This is my issue:
My husband use to smoke weed while a young kid and all throughout High School as his Dad always has and his brother as well. The boys would steal it from their dad. I personally was never OK with it and it caused many fights between us as we dated.. he joined the service right after H.S. and had to stop-- when his four years were up, we then had a 9 month old little girl, I pleaded with him that I didn't want him going back to his old ways- that I wanted to raise our child in a smoke free enviorment. Truth is, he didn't stay clean and as I was pregnant with my son I found out he got back in to it.. heavily. He started lieing to me, sneaking away, staying away more.. not as helpful with the kids. It has been an ON GOING issue for us as I do NOT smoke and don't want him to. He is already a depressed individual that takes meds for that and he is smoking like he would a cigerette. After on going issues for years of fighting all the time about this- lying behind my back, etc... my kids are now 5 and 4 and we are having behavorial issues with my youngest. I've questioned my husband a lot about doing it in front of my kids and he tells me he doesn't. I know he is full of B*llSh*t. He never drives my car (better in gas) he always drives his truck because he does it in it. He knows I will smell it if he were to take my car. I've drove his truck at times and it disgust me to step foot in it and smell the marijuana. I've lifted his center consel and find a zip lock of weed... and he is taking care of my children while driving with that kind of stuff on him. Here is my problem- I believe it has turned in to, EVERY time he gets in his truck with my kids going somewhere he is smoking with them in it. I'm concerened for my kids on a couple different levels-- one their HEALTH. Is this causing my son to misbehave by this second hand smoke? Second, while doing it in front of them, they may have issues with this themselves. Third, they are learning to hide things and lie. Fourth, him getting pulled over and having my kids taken away.
Can any one give me any useful information.. suggestions?
I've read in my forums about how Marijuana is non addicting and I would like to just point out that I think that is 100% false. My husband and I have been together since 9th grade.. currently we're 28.. been through hell and back.. I've kicked him out, threatened..etc.. he will NOT stop, either I'm not strong enough to make a hard call and stick with it or he is just dumb. He doesn't want to loose me but he wont stop for me either. I'm at the point now that I'm turning in to his mom, doing what his family did and I'm not okay with that.. I don't want to raise my children thinking this is acceptable. Help?
I'm really sorry to read about your prediciment- I hope I can help in some small way.
Firstly though- I just want to say- no one here can tell you what to do; that has to come from you. If you don't feel your husband will ever change his habit and you can no longer live with it around your children, then you've got some major decissions to make.
However- I hope I can reassure that the marijuanna is (more than likely) not to blame for your son's behavioural problems. THAT sounds like more of an issue to do with what he's seeing/hearing at home or inconsistant discipline & routines. While the risks of cancers through second-hand smoke are well documented, there hasn't been any medical evidence of second- hand marijuana smoke causing issues (unless the smoker is pregnant, then low birth weight, minor neurological development & lung development can be effected).
BUT...and here's a big BUT...just because it hasn't been documented, it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. I'm a great believer that over a pro-longed consistant period of time (i.e; every day for years), second-hand smoke may have an effect on a child's neurological development and may cause as a prequistite for schizophrenia and/or paranoia disorders. However, if your children are developing side-effects from 2nd hand marijuana smoke, it's quite likely it won't become evident until their late teens-early 20's (when mental health issues are more evident.)
The biggest concern here, is the influence your husbands habit is having on your family life and the possibility that the children will think it's ok to turn to marijuana, when they're older.
It IS addictive- I will absolutely agree with you on that one! Yet any habit can be addictive- from shopping & the internet to smoking weed & hitting a coke bomb- but as parents, we hope that we can steer our children in to the path of healthy 'addictions' or succeed in showing them that moderation is the only way.
Is your situation viable enough that you can take a break with the kids, away from your husband, to show him that your serious about him changing?
I hope that whatever happens, you & your kids get a happy outcome. There has been a fallacy for too long that weed is harmless and it would be an utter shame to hear about yet another family ruined by this addiction.
You are ok with him taking poisonous meds rather than a safe herb? Let him be and tell him only outside not around the kid, jeez!