth and it will make you free. This might sound out of the ordinary, and it is! No-one dies for other people and ask them to believe in Him, he has to be either God or off his mind. Go and find out more about Jesus of Nazareth, I have found him to be one of my greatest inspirations to life. His words are amazing and the things He has done is unheard of.
But of course there will be people that fight this. I'm actually expecting them to fight back even on this blog. But you have the choice to be free in the truth, or live in the lie. If you learn about the truth and who God really created you to be (instead of believing what others are telling you) you will like me find freedom from these feelings.
I still have a choice, I'm 31 years old now. I can choose homosexuality any day. But I have learned to love being myself much more. Sometimes temptations come, but they are not nearly as strong as they used to be! I laugh about them now, because it just reminds me about how much more powerful the truth is above the lies that I used to believe.
Just for the record - there are no difference between homosexuality and heterosexuality. A guy looking a porn of a naked guys vs a guy looking a porn of naked woman is convinced of the same lie. That sex will set them free. Sex is meant to be for you wife. You must save if for her because it will mean you can be so much more intimate with her. So don't waste it on pleasure, homosexual pleasure or heterosexual pleasure is both very temporary.
In a sense all homosexual desire are desire for intimacy. God wants you to have intimacy, but in a way that He created you to have it... extremely fulfilling. much more fulfilling than homosexuality can ever offer.
I know there are many people out there saying that this God thing is nonsense, some of them even say they have tried it. I have tried it and at times was so hard I wanted to give up. But through the grace of God and His deep love for me I didn't.
I have a girlfriend at the moment and I love her so much! I love kissing her too and have real feelings for her (both in love and sexually) I want to ask her to marry me in the very near future. Not just because I want to have a family or I want to proof a point, but purely because I really love her, and cannot see my life without her.
I'm watching this blog and if you have more questions feel free to ask.
I know this sounds crazy because these feeling are so real, but if you are willing to fight your eyes will open to the power that lies can have on people, even better you will be able to see how much more powerful the truth is.
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I've got similar problems. though my family is not against homosexuality, in my social life (narrow as it is due to my sexual preferences) I wouldn't feel safe by opening up and telling everyone the truth, since there's only one real friend i would really trust, and he lives far far away, in another city. What i would recommend you is to go away, if you have the chance, and start to live on your own, i mean, to start having a separate life from your close family and friends. In a way, become an owner of your life, and explore things. Im about to finish college, and soon will go to university, and may be I'll see to move from the city i'm living in now, to Buenos Aires (Argentina), to live near other relatives, and maybe rent an apartment. I'm telling you, I'ts not simple. But I need to find another social circle to live in, and you should do so too. Somewhere you feel more accepted and confident. Somewhere you can trust people, knowing that if one day you tell everyone else about it, you'll have backup no matter what happens.
Now, these days i've been reading on the internet this whole thing about 2012, and possible changes, and all metaphysics. I sometimes think (and this may be more like a wish inside me) that at that point, we will all humans be connected with each others, that our brains will develop in such a way that we will be capable of understanding all of this. Who knows, we may all becom bi or tri o multisexuals or whatever, or maybe sex wont even be that of a big deal. May be I'm just talking BS, nonsense, but at least, that really gives me a lot of faith to continue, and to live a little bit happier.
I really hope you the best. Let me tell you that i've just talked you really from the bottom of my heart and SOUL (if there is such thing-if not, its just metaphoric). It may sound corny but it's because i can understand you. But NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELL'S YOU, DO NOT DESIST.
If you believe in god, the cristian God, then you should know that he loves you no matter what. LOVE is what unifies everyone, and that's what every single religion looks for. The union between all beings.
Good bye. I really hope this helped you a bit.
Now, these days i've been reading on the internet this whole thing about 2012, and possible changes, and all metaphysics. I sometimes think (and this may be more like a wish inside me) that at that point, we will all humans be connected with each others, that our brains will develop in such a way that we will be capable of understanding all of this. Who knows, we may all becom bi or tri o multisexuals or whatever, or maybe sex wont even be that of a big deal. May be I'm just talking BS, nonsense, but at least, that really gives me a lot of faith to continue, and to live a little bit happier.
