I have inner homosexual feelings from childhood but have not had any intercourse.
I also do admire girls and their beauty.
Now i need need offsprings.
I would like to marry and I wish to be staight from now on.
and make sure to write a reply to it.. im very interested of peoples thoughts on it..
I don't see why you couldn't get married. If you like women more, then marry a woman--it is legal in some places. If you like men more, then marry a man. Don't marry though until you are sure of what you want. Have some fun...experiment...find out what you like.
As far as kids go, you can still have children...you just have to find another way of doing it. I plan to have one of my close male friends father a child for me--I'm a lesbian by the way. My girlfriend plans to adopt.
I hope I have helped and if you have anymore questions, please feel free to ask me.
P.S.--Vijayfsfs, if the questions/comment you have are directly to me, just say, "Dear healthfreak88," or something like that.
We simply here in the millenia year of 2008 have no idea or at least only some small evidence pointing to the reason we have same sex attraction is available and we CANNOT limit it to the over inflated red flag term GAY. some people have mainly no attraction to same sex, some people have mostly and some fall somewhere in between... that's it. It IS the latest cutting edge findings by research medically and phsycologically that ALL or MOST of the world can swing to Bi, in fact we are potentially TRI-sexual which includes ourselves through masturbation.
Science has found the findings for same sex attraction occurs biologically before birth. There is some form of imbalance biologically that can determine a childs sexuality based on the ideal genetic model of human beings. Most scientists agree genetics appears to be the reason for many problems but that's another debate. ... Though to compare, homosexuality exists in the animal kingdom on a small level too, but given I grew up on a farm my observation and experience along with science proves animals have no sense of reason beyond basic neorlogical survival patterns, they make choices without clearly defined analyitical and conscious knowledge, it is purely instinct and survival experience.
Humans however are physical, spiritual and reason based consciously aware beings currnetly living in the INFOTECH age of knowing almost everything, though we are all humbled and made real by being broken at sometime, somewhere, somehow and that is due to our history and at times due to our ancestors and personal pain in life experience.
Can a gay man become straight? There is no such thing as Gay really. It is science proving by researched statistics (not opinionated on the spot stuff) that shows almost the entire planet to be potentially bisexual or essentially tri-sexual which includes masturbation (sex with ourselves).
What in many cases also arises with same sex attraction is Gender confusion known historically as a phsycological imbalance that has been buffered (quietned down) to not offend transgender people and allow people to be what they want regardless given that is now regarded a basic human right today. The belief one is of the opposite sex phsycologically even though mediaclly, physically and gentically they are not, is lately hardly discussed except in some Real TV observations that allow the viewer their own opinion. This IS physcological and same sex orientation does not exist as some strange alien universal entity within us that we haven't discovered yet. It begins biologically pre birth which can govern the thoughts which then later associate to familliar emotions and feelings, a pattern of behaviour DOES emerge through the thoughts of an infant and their emerging beief system(environment) is still not known to influence sexual orientation.
Punishment, condemnation, CURE as such is potentially harmful and not wise. How ever opposite sex relationships even if you have same sex attraction and thoughts IS still a pesons right and NOT open for others judgements and opinions. THIS TOO Is a basic human right which is trampeled on constantly and often by some people who are same sex oriented.
Go for it, have a family, YOU DO have that choice but follow your heart and be wise, don't experiment pursay but go by your inner gut feeling and your mindset to YOUR dream of a life with a wife of YOUR choice and YOUR children and YOUR LIFE. DO it and forget everybody else.
So what if you like to randomly check out the other dudes, though it is disresectful believe it or not to do this in obvious ways and makes a person wheteher guy or girl feel trashy. If you find a girl you like and fall in love remembering the rules of science that sexually an erection is stimulated by warm mutual feelings and intimacy associated between two people who love each other not JUST physical lust which in most cases is not a healthy approach to any relationship anyway, it is the connection of two people that find each other attractive that is wise.
Science on the edge has lately discovered that the more like you your future lover is, the more likely you will stay together, just stay faithful to one person that is the key, it's called self control and consideration. Your identity IS NOT ANYTHING to do with who creases your jeans. It's your heart that guides you.
