Im 20 and I want a baby

fiona2307184768 over a year ago

Im 20 (well nearly) and I want a baby. I am in a long term relationship, and I cant seem to shut off this urge to have a family with my boyfriend. I know its not logical to have a child at this age, Im starting college in September, I only have a part-time job, I dont live with my boyfriend and he doesnt have a job because he is a full time student. I know all of these reasons are extremely important when considering a baby. I cant help this feeling though! Its driving me crazy because when I tell my boyfriend how much I would love to start a family with him, he lists all the above reasons and says he isnt ready for a child at our age. And I know he is right. But when this happens I get so sad and I feel horrible. Is anyone else going through this? How can you shut this off! I, my head I know Im supposed to want to go to college and have a career, to move in with my boyfriend and marry him before we have kids, but I want a child now. Apart of me wants all the above before I have a family but the other part is too overwhelming to ignore. Please tell me why Im like this?

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Kevin B69177 over a year ago

You're dealing with the biological urge to have a child and continue the species.

Guys also have similar drives, except we interpret it as a desire to get laid, and score as often as possible.

Your boyfriend is to be commended for his recognition that planning for the future, with a career and studies takes priority right now.

He sounds like he's got his priorities right. That's a valuable assett.

Don't give into the temptation to "accidentally get pregnant" cause there's nothing that will kill a relationship faster than a little one on the way when neither of you is ready, let alone prepared, to shelve your plans and devote all your energy to being a parent.

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fiona2307184768 over a year ago

Thank you for your reply :) I would never "accidentally get pregnant" that is a horrible thing to do. I want to have a child when we both want to, I just dont understand why I want one so much right now. I was never like this until I got into this relationship. My boyfriend does have his priorities straight and I know he is right, I really do but I cant help this! Its so annoying, he is understanding but every time its brought up I get sad and frustrated and then he feels bad because he isnt able to give me a child at this moment in time. I just want to know if anyone knows how to get rid of the feel for now, or put it on hold.

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Kevin B69177 over a year ago

Support your boyfriend. Don't undermine his efforts to get an education.

Tell him to stick to his guns.

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