I really hope you the best. Let me tell you that i've just talked you really from the bottom of my heart and SOUL (if there is such thing-if not, its just metaphoric). It may sound corny but it's because i can understand you. But NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE TELL'S YOU, DO NOT DESIST.
If you believe in god, the cristian God, then you should know that he loves you no matter what. LOVE is what unifies everyone, and that's what every single religion looks for. The union between all beings.
Good bye. I really hope this helped you a bit.
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jt's very difficut to understand, im 19 i was arrested for indecent exposure, because i was was jerkin at a theater after smoking really really really strong weed, i was seeing colors, and i forgot where i was at, y therapist said i most likel had a psychotic reaction to it. but anyways, one year later, I have a girlfriend, I thought i was Bi-sexual, but now im mostly straight. it's hard for me though, im a saved christian, and the urge be with men has gone done drastically, but it's still there, i would like to have a wife and kids, me and my GF talk about it. but honestly idk. i feel like she isn't always the right one for me, but im just trying to wait and see and make sure that she is before i commit.
one of the ways i overcame it was being discipled by my pastor who i also made my confession of faith to. i got to know God alo more. i have a better understanding of what he wants me to do with my life. but im still not completely sure, but i trust him. i get all the signs God sends me, but i also get the other ones, telling me its OK to pick up with my old lifestyle again, even though it caused me lots of pain. but im not going to, so far, i've been able to do things that i never had the means to before, i've become a leader in my church of sorts, im not at the top. but i would never have gotten there before if it wasnt for God and the passion he gave me to change.
I have had sex wth men before, and honestly, i felt like dirty digusting sh*t afterwards, but i wanted to try everything at least once. (I.E. top, bottom, scking.) i felt horrid and guilty and disgusting afterwards, but i could help myself, i wanted to do it. but those were random one night stands with guys. do not do that!!!!! its not worth it no matter ow much you desire it!!!!!!
i encourage to get involved with your church, find one where the people you meet there become like friends and a second famil, and PRAY! alot! i know i still need prayer. but the main point i want to get at is this:
be happy with what you have, you're young like me and still have a future ahead of you.
you don't need someone else to feel complete yet especially when you don't even know who you really are yet and you shouldn't force yourself into relationship/ marriage out of scared desperation to feel normal.
don't throw your energy into something that isnt the be-all end-all thing in your life because if anything, that will become a set back.
learn to find yourself, and who you are and what you believe, and what you want and than learn to love that person.
once that is complete, than you can begin to think about marriage were taught to believe that everyone has a soul mate, usually someone you spend the rest of your life with, but that could be your best friend, not your wife. you don't have to be married to have a complete full life. marriage is an option. not a rule. don't worry, if that person is out there, you'll find them! i had honestly made the decision to become celibate, and i told my friend THAT day that i was going to do it. and then that night i met this girl, and we have been going out for two months now and it's the only relationship i have been in, and there are times when i feel tested. but i know in the end it will all work for the best, whether we get married and grow old, or whether we break up.
God makes all things work together for good. so just listen to what He tells you and trust him.
one of the ways i overcame it was being discipled by my pastor who i also made my confession of faith to. i got to know God alo more. i have a better understanding of what he wants me to do with my life. but im still not completely sure, but i trust him. i get all the signs God sends me, but i also get the other ones, telling me its OK to pick up with my old lifestyle again, even though it caused me lots of pain. but im not going to, so far, i've been able to do things that i never had the means to before, i've become a leader in my church of sorts, im not at the top. but i would never have gotten there before if it wasnt for God and the passion he gave me to change.