Simply put. It is a fact most people are or have been and absolutely DO check out (or in 10 percent cases of married men) have sex with the same sex straight or whatever they wanna call themselves.
The problem isn't about SEX. It's about commitment and personal choice if you can. If you marry a woman if you love her, you are cruel to have sex with anyone or anything again period regardless if you find the boys cute, laugh about it, it really comes down to that, keep it light and accept it, or the babes hot, it is YOUR life and YOUR choice but your responsinbility to the other person. You may even find (though not always reccommended) she understands.
If you have had gay sex and gay thoughts and feelings (even most of your life) and you would like to be married to a woman and have kids you need to consider the facts. Your focus for a dream of a family needs to be on the beautiful person, "The girl" of your choice to be your dream of a lifelong partner and best friend and lover and the dream of children comes after that. Don't always trust your feelings, they can lie to you. She is not an object of sex or a distant fantasy for offspring but someone you will potentially and individully love being with, and the feelings of lust and sex come with intimate connection and love for her.
I encourage you look at woman and accept you are a man like the rest of us and it IS your choice if you can and if you WANT to pursue your dream girl. No law exists and certainly no cynical, mean negotive judgement can stop you. She is the person inside her who matches you, makes you feel like yourslef, accepts you exactly how you are and her attraction to you and vice vercer. Find her, talk to her, build her up and remind yourself by building up yourself you are somebody's man and a husband and father to be. Expect ups and downs, dissapoinment and heart break, relationships can be like that. Just judge wisely by looking deep in the eyes of a person and trust yourself to what you see.
You may not have ever focused on woman before in a loving or even sexual way without the need to feel you HAVE to in order to cure your same sex attraction or peer pressure. You can't necessarily take away that attraction, but you are better and it is healthier to openly accept it, treat it as a small part of you and take it lightly, not condemn yourself or fear it cause "we all got it" scientifically just in stronger doses than others which profoundly causes humanity to whack those derogitory PC labels on people which have absolutely no substanciated boundries or knowledge to date.
We guys have all checked out other dudes no matter what label we put on it and many of us have acted upon it. Many woman have dealt with their same sex attractions or are bi too. Have no regrets in fact some chicks think it's kinda hot to date a guy who swings and encourages it as natural. It's the COMMITMENT to her that matters, you are allowed to find that gym buff cute, grin and comment to yourself honestly..he's hot, but the person you are with is your life partner and you don't have to wear other peoples judgements and narrow minded self generated advice. I talk in FACTS not opinions. If you are in a relationship gay or straight it is selfish, hurtful and heartless to have an affair on them AND NO PC NONSENSE CAN MAKE THAT OK>>>EVER.
Go for it dude, it will take some time in your head to work out you will be spending all your time intimately with someone and sex with anyone else is off limits.
Many bisexual woman have husbands, whos complaining about that! In fact hubbys go out to find an extra one which often than not destroys the relationship, not good. You can't deny that you have same sex attraction and it doesn't matter..BUT REMEMBER IT"S YOUR LIFE! You need to genuinly seek an inner attraction to a girl that you like as a friend just be honest with yourself and smile cause it happened and forgive yourself.
You are allowed to experiment that is your right, it seems ok for people to jump the fence but if you jump back, back lashes from nasty judgmental narrow minds are suddenly abusing your choice claiming you are gay for life... SORRY-NO PROOF! Who the hell do they think they are, better us practicing and truly sincere professionals who go by the latest research and good ole down to earth common sense than some half baked meany. Science in fact has kept some findings under the carpet until more proof can be found, it seems either genetic DNA mutation, rejection in the womb and many other theories are showing more light to it.
Homosexual, heterosexual and bi-sexual describe an act and a private life not a persons identity. Who came up with this stuff to label a person, when science has little to go on. THATS CRAZY. Some of us guys have formed sexual addictions wheteher same sex or other and this MUST be managed and dealth with properly by asking for help before pursuing anyone for love.
Take care all people of your OWN heart, follow IT, it will guide you to YOUR truth and there is someone for everyone, don't listen to home job DIY phsycologists.
