I have sever panic

Hi i am a 30yo male i have had bad panic disorder and gad, ptsd and depression for about 12 years now.. I am here because sence thursday last week i have been off my nerv meds kolopin .5mg, For the past 3 or 4 nights i have a new form of panic it happens when i goto bed and laydown to try and sleep. I canot sleep till 3 or 4 am cause i have sever raceing thoughts, I have weird feelings in my head kinda like sudden dizzyness. And i stay on aleart i have sever panic attacks with all kinds of odd diffrent symptoms that range from raceing heart, raceing thoughts, that odd feeling in the head, shaking, chocking feeling, breathing distress, And just weird odd feeling in my body hard to discribe. I have had balance problems for a few years but it's getting worse. At work i freakout so bad that it is really hard to walk, I have vision problems, My legs feel like jelly and weak. I stay at a sever gait offbalance and confused and so scared to death about what is wrong. I feel as if i am about to die! The panic stays with me all day long and wont calm down except maby a few times a day then comes right back. I have had a brain scan all the way down to my pelvis, About 6 to 8 months ago. That was clear so was the chest x-ray. I have many scans in the past as well. Now when i was on xanax 1mg twice a day i was ok the xanax stopped 95% of the panic and it stopped the balance and walking problems as well as the shaking. I basicly felt normal with xanax. I guess my question is can comming off kolopin .5mg 1 to 2 times a day cause the panic to skyrocket like it is doing now? Could this be a form of withdraw even a week later? I have never had panic just by laying in my bed before.. A quick rundown of my symptoms all of them...

shaking, offbalance, jelly legs, weird head feeling, vision problems, raceing heart, chocking sensation, sudden feeling of pending doom like im about to die, sometimes speech problems when my panic is high i feel as if i am chocking when trying to talk and it take a few mins to talk clear, I keep inspecting my body for changes all the time like i can't control it. I keep constantly moveing a part of my body i have to move something all the time or i feel more panic and shaky, About 2weeks ago i went to the er for minor panic and they did full blood work and urine ll was clear just my potassium was alittle low. I always worry i have a brain tumor cause of all the weird multiple symptoms i have almost 24/7, I never use to think about cancer till i watched my mom die 2years ago from lung cancer with mets to the brain. sence then i have obbsessed about haveing a tumor in my head. I am sick of running to get brain scans all the time when i get scared. Another question can panic really get this bad and be just panic? I feel like i can do anything but when i try i become so scared of what will happen and if i can make it.Like today at work haveing such sever walking problems i had to force myself and tell myself i can walk it's just panic. At times i could walk ok and others i had to force it feelt like i was going to passout if i kept walking. I have done extensive research on panic disorder and cancer. I dont have signs of cancer. Most of the signs and symptoms point to extream panic and fear constant never ending fear. I'm close to loseing my job and my relationships as people are tired of me freaking out and being so scared and talking to them about it all the time. I do cleaning work at a fastfood place because they know i have panic and cannot do things dealing with public, But i try to hide at work all the time like take trash to the dumpster and just hang there as long as i can, Or wash the bathroom walls for over an hour just to hide in the bathroom and bealone. When i am haveing panic or walking problems i hate for people to see me so i hide. I am so ashamed and even writeing this i am about to cry becuse it's just so overwelming. I can't think straight, i can't focus, i have memory problems, I'm so embarrased of myself i dont want people to look at me because i am nutz, I am not normal and i am always all alone noone understands me. I have a boyfriend who i love with all my heart but he makes fun of me and causes strss when i panic and never wants to listin to me discuss it. But ilove em so much. In a room with a million people i am totaly alone and scared fighting a never ending battle to stay sain and be as normal as i can be. I just want to be normal i dont want to be so scared all the time. I want to stop thinking i am going to die soon all the time. I want to be in public and be ok. I want to be free from this. I want to work a full day without sever panic and walking distress. I want to goto bed at night and be ok and not have panic that keeps me awake and that one is the new one the bedtime panic started about 3 to 4 days ago. Nothing as i can tell has changed other then being off kolopin for a week now. I dont want to lose my job and i dont want to lose my boyfriend and i dont want to go crazy what can i do????? Usely at home i hardly have any panic. Now it's constant 24/7. I want to call out of work tommorow because i know how it will be. I dont look foward to bedtime cause i am so scared of the panic i get when i lay down. What is wrong with me??? Can i be cured? When i get int bad panic like this i always thing i have a fatle problem like a brain tumor or something like MS, Sometimes i cant speak to anyone then other times i wont shutup. Would a fatel problem showup in blood work? Cause mine is mostly always normal. I dont mean to ramble on but u can see i have a raceing mind cause i dont know how to word things the right way. I'm sure someone with problems like mine could have made this post shorter and more easy to understand. Also is anyone out there like me? Do u have such sever intense panic most of the day and it affects your life and mind? I obsess over anything and everything.. Where i live it's hard to get nerv meds i am on them sometimes off them sometimes a sudden stop. Can that be the cause of this? Stopping them sudden and being on and off them? I dont abuse the drugs but they dont really want to give the to me either and xanax by far has been the only relief for me it really works wonders and helps alot. When on xanax after a week i am back to my normal self talking and haveing fun with others. Something that seems only a dream right now!! Anyway this is getting long i hope i made some kinda sence. Please reply asap thank's...