I have had sex wth men before, and honestly, i felt like dirty digusting sh*t afterwards, but i wanted to try everything at least once. (I.E. top, bottom, scking.) i felt horrid and guilty and disgusting afterwards, but i could help myself, i wanted to do it. but those were random one night stands with guys. do not do that!!!!! its not worth it no matter ow much you desire it!!!!!!
i encourage to get involved with your church, find one where the people you meet there become like friends and a second famil, and PRAY! alot! i know i still need prayer. but the main point i want to get at is this:
be happy with what you have, you're young like me and still have a future ahead of you.
you don't need someone else to feel complete yet especially when you don't even know who you really are yet and you shouldn't force yourself into relationship/ marriage out of scared desperation to feel normal.
don't throw your energy into something that isnt the be-all end-all thing in your life because if anything, that will become a set back.
learn to find yourself, and who you are and what you believe, and what you want and than learn to love that person.
once that is complete, than you can begin to think about marriage were taught to believe that everyone has a soul mate, usually someone you spend the rest of your life with, but that could be your best friend, not your wife. you don't have to be married to have a complete full life. marriage is an option. not a rule. don't worry, if that person is out there, you'll find them! i had honestly made the decision to become celibate, and i told my friend THAT day that i was going to do it. and then that night i met this girl, and we have been going out for two months now and it's the only relationship i have been in, and there are times when i feel tested. but i know in the end it will all work for the best, whether we get married and grow old, or whether we break up.
God makes all things work together for good. so just listen to what He tells you and trust him.
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Hi Martin,
I already tried this. I've tried it all my life. I was born and raised in a conservative Christian home, and throughout my life I prayed, asked God to change me. Nothing happened, and here I am 23 years of age, and hopeless. Tonight I completely gave up, and renounced God's involvement in my life. I asked God why he abandoned me in this aspect of my life. I feel so helpless, and I want so badly to change, and I want to have a normal Christian life. I want to be able to have a family and children, but take my secret to the grave. I understand that all of us face demons, like some people have a tendency to steal, I have a tendency towards homosexual behavior. But being a homosexual is much harder, especially when you are faced with the pressures of society. A society that shuns and excommunicates anyone that is not the same, a society that expects by age 27, you are married and babies will be on the way soon. My specific community is what makes it the hardest. How can fulfill expectations when there is no way possible? All of my perpetual struggles have been eclipsed by the fact that God hasn't changed me, the fear that he never will, and question of if he has the ability to, WHY DOESN'T HE? I feel like you're going to keep telling me to believe, but I'm done with believing that he'll change me. Every time I think of the future, my heart drops. The thought of my wedding night, and my honeymoon, and not being able to give my wife the emotional connection I'm supposed to give her. It makes me sad, anxious, resentful, and hopeless. Help me.
I already tried this. I've tried it all my life. I was born and raised in a conservative Christian home, and throughout my life I prayed, asked God to change me. Nothing happened, and here I am 23 years of age, and hopeless. Tonight I completely gave up, and renounced God's involvement in my life. I asked God why he abandoned me in this aspect of my life. I feel so helpless, and I want so badly to change, and I want to have a normal Christian life. I want to be able to have a family and children, but take my secret to the grave. I understand that all of us face demons, like some people have a tendency to steal, I have a tendency towards homosexual behavior. But being a homosexual is much harder, especially when you are faced with the pressures of society. A society that shuns and excommunicates anyone that is not the same, a society that expects by age 27, you are married and babies will be on the way soon. My specific community is what makes it the hardest. How can fulfill expectations when there is no way possible? All of my perpetual struggles have been eclipsed by the fact that God hasn't changed me, the fear that he never will, and question of if he has the ability to, WHY DOESN'T HE? I feel like you're going to keep telling me to believe, but I'm done with believing that he'll change me. Every time I think of the future, my heart drops. The thought of my wedding night, and my honeymoon, and not being able to give my wife the emotional connection I'm supposed to give her. It makes me sad, anxious, resentful, and hopeless. Help me.