I guess the thing here is that you don't keep secrets from your wife.
Although above it sounds suicidal it is not, I have patience but I'm fighting a battle with no winner inside me. Is there a solution? Can anyone tell me that: hey! you must do this and that and it will be ok. But unfortunately there is no such answer I know it! so how do I continue? The only thing that holds me is my studies which Thank God I'm doing great and first of my class but this doesnt fulfill me. I have read a lot about homosexuality and peoples view on the net but it cannot apply here... This is the first time though that I post.
i suggest that you move somewhere you can be yourself, and stop worrying about what other people think. its not important.
you are perfectly normal
Like the person above me,, even i too have this same trouble...!!
We are all on the same old boat...
i too love to have a family, but the problem I am afraid of now is how can i have sex with ma wife even if i marry one??
When i don't normally get an erection while with a girl...
I am afraid, what would she think of me if my penis doesn't raise??
But still, I want a wife, I want a child, I want a happy family that cares for me, the society that looks upto me...!!
I hope there is a way for us, if not, I would like to be killed in some freak accident or something,, not sucide for sure..!!
my email id is ***this post is edited by moderator *** *** private e-mails not allowed **
please do contact me, if anyone here has same thoughts...!!
I feel kind of better to know there are people who actually go through same feelings.
I myself think about that alot. not to know what your future life could be.
would like to have a family but not sure you can do it!
Being afraid of people that they might notice your behavior so you push them away and wouldn't get attached.
I think its normal.
Bottom line life ain't easy, what I can say is a relationship with a guy might not be what you are looking for.
I really think you should try to date a woman and take it slow, see if you get to like her and get attached.
If you don't like it just stop it. By dating you are not lying. who knows you might find out that afterall you
can have what you want!
Loving someone has many sacrifices - Many people just don't get it
i am 25 year old boy and having strong thoughts of gay upon my same sexed friends.
i had sex with many boyfriends and girlfriends and just so confused wat my life is going through
i am confused that is it that i am going to be single gay forever or will i get over it and fulfil my dreams
of becoming a father with many children and a beautiful wife
but the problem now is that i kinda confused wat my choice will be
highly, i prefer getting married and having kids of my own
another problem is that i always getting jealouse of my younger cousin brothers who may look
very cute, getting more beautiful gals, having lot of male friends than i do, and have those manly attitudes and behavours that
i wish to have. many of them are so PERFECT and i always have gayish thoughts with them, however i
also lured them to my satisfaction.
on the other hand, my girlfriends always staking me about my attitudes and action, and are afraid i am
showin some gay around and how i stare while talking to guys, and how i speak and act infront of many
of my cute cousins.
however a fortnight ago, my exgirlfriend tells me that she overheard rumors about me sleeping wif one on my cousins.
immediately i broke wif her, telling if she doesnt trust me than im gone ...... she changed her mind, but i just broke the chain anyway because i need time to see if i am a real gay or a straight dude
well now im at the internet 24/7 getting many information about my own inner self
but kinda couldnt find em
Well I agree with one of the big posts above about the bi- or even tri-nature of people's sexuality... I remember myself as a child aged 13 checking out naked women pictures and having an erection... but i also remember myself having an erection in the bath-house when i used to go there with my father... I don't know how, but somehow by the age of 15-16 i started to get more interested in males, and that age is when you realize many things... well then started the period of denial mixed with an unconscious desire to be engrossed in studies - final exams at school, university entrance exams, university itself. It is now that i realize it was in a way an escape from fears of being denied and at the same time a self-affirmation that can be expressed by the following: If u work hard, you'll get your problems solved...u must imagine how difficult it was when by 21-23 i realized that they are not going to be solved, Oh sh*t I am not straight, i am different, i am f***ed.... Now i am more or less in peace with my sexuality, BUT still cannot put up with how the things are... and I hate that fact... I from time to time catch myself analyzing different scenarios of my future, and always see nothing better than having a family... but how, i don't know where to start...
I don't know why i am writing this... maybe to realize that i have to take some steps to have the future i think of or maybe because i'm at home alone and it is my birthday today.... well i am just lonely... btw would be glad to talk to people with whom i am in the boat)