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Hi Novalundquist
I understand that you feel that you have been left by God, so countless times I have felt the same. Running away but always somehow found a need for God in my life. I'm hungry for God and want to know him more and more. God has loved me back with all my feelings and is really willing to help you get out of your predicament. The reality is that God know who you are and what He has made you. He has made you a man and his intention for you are to glorify him, families are part of God's glory. Speak to a new father about this glory and he will not stop talking. What you need to realize is that your feelings doesn't define who you are. But that you believe the bible and the obvious reality that you are male and not female.
Sure you would want to have feelings for woman because you feel that is what men do. But I would like to challenge your understanding of this. Are you not trying to replace one form of lust with another. The bible is clear that it condemn lust and therefore it is wrong whether it is toward a man or a woman. Your problem is not homosexuality, but just another form of lust. This explains why people will feel "feelings" for both male and female calling it "Bi-sexual" where in reality all it is, is lust for sex. Homosexuality really is a label created by psychologist to explain the behavior. But the bible puts homosexuality in the category of lust.
Therefore your demon is nothing different to that of a guy lusting after woman. Don't believe the lies that you are cured once you get an erection when looking at a picture of a naked woman. God's intention was not lust at all, but his intention for men was integrity, honesty, stewardship and priesthood. Don't get confused, the cure that you believe to be the cure, is not correct. What you need to pursue is purity in thoughts and how to life righteously as a man. Not to lust after woman instead of men. This will only cause you to be confused.
Sure you are 23 years of age. I'm 31 and still have to guard my heart against lust, most men do, but it is way easier now than when I was your age! I used to walk with my eyes on the ground not to be tempted because it was so powerful, but with time and much thought about the biblical way God wants me to be I started to see these desires for what they are, just lust.
If you believe that God can help a compulsive thief then He can help you with your compulsive lust. You must see the advantage of this, that God has been given you the opportunity to see the world differently. So many men fall in the trap that lust is normal and should be permitted, the bible say those people have a very likely change to go to hell. But Jesus said clearly that he did not come to condemn the world to hell, but to save the world from it. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" He can save you and if you keep on searching the doors will open.
I am so grateful that God has allowed homosexuality in my life. So much of the thoughts and understandings that I have learned from the bible is deeper to me that most other Christians around me. If I speak to someone about the truth that set you free I understand that it is LIES that hold us from the truth. I understand how powerful lies are, that they can even control my feelings and make me believe other lies about myself. The truth is that God desires you to be a man which is the reason He created you like that. You are not created with feelings for men, but you merely believe a lie. This lie is very convincing - the mere fact you get such outrage from the homosexual community about it when Christians speak against this. Many believe God created them homosexual, I used to believe it too.
This one simple truth helped me so much - God created them man and woman (Adam and Eve). He never intended us to be man and man - never is it permitted, because it doesn't portray the image and love of God.
The truth was a bright light that shine in my life. It directed me to God's desire and what he wants from me, when everything fails only truth remain.
Something else you need to watch out for is fear. I had a lot of fear in my life. Fear to be a failure, fear to disappoint those around me. I felt the pressure so much to have a family. We do not have to be in fear. We can live a stable life, but it does mean that we will have to learn to trust God.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible
This is not blind faith I'm talking about, we know the facts you are a man, I'm a man. But what you are unsure off is the future, but no-one can see the future, only God can, because He is above all. He is everywhere and almighty. He has all things in his hand and He knows your need and need you to trust Him in the way that He play this out. You do that by faith - the opposite is fear. Fear is the believe that God is not in control, doesn't know what is going on, and is human and limited like us. Faith in a god like that doesn't produce any fruit other than self destruction. But if you believe in the God the bible describe you will found a source of hope that allows you to move mountains like your need to be free from homosexuality.
O God doesn't take the feelings away (at least not immediately), but he teach you about truth and himself - trust Him and you will find your wife. James teaches us that if we get challenged by trials we should be glad, because it define our faith better.
Your challenge has to change it's focus, you should not focus on getting a family or pleasing people around you, but you should focus on the beautiful glory of God. The God who tells us that He is truth. Only once you keep your eyes on Him will the things of this world grow dim. He knows when He wants you to be married, believe and trust in Him, and don't fear!
I wish we could make contact and speak about this face to face. But I do believe that there are some benefit in having this discussion online so that others can also understand this topic better. So please lets keep the discussion alive.
I will be praying for you, God is true and will intervene.
Martin
I understand that you feel that you have been left by God, so countless times I have felt the same. Running away but always somehow found a need for God in my life. I'm hungry for God and want to know him more and more. God has loved me back with all my feelings and is really willing to help you get out of your predicament. The reality is that God know who you are and what He has made you. He has made you a man and his intention for you are to glorify him, families are part of God's glory. Speak to a new father about this glory and he will not stop talking. What you need to realize is that your feelings doesn't define who you are. But that you believe the bible and the obvious reality that you are male and not female.
Sure you would want to have feelings for woman because you feel that is what men do. But I would like to challenge your understanding of this. Are you not trying to replace one form of lust with another. The bible is clear that it condemn lust and therefore it is wrong whether it is toward a man or a woman. Your problem is not homosexuality, but just another form of lust. This explains why people will feel "feelings" for both male and female calling it "Bi-sexual" where in reality all it is, is lust for sex. Homosexuality really is a label created by psychologist to explain the behavior. But the bible puts homosexuality in the category of lust.
Therefore your demon is nothing different to that of a guy lusting after woman. Don't believe the lies that you are cured once you get an erection when looking at a picture of a naked woman. God's intention was not lust at all, but his intention for men was integrity, honesty, stewardship and priesthood. Don't get confused, the cure that you believe to be the cure, is not correct. What you need to pursue is purity in thoughts and how to life righteously as a man. Not to lust after woman instead of men. This will only cause you to be confused.
Sure you are 23 years of age. I'm 31 and still have to guard my heart against lust, most men do, but it is way easier now than when I was your age! I used to walk with my eyes on the ground not to be tempted because it was so powerful, but with time and much thought about the biblical way God wants me to be I started to see these desires for what they are, just lust.
If you believe that God can help a compulsive thief then He can help you with your compulsive lust. You must see the advantage of this, that God has been given you the opportunity to see the world differently. So many men fall in the trap that lust is normal and should be permitted, the bible say those people have a very likely change to go to hell. But Jesus said clearly that he did not come to condemn the world to hell, but to save the world from it. "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" He can save you and if you keep on searching the doors will open.
I am so grateful that God has allowed homosexuality in my life. So much of the thoughts and understandings that I have learned from the bible is deeper to me that most other Christians around me. If I speak to someone about the truth that set you free I understand that it is LIES that hold us from the truth. I understand how powerful lies are, that they can even control my feelings and make me believe other lies about myself. The truth is that God desires you to be a man which is the reason He created you like that. You are not created with feelings for men, but you merely believe a lie. This lie is very convincing - the mere fact you get such outrage from the homosexual community about it when Christians speak against this. Many believe God created them homosexual, I used to believe it too.
This one simple truth helped me so much - God created them man and woman (Adam and Eve). He never intended us to be man and man - never is it permitted, because it doesn't portray the image and love of God.
The truth was a bright light that shine in my life. It directed me to God's desire and what he wants from me, when everything fails only truth remain.
Something else you need to watch out for is fear. I had a lot of fear in my life. Fear to be a failure, fear to disappoint those around me. I felt the pressure so much to have a family. We do not have to be in fear. We can live a stable life, but it does mean that we will have to learn to trust God.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. For by it the people of old received their commendation. By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible
This is not blind faith I'm talking about, we know the facts you are a man, I'm a man. But what you are unsure off is the future, but no-one can see the future, only God can, because He is above all. He is everywhere and almighty. He has all things in his hand and He knows your need and need you to trust Him in the way that He play this out. You do that by faith - the opposite is fear. Fear is the believe that God is not in control, doesn't know what is going on, and is human and limited like us. Faith in a god like that doesn't produce any fruit other than self destruction. But if you believe in the God the bible describe you will found a source of hope that allows you to move mountains like your need to be free from homosexuality.
O God doesn't take the feelings away (at least not immediately), but he teach you about truth and himself - trust Him and you will find your wife. James teaches us that if we get challenged by trials we should be glad, because it define our faith better.
Your challenge has to change it's focus, you should not focus on getting a family or pleasing people around you, but you should focus on the beautiful glory of God. The God who tells us that He is truth. Only once you keep your eyes on Him will the things of this world grow dim. He knows when He wants you to be married, believe and trust in Him, and don't fear!
I wish we could make contact and speak about this face to face. But I do believe that there are some benefit in having this discussion online so that others can also understand this topic better. So please lets keep the discussion alive.
I will be praying for you, God is true and will intervene.
Martin
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Martin,
Thank you so much for posting that. That is exactly what I needed to hear. I guess the pressures or society created a sense of fear in me that completely overtook me. Why should I worry, when God already knows who my wife is, and he already knows the name of my third child? That means its already done. My future is already complete and perfect in God's eyes. Thank you so much for refreshing my views on this. I too would like to contact you outside of this forum, but I feel that if there's someone else out there looking for answers, they should have somewhere to look as well.
For all of you previous and future posters, I can only tell you that knowing Jesus Christ has always been the rock that has kept me down. I wouldn't be here unless it was for Him. I don't know if you know him, or have ever even heard of him, but he is a great God. He created you, and wants to know you personally. He is waiting just to get to know you better. Every person has his faults and sins, and we as human beings, are supposed to go to hell for these things. But Jesus Christ made the way for us to be saved from hell. He died a painful death for us, and rose from the dead, so that we may be free. With his death, came our life, he created complete and total solvency when the price of our sins was more than anything could pay for. Now we are free from our sins. We can still go to heaven, as long as we put our faith in Jesus Christ. If you do not know God, and you want to know him now, if something is tugging at your heart to turn away from sin and come to God, or if you know God already and want to rededicate your life back to God, please pray the following prayer.
Dear Lord Jesus in heaven, you see me now at a very low point in my life. I am struggling and longing to know the uncertain. There are so many questions in my head right now. You see me while I am in this pit, I am a total sinner. I have sinned throughout my lifetime and I need you now. Please take my life, I give it to you right now. Take my heart, come live in me, and move in me, and breathe in me. Because you have died for me, I am free from sin, and I acknowledge you are God, you died a gruesome death for me on the cross, and rose from the grave, and now I am free from sin's mark on my life. I believe all of this with my whole heart. Thank you for the mercy you have shown me. I know from now on that my life is in your hands, and that I no longer have to worry about anything in the future, because you will bring the right person to me at the right time. Thank you Lord, I love you and want to know you further. Please continue to be in my life, as I will pray to you and to continue to do so. Amen.
For everyone that is worrying on this forum, please do not worry anymore. God has a plan for you, just listen to him and he will bring you the girl of your wildest dreams. Someone you are attracted to, and someone you will have a family with. There might be some pain or fear or uncertainty in the process, but just has Martin just stated, put your complete and total faith in him, and he will have your back.
If you are longing to continue your life in Christ please see the following resources.
***this post is edited by moderator *** *** web addresses not allowed***
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Thanks Novalundquist
I'm grateful that what I wrote could benefit and encourage you. Please note of some of the points I mentioned before.
1. Please do not try to get feelings for woman - These are something that will come with a clean understanding of sexuality, the way God intended it to be. So focus on purifying your mind to the standards of scripture. A good book to read is a little book called "Desire and Deceit: The Real Cost of the New Sexual Tolerance" by Albert Mohler. This book start with a extremely good description of what sexuality should look like and how it is looking today.
2. You should not neglect your choice in the decision for a wife. I have always thought that God will make the "one" knock on my door one day. This is bad thinking and un-biblical. We all have choices and getting married to a person is one of them. My suggestion will be to start getting to know girls. Ignore your homosexuality, let God sort that out. But focus on finding out what exactly you want in a woman. My list looks something like this - a) She must want to have children, b) she should not have a career that is more important that family. c)She must be committed to God. d) She must not be lazy, but enjoy living
The list is a little longer but these cover the basics. This list took me some hard knocks to get too.
I currently have a girlfriend that fit all of them. She is my third girlfriend ever and I'm learning to love her. In all cases of dating these woman I made some very bad mistakes but learned so much. Don't run into dating a woman like I did, but rather get to know her and only once you think you need to get to know her better try to speak to her about your intentions. I'm extremely open with my current girlfriend about my past - I think this makes it easier for me to not feel guilty if I'm flooded with temptations.
We kiss romantically - and yes I get butterflies and get sexually excited when we do. I have found that my feelings toward her is stronger when I keep my mind and heart clean from lust.
There have been some questions on the board which asked if it is okay to date if you have not feelings towards someone. I would suggest yes, because I have found that the intense loving feelings come.
3. Relationships are not easy, I have found myself to be one of the worst people in the world to date. But my current girlfriend is very patient and she is a gem to me. I found irritations and little things she do that makes her look bad. At that point it is easy to give up, but I have found the pushing for a deeper understanding of the person helps for more intimacy and intimacy makes relationships worth it. So don't be afraid at the first sign of conflict or struggle, but keep on pursuing the relationship.
4. Relationships with the same sex are not as intimate as opposite sex relationships. You might get tempted to believe the opposite, but don't, it's not the way God created humans. God created intimacy to his glory.
5. Find someone who you can trust to be a sound board for your relationship. If it wasn't for my mentor I would have neglected my relationship with my girlfriend and we would not be together anymore. But their truths helped me clear my mind and direct my path to build instead of destroy.
I hope these help you moving on. Look to the creator God that the bible describe. He has good intentions to all people and wants all people to have full life and joy, especially in their relationships.
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Buddy I just cant believe there are so many people having the same problem like I do.... i wish everyone in this world were normal, happy but i cant even think of my life being all alone.... i feel so bad when all my juniors at school and college are getting married and leading a wonderful life...
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tom wrote:
I was gay was only thinking about sex with other guys. But I don't want that anymore. In fact I fell in love with a girl and we got married two months ago and am extremely happy!
Read my other posts, I have explained this in detail - you don't have to be gay.
salty wrote:
my lifes on the same cycle too
i am 25 year old boy and having strong thoughts of gay upon my same sexed friends.
i had sex with many boyfriends and girlfriends and just so confused wat my life is going through
i am confused that is it that i am going to be single gay forever or will i get over it and fulfil my dreams
of becoming a father with many children and a beautiful wife
but the problem now is that i kinda confused wat my choice will be
highly, i prefer getting married and having kids of my own
another problem is that i always getting jealouse of my younger cousin brothers who may look
very cute, getting more beautiful gals, having lot of male friends than i do, and have those manly attitudes and behavours that
i wish to have. many of them are so PERFECT and i always have gayish thoughts with them, however i
also lured them to my satisfaction.
on the other hand, my girlfriends always staking me about my attitudes and action, and are afraid i am
showin some gay around and how i stare while talking to guys, and how i speak and act infront of many
of my cute cousins.
however a fortnight ago, my exgirlfriend tells me that she overheard rumors about me sleeping wif one on my cousins.
immediately i broke wif her, telling if she doesnt trust me than im gone ...... she changed her mind, but i just broke the chain anyway because i need time to see if i am a real gay or a straight dude
well now im at the internet 24/7 getting many information about my own inner self
but kinda couldnt find em
HELP
Buddy I just cant believe there are so many people having the same problem like I do.... i wish everyone in this world were normal, happy but i cant even think of my life being all alone.... i feel so bad when all my juniors at school and college are getting married and leading a wonderful life...
I was gay was only thinking about sex with other guys. But I don't want that anymore. In fact I fell in love with a girl and we got married two months ago and am extremely happy!
Read my other posts, I have explained this in detail - you don't have to be gay